Thursday, May 24, 2018

Pocket's True Confessions


I don’t get to go to church often, so I need to make my confessions here and now.
Sometimes I pretend I don’t want to eat when I actually do. My parents give me attention and eventually more food.

I give River a mean look which causes her to snap at me and then I whine and get lots of snuggling from my parents.

On walks, when I want to sniff the ground longer, I pretend to pee because my parents don’t pull on the leash when I am peeing.

I have eaten both grain free food and food full of grain, and they both taste like crap.

Actually, that isn’t true.  If River poops on the pads and I  get there first, I eat her poop, and I like it more than kibble.

Sometimes, I will bark for no reason in the middle of the night to make my parents move so I can sleep on the warm spot on the bed.

During walks, when I endlessly bark at my neighbors, I am criticizing their fashion choices.  Long pants and flip-flops together annoy me.
If parents can yell at the TV during sporting events, the
n I can look out the window and bark at nothing.

I love to talk with my friends on the Internet, but if I met them in real life, I would probably just bark at them, wag my tail, and make a fool of myself.

The only thing I have learned that is close to a trick is acting like I didn’t get a treat and making my other parent give me another one.

I know what those signs with the squatting dog on a lawn with an x through it mean but I always leave a little poop in my system just for their lawn.

When it comes to pee-mail, she who pees last pees the longest.

It is weird that I don’t mind sniffing River’s butt, but I don’t like that we drink out of the same dish.


Sometimes I fake wagging my tail.  I’m not excited, but it makes my parents happy to think they are leaving me satisfied, and I just want to go to sleep, so a little fake wag never hurt anyone.

10 comments:

  1. Bahhahahhah...........us pugs ALWAYS eat our food. We laughed at your confessions....mags and gussie

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  2. Good confessions and they made us all smile!

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  3. You made me laugh! I love that you save one poop in your system for anyone with a sign with an X through a squatting dog! Ha ha ha

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  4. And we grant you absolution for all your confessions - because you made us laugh:)

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  5. glad you got that all off your chest!
    hugs
    Hazel & Mabel

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  6. I need to learn how to fake pee!

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  7. guess what? I do the pee trick too... it works great when I want to eat rabbit poop ;O)))

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  8. Pocket honey, it sounds like getting attention from your folks and making them happy (as well as treats) are some of your favorite things. You can't "fool" us with your confessions, sweetie pie.

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  9. I like to "play" the yum yum door. Whenever I go out and do some business, I get a little treat when I come back inside. Sometimes I can fool the humans to put me out even if I've just been out and score another treat.

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  10. Pocket, you crack us up, and we (The Wild Ones) do a lot of the same thing!!!

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