Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Top Ten Things We Have Learned After 500 Blogs

We recently wrote our 500th blog.  It was an Ask Aunt Foley blog and that seemed fitting.  We have learned lots of things while writing our blogs but we have whittled them down to a top ten.  So now we present the top ten things we have learned while writing our blogs.

10.  If you are going to use the words Mommy, big, and ass in the same blog make sure they are several paragraphs apart.  

9.  The chance of someone stumbling upon your blog on Stumbleupon is the same as you stumbling on the kitty who took the golden vick.

8.  While social networks that are based on dogs have the best people, not all the people are the best.  Hitler loved his dogs.  If he was alive today he might be blogging about his dogs.  Rule number one of dog social networking:  Do not befriend Hitler.  You will know it is him because his blog is named Mein Comef.

7.  We post on dog sites and on our blog page and we average around 150 hits from all these posts combined.  But when we wrote a blog about why dogs should have a beach of their own, featuring pictures of fat people in bathing suits we got more than 2,000 hits above our average, so, no matter what you are blogging about, include a picture of a fat guy at the beach.


6.  There are a number of great sites in the dog social network web that produce incredible treats and sometimes Kol’s Notes if you mention how great their treats are Kerri’s Kookies they will send you some treats Iluvyourpet.  The key is that you don’t want to just do a blog about how Ralph’s Bakery these treats are.  You have to be subtle.  You can’t Kerri’s Kookies look like you’re begging.  So just Iluvyourpet drop their names in your blogs and they will know you are sincere and keep Ralph’s Bakery your tummy full.  P.S. Kol’s Notes.

5.  If you happen to come up with a clever term for dogs like Lollipops or for our bodily function you need to copyright that.  While it is very good for our little egos ao see the words catch on and other people use them it doesn’t put any more kibbles in our bowl.

4.  Leave them laughing or leave them crying but if you leave them angry then your in box is going to be filled with hate for a lot of weeks.

3.  ABMF and NFLF.  The first is Always Be Making Friends.  The second is Never Forget Lost Friends.  You always want to be making friends because, since I began writing this blog 500 postings ago I have lost dozens of friends.  So each day I try to make at least one friend because you can never have too many.  And new friends can help you get past the pain of losing old ones.  And never forget a lost friend because if you never forget them, and write about them, and post pictures about them, then they will live in, in our hearts, minds, and on the Internet, forever.

2.   There is no such thing as a bad dog, only bad dog owners.  And there is no such thing as an ugly dog, but I’ve seen pictures of some of dog owners....and geesh.

1.  We dogs are the master race.  Our humans feed us, pick up our vick, take care of our medical needs, buy us toys, and provide for our every need.  Obviously, if one species does that for another, they have them enslaved.  But we are generous of spirit and heart.  While we can’t pay our humans, or provide for them, we can be their angels, make them smile, give them unconditional love, make them feel like they are the most special people in the entire world, because they are.  So, from the day you walk into your forever home, to the day you go to the Bridge, never stop loving your parents and let them know they are loved.  Because that’s why we’re here.  To be their angels on Earth, because they are ours. 

5 comments:

  1. Thank you for all the tips. We are now off to find a pic of a fat person on a beach. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  2. wisdom is our domain... because we have four legs. Foley has spoken. Amen

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  3. ROTFLMAO. I missed this one, but I love you guys. I'm going to try dropping designer names into my posts Yves St. Laurent just to see what happens. I mean Chanel it cant hurt, right?

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  4. These are the best tips about blogging I have ever read!

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