"White water rafting is fun," you said
Now if we get off of this thing, you'll wish you were dead
I wanted to go to Disney World
On the teacups, the guy next to me wouldn't have hurled
You are one stupid son-of-a-bitch
My mom said married to you, I would never be rich
I should have married Tom from Target
Who is now making money in the bear market
On vacation, his family goes to France
While I am trying to paddle behind a guy who shit his pants
I am on vacation, beaten and tattered
All because I married a syphilitic bastard
I swear we make it to land. I am going to kill you
Using torture methods developed deep in Puru
Oh, Jesus, we're headed for a rock
What are you doing? Filming for Tik Tok>
I am wet in places that shouldn't be wet.
And dry in spots I would rather forget
This is the last time I go with you on vacation
Serves right I had to marry a man with a third-grade education
Damn, I just got hit in the face with a large-mouthed bass
I slid and got an oar up my ass
Give me that little Deliverance boy playing the banjo
When he says you have a pretty mouth, I will cheer him on, yelling, "let's go."
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I do
Please, Lord, stop this inflatable canoe\
If we get close enough, I am going to smash your head on a rock
In the blessed name of Ronny Cox
Hmmm. A strongly felt poem today. (And who is Ronny Cox??)
ReplyDeleteStar of Deliverance
Deletesomtimes you should listen to your mama honestly!!! we so agree... and to sit next to someone with full pants is no fun...our granny once was in a bus behind a woman who puked in her purse... wheeew ... no fun.....
ReplyDeleteOur mom says now she has the Deliverance music playing in her head. BOL!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was young (ahem, when dinosaurs walked the Earth) I might have been tempted to get in a raft like that. I grew up in Niagara Falls NY and used to hike down the gorge and wade in the rapids. These days, forget it! I might have the same opinion as you in your poem.
ReplyDeleteOH Ruby Rose....the first 2 sentences said it all
ReplyDelete"White water rafting is fun," you said
Now if we get off of this thing, you'll wish you were dead"
Well done
Hugs Cecilia