The Ruby Rose Report: Traveling Like Royalty

I am the latest in a line of wonderful dogs that my parents have been fortunate enough to have in their lives. They started with Blake, a Shih Tzu who left us too soon at just six years old. Blake taught Foley how to be a good dog, and although she didn’t change the world, with a few more years, she certainly could have. Pocket was sweet and caring, although a bit high-strung for my parents. 

Then came River, my predecessor, who brought comfort and love to my parents. I have tried to measure up to these great dogs, and my parents say that I share many good qualities with those who came before me. However, according to my parents, there is one thing in which I excel above the rest.

 I am a very good passenger.

 Foley traveled extensively with my parents and was generally well-behaved. However, whenever she grew tired of the ride, she would become whiny. Pocket often jumped out of her car seat, dangling in the air like a parachute stuck in a tree. Meanwhile, River spent the entire trip trying to get into the front seat.

 I didn’t set out to be a great traveler. I just laid down in the back seat and relaxed. After a few months, I figured out how to stand in the seat and look out the window, then how to balance my front paws on the console, look out the front window, and get scratches from the front seat occupants. 

 I was so excited to be in the car that I shed like a bald man losing his toupee in a convertible on a windy day. So my parents got a big,, grey, ugly seat cover from the Big Grey Ugly store and I could shed my clothes in the back seat like a nubile teenage girl in a John Mellancamp song. I was attached to a tether but could roam the back seat. Sometimes when we went one way and I went the other my tummy would flip flop and Mr. Vomit splashed onto the Big, Grey, Ugly seat cover. 

 After the second occurance I was worried about being left home alone with my cursed stomach, but instead something awesome happened. They bought me a big, comfortable luxurious car seat. I can still see out the windows, but don’t wander around the seat and get stomach flip flops. I am riding in style, like royalty, and when I lie down it is in comfort. It is the second best part of going on car rides. The best is coming back home.