I'm the type of dog that doesn't like to settle down, where there is a warm place to be sitting I'll be lying around, I'll snuggle into a ball just a cute as anything you've ever seen, but it's my Mommy's lap that's fit for a Queen.
They call me the Foley Monster, yeah the Foley Monster, I sleep around, around, around, around.
Throughout my life, when I'm done sleeping in my brown furry house, or the couch, or the end of the chair, preferably under a blanket, I stand, stretch, and head for my Mommy's warm, comfortable lap. But lately there's been a sign on her lap reading "ocupada," and sitting in my spot: Where I sleep! Where my children come and play with their toys! is Pocket. She broke my heart. She broke my heart.
I nuzzle her. I let out a pur. My teeth go back and I growl. I plead to Mommy with a pitiful howl.
"Foley if you wanted to be on my lap you shouldn't have got up," she says. "Pocket is sitting here, now shoo,"
"Now shoo?" You do not shoo a Monster. Was Frankenstien shooed? Godzilla? If you shooed them they would wreck your town.
I find another place on the recliner to sit, and grumble, mumble, tumble, and even fumble. Yet Pocket remains.
And I have to look at her. Please! Do not think this is mere jealousy. What makes my ovaries roll over in their specimen dish is that she's so unprofessional. When you sleep on Mommy's lap you curl up with your head near your tail, and when you look up a little flash of white can be seen beneath your brown eyes. It melts hearts.
Pocket lays on her lap like Lindsay Lohan sprawled out in an alley at 7:00 in the morning, arms and legs splayed everywhere, fluffy wide open for the puparrazi to film. It's not just that she's in my spot, it's that she has no respect for it.
I have begun to take retaliatory action. Her green ball is almost destroyed. Today I tried to finish it off but Daddy took it away. During nap time I bitched and moaned and whined and groaned so much she finally decided to move so she could get some sleep.
I know, I could just stay in her lap all day. If it's open my Mom will always give me first dibs.
But I can't do that,
Cause I'[m the Foley Monster. The Foley Monster.
And I sleep around around around around.