River Song Goes to Town

I have been told that I suffer from terrible separation anxiety when my Mommy leaves the house.  I say this is not true.  I don’t have separation anxiety.  I have “Oh no Mommy has left me and is never coming back” anxiety.

Mommy has tried everything.  A Thunder Shirt, a pheromone collar, Rescue Remedy, playing classical music, and nothing works.  I am crated when my parents are gone, and when they get home, if I haven’t soiled the crate,  I have moved it four feet across the floor.   

I am better when Daddy stays home with me, but not by much.  Here is a video of me taken by Daddy.  I am on the kitchen table, looking out the window, howling for Mommy to come home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFlEFgJ6MM

This week Mommy had to go out in the morning.  Daddy let Mommy have the bathroom to do her morning things and Daddy planned to take a shower after she left.  As soon as she was out the door I was at the kitchen window desperately looking for her and jumping on the table looking down the road for the first sign of her car.

Daddy went to take his shower.  He left both the bedroom and bathroom doors open so, if I was scared and thought I was alone, I could run into the bathroom, put my paws on the tub, stick my head in, and be reassured that he was still with me, which I did, several times.

When Daddy was done showering he took a towel from the rod, wrapped it around his waist then sat on the side of the tub to pat me and calm me down.  I jumped up, put my paws on the side of the tub, stuck my head under his towel and went to town.

About 30 minutes later Daddy gave me a slap in the head and told me to stop licking him there.  (Daddy says the licking occurred for less than five seconds.  I recall it being longer than that.  I guess we are just going to have to agree to disagree.)

Daddy kicked me out of the bathroom, which was quite rude, got dressed, then sat me down on his lap.  I looked up, hoping he didn’t want more.  He told me that this was not something we should share with Mommy and I agreed.

Then Mommy’s came in and I was so happy to see her I peed on the floor then spilled everything about me going down on Daddy’s junk.

Mommy and Daddy had a long talk where she got loud and he got defensive and now I can’t be home alone with Daddy when he takes a shower, and I think I cannot be home alone with Daddy without some court supervision.

Man, humans are sure serious about their junk.