Friday, January 8, 2010

Pocket's Housebreaking theme song: Born To Pee

I have firmly committed myself to being a housebroken puppy, even if I have to become a pill popper to accomplish the goal. (After all Mommy and Daddy both need a half dozen pills to make it to work in the morning. The American Dream now comes in an easily swallowed tablet.)

To help me obtain this goal I have written, and will so be recording, with the Tanner Brigade band, my new single: "Born To Pee."

I hope you enjoy my noble effort at self-motivation:

In the summer we pee it out on the grass of a fresh cut American lawn
In winter we pee through doggy doors of plastic in banks of frigid snow
Sprung from crates out on the wet grass
Shaggy coated, piss dispensing and steppin out over the property line
Baby house training rips the bones from your back
It's a pee stain, it leaves Mommy looked pained
I should of learned this when I was wee
Cause pups like us baby we were born to pee

Gracie let me in and teach me how to mend
I need to learn how to be housebroken
Just wrap your paw round my colorful depends
And help me to leave outside a chitin
Together we could fill a yard with crap
We'll pee till we drop, baby we'll never go back
Will you pee with me against a flat tire
'cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rug wetter
But I gotta find out how it feels
I wanna pee outside I wanna know if potty training is real

Beyond the doggy park recently groomed Shih Tzus pee down the boulevard
The girls lick their hohos with rear leg lifts
And the spaded boys try to pretend they're hard
The Pet-Co sign blinks bold and stark
Puppies are snuggled under a blank in a tryst
I wanna be with you Gracie on the lawn tonight
in a never ending piss

The sidewalks jammed with strutting poodles on a late night power walk
Everybody's vicking on the road tonight and there's no place left to step
Together Gracie we'll relieve our full bladders
Then we'll run on the grass, leap and roll - Oh!
Someday girl I don't know when we're gonna get to that time
Where we really have to go and we'll piss in the sun
But til then pups like us Maggie we were born to pee

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