Friday, September 7, 2012

Cracking the Refrigerator Code

Since she was a pup I have noticed that Pocket, while seemingly very innocent, is, when determined, quite clever.  I have, sadly, had three sisters and a brother who went to the Bridge.  I loved them all, but in Pocket I saw a dog who might be able to solve the mystery of the most bothersome appliance in the house.

No, not the vacuum cleaner.  While I grant you the vacuum cleaner sucks, if we were to defeat it, while we would have the temporary reward of victory, we would more than likely get in a tremendous amount of trouble, and Mommy would just buy a new on the next day.

No, the real appliance of mystery is the refrigerator.  It is here where what we desire the most is kept.  Food.  And unlike a cabinet door it can’t be nudged open.  These appliances have been made dog proof because that’s the way the humans have wanted it.  
They have spent decades working on keeping us dogs out of their magical food storage unit.  They have spent years perfecting that white thing on the side of the door.  It’s only purpose is to make it impossible to open the door except by using the handle.  And they position the handle so high up that it’s impossible for a small dog to get to, and so close to the door that it’s impossible for a larger dog to get their paws around it.  I never thought we could crack it, until Pocket was born, and I started seeing things through her eyes, and realized, with years of planning, we could get that door open.

First Pocket invented these.  I know, we have never mentioned that Pocket invented this toy.  I know many of you have played with the toy, and enjoyed it, but it isn’t really a toy, it’s a tool.  What we needed was something long that could fit in our mouths.  We now pause until Brody’s Mom stops laughing.

The long snake toy is perfect.  But to do something as complicated as breaking into a refrigerator you have to be patient.  If we started using it for it’s true purpose right away humans would figure it out and take it off the market.  But now, since the humans think it is just an innocent toy, there is one in just about every home in the country.



Last week Pocket and I began to experiment getting the refrigerator door open.  I waited for a day when Daddy put us in the bedroom because Daddy does not really pay attention when he is shutting to door and it does not latch.  I am able to paw the door open and let Pocket out of her crate.  She picked the stuffless snake in her mouth and we walked into the kitchen.  She stood on her back legs but couldn’t reach the handle.  She then stood up on her tippy claws and was just able to get the tip of the toy through the handle  I then stood up on my tippy claws but my legs are smaller and I could not reach it.  I thought we were done but Pocket put her head under my butt and then used the strength she had built up from all those k9 kamps to lift me just enough that I was able to grab the tip of the snake with me teeth.  

I pulled it down until it was equal length with the snake on the other side.  Then Pocket and I each took an end in our mouths and began backing up and pulling.  It was hard to get traction on the linoleum but finally the troublesome white stuff on the door pulled away from the frame.  The door was open!  Pocket and I both ran for the door but it shut before we got there.  We determined that one of us, when we opened the door, had to stand with the snake in their mouth while the other explored what was inside.  We picked up the snake again, pulled, and this time we got the door open and I passed the end of the snake to Pocket who now held both ends.

I ran up to the refrigerator.  I looked in the door.  Soda (blech!) and beer (hmmm, but no opener.)  Everything else in the drawers were in plastic bottles.  Then I put my paws on the first shelf.  There was a drawer below us.  I tried to open it with my paws but could not do it.  Then I realized what I needed.  A butt scratcher.  Daddy uses it to get Pocket’s ball when it gets stuck under furniture.  I picked up the scratcher and put it in my mouth then walked back to the refrigerator.  This was very difficult.  I had to hold the non scratcher end in my mouth and then lifted it until it was under the handle of the drawer and pulled.  The drawer opened!  I scampered over and looked inside. .  It was filled with fruits and vegetables.  I lifted a bag out tore it open and shared a baby carrot with Pocket.  I liked them but Pocket spit hers out.

Then I put the carrots back and looked on the first shelf.  Butter:  no good.  Celery:  Blech.  What’s this in the bag here?   Oh my gosh.  The mother lode.  It was the bag of Kerri’s Kookies.  Pocket came running over and the door shut behind us but we didn’t care.   We enjoyed three cookies and Pocket reminded me not to over do it.  When our tummies were full we used the snake to open the door again and I put the Kookies back.  Pocket was now nervous.  This had taken a long time and she was afraid Mommy was going to be home but I wanted to take a look on the second shelf.  We got the door open, I peered up, and then I saw it, boneless chicken thighs.  I grabbed the package and pulled it to the floor while I heard a dog cry no.  I began to tear at the package while Pocket begged me to stop.  She said if we ate the chicken now Mommy would know we had defeated the refrigerator and not only would we cost ourselves another look inside but all our friends would never get in their refrigerators either.

It was one of the most difficult decisions of my life.   But I decided to return the chicken thighs to the refrigerator untouched.  We opened the door again.  I stood up with my paws on the shelf and Pocket ran up to me.  The door squished me a little but didn’t hurt.  Then we picked both picked up the package of chicken and replaced it.  I took one more look around the refrigerator, but there was only yogurt, cake, and other yucky human items.  We let the door shut.

We agreed to come back in a week.  If we took a little out at a time it might not be noticed.  Pocket also went back to the drawing board in her kitty condo to try and get to the top shelf, and, if at all possible, the dream of dreams, the freezer.

So now friends it is up to you.  I am afraid that smaller only dogs may be out of luck unless there is a helpful cat and trusting squirrel.  I do believe a big dog, if they move quickly, can both open the door and get to the food.  But don’t be greedy.  Take only a couple of items.  If the humans figure out we have cracked the refrigerator code they will go back to securing them again.

So be smart, and good luck my friends.

We are one step closer to ruling the world.

2 comments:

  1. Wow you guys are so enterprising. I help out with left overs and the odd bin raid but I've never thought of the fridge. I'm going to give it a whirl when the peeps are out. Off now to dream of bagging some cheese. Have a great Saturday.
    Best wishes Molly.

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  2. Mhhh. I will have to give this a try. But honestly that cold box is huge and it will take 10 dogs to swing that door open. Until then... I am frequent shopper at the pantry and the candy shop in daddy's car.

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