Monday, May 17, 2010

Our lovely meeting with Ms. Nadine aka Buttons' Mom

From the desk of Pocket Dog:

Saturday night Mommy and Daddy sat in their chairs, and took that little thing they talk into. Daddy set it on the table and punched some numbers. Then Daddy began getting frustrated because he couldn't get something called the speaker phone to work. Then a voice came from it.

I listened intently for the word that all phone conversations are based on: pizza. But they didn't say that word, they said an even more mysterious word. They said Pocket.

That's me!

Oh crap! Did I finally push them too far? Were they calling the doggie catcher? I needed to pay close attention to this call, while still sitting on the couch keeping one eye open for a pizza guy because a dog never knows.

Well you will never guess who it was. It was Nadine, the famous author of "The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood" and holistic dog counselor, and mother to the famous Buttons. And get this, do you know what they were talking about?

That's right, me and my pee!

First Daddy got Foley to bark for her and Nadine got very excited actually hearing Foley. I don't know why she got excited. Frankly I find her barking annoying at best. Then she started calling my Daddy Boston Rob because she said he has an accent. I didn't notice that Daddy had an accent. Then again I didn't realize Boston Rob did either.

Then they got down to the reason for the conversation. Mommy had Daddy wanted to know if Ms. Nadine knew what to do about my persistent peeing. They have tried everything the books said. But they never tried anything her book said.

This is what she said about me. She said that I'm a nervous dog. Well, that was scary. Also I am an excitable pee-er. Make a note to yourself not to take me on a roller coaster. "Daddy, it's raining....yellow." When I'm playing ball with Dad I don't used my hold muscles. I try do my kegel exercises but Foley won't hold my paws.

Nadine said the other time I pee is when the situation changes. Like when Grey's Anatomy goes off for the year, I'll be pissing up a storm. She said that, if Mommy or Daddy leave the room, I get scared and I pee, and I do! Or when I am alone and can't find anyone I pee. Sometimes I get lost in the kitchen. I pee. I think I do it to leave a trail so they can find me.

She suggested several all natural remedies that are supposed to make me balanced, which I think is a waste of time because one thing I am good at is standing. She also talked about my diet, telling Mommy and Daddy how they can cook it up for me. It was a very good conversation. She said if we followed her advice I could live to be 22 years old.

Of course who wants a 22 year old who can't hold her pee?

But Mommy and Daddy wanted me to say that if you have some pet questions, and want answers, you probably won't get at the Doctor's Office, and some common sense ideas when it comes to pup health, contact her for a consultation. You won't be sorry.

Even though she didn't bring pizza.

Her profile was deleted by accident, but she is setting up a new Buttons page soon, so check it out, and tell her Boston Pocket said hey.

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