Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Rogue

 

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package."


The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."


"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"

Read more on page: https://jokesoftheday.net/

Friday Fill Ins

Thanks to my two friends it is  time to fill in the blanks!   There part of the sentence is in back, and I filled in the blank with blue.

Enjoy

1.When it comes to making decisions, I choose fart over poop everytime because you don’t need to move to fart, and my non-opposable thumbs make me useless at cleaning up if I am wrong

2. Getting two treats because one parent didn’t tell the other I already had one was the highlight of my week.

3. I wish there was a Tutti Frutty truck that only sells treats for dogs  in my local area. 

4. Thanks to my long lost ovaries , I don’t have to worry about going into heat in the summer. It is bad enough going into humidity. 

Poetry Thursday

 

My friend who is one spoiled cat gave me the picture below for the Thursday Poetry blog hop

Anthony dreamed of lifting weight

But when he did he tore his taint

Which is a couplet you ain’t

Gonna find in Romeo and Julilet

Anthony knew he couldn’t compete with the boys

Because his nuts were smaller than the chips in Chip-A-Hoys

You would be great if you weren’t a boy

Said his friend Tim, who wasn’t being coy

Anthony told his doctor he wanted to be a chick

So pull out the bone saw and whack off the dick

The doctor thought Anthony was quite sick

And thought of mental hospitals they could send him quick

Anthony was put in a 72 hour hole

But that did not stop him from his goal

His days were numbered being a foal

And another doctor told him all it took was drilling a new hole

Soon Anthony was Antonia a chunky girl

With big thighs and hair in curl

Sde told the girl’s coach he wanted to lift weights and he said give it a whirl

And she was confident she could lift the weights and give them a twirl

At least when she attempted it her balls wouldn’t hit the floor

But she should have worried about her doctor who only worked on the poor

And what happened next was force majeure 

And from her butt to her surgical scar everything tore

Antonio wished she had not made the change

And genitalia is not something you can easily exchange

And sports is not a reason to do a pubic rearrange

When it comes to removing your penis think long range

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

There goes the neighborhood

The dogs are moving in

They'll bring their next of kin

Monday Question

What is your position on belly rubs?

Do you like them?

Are you addicted to them?
Do you lie on your back with your paws in the air showing off what Momma gave you?

Ruby's Answer: I might roll over for a few rubs but that is it.

But, each morning, when my parents pull down the covers to expose me at the bottom of the bed I am always on my back with my legs straight up.

Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Chase and Slater

 

It has been a while since I wrote about a friend coming to the Bridge, not because there has been a lessening in arrivals, they still do, night and day, in sometimes overwhelming numbers, but because the number of angels I knew when I was mortal has dwindled. It has been more than a dozen years since I crossed over, and that is longer than the average dog’s lifespan.

One of the things drilled into me at Judge’s school was to never be excited to meet someone who has passed away. They are transitioning, and the day they arrive is usually the worst time of their mortal, and immortal times. It is why no one ever repeats a funny story they heard at a funeral.

So I had to hide my pleasure when I saw that Aunt Gretchen’s baby Chase was arriving. Like me, and River, Chase went from being perfectly healthy leaving those who loved him, especially his parents and his puppy sibling from another litter, Slater.

They had been siblings for 14 years, always together, two hearts beating as one. The problem with having a soul whose heart beats with yours is that when it disappears your heart becomes overwhelmed and everything becomes more difficult.

I thought when Chase came to my home that he was having trouble adjusting to his new life, but he shocked me when he said that Slater would be joining him by sunset.

I waited with Chase by the Bridge waiting for Slater to arrive. Poor Chase could feel all the pain his parents did on this day, as he tried to take it away from his parents and put it on him. But there was too much. 

We saw Slater crawl out of the River of Life and cross Rainbow Bridge. Slater ran directly to Chase, without acknowledging me, because he could only see the other part of his heartbeat. I tried not to listen to their hushed conversation, except for hearing several times that Slater was so very tired. 

Then Chase told him that now, for the first time in a while neither were tired, and they slowly began to play with one another like when they were young, and then they began running into the setting sun barking all the way. 

The two hearts were reunited, and soon will be devoted to easing their mother’s pain.

I will bet on the two of them.

I always bet two for good.