The Ruby Rose Report Nature Friday

It is time for another garden inspection which dovetails nicely with my good Arty and Rosie’s nature Friday. 

The Clemenzas are blooming around the light post in Blake’s garden. Mommy says they are clematis, but I like the name Clemenza better.

Blake’s garden is yet to bloom but the flowers look like they are about to burst open.

In River’s garden, the Wild Woodland sage is setting up a summer of purple reign.

The Great laurel azaleas are showing off in Foley’s garden. They are also known as Lady Eleanor Cathcart. Daddy’s mommy, the original owner of the Saint Anthony statue was also a lady named Elanor. Coincidence? Clemenza says there is no such thing as coincidences.

Foley ordered her garden to be surrounded by pavers. She says it makes it look like a magical English garden. Whatever. At least she won’t be hounding our dreams now.

Also, she wanted her garden solar angel to be higher than Saint Anthony, which was accomplished by an orange driveway snowplow marker and tape. When Saint Anthony heard about him not being lower, he said “what a bitch.” Foley took it as a compliment.

Mommy just planted new guinea impatiens. Last year they lasted until the middle of October, longer than the Yankees (side Yankee burn.)

The hundred-year-old Ruby Rose bush has a lot of promising buds. I make sure it is pruned, and healthy. The responsibility of a 100-year-old bush is daunting for a little dog. Just ask Eva Marie Saint. 

Finally this morning Daddy bought this hanging plant at the supermarket. Then he bought a slab of bacon at the nursery.

He often gets confused.

So that’s where we are in the first week of June.

I will be back with a further update.

Your intrepid garden correspondent,

Ruby Rose

Poetry Thursday

 

Max and Felix met Larry at the club

A born braggart he liked spinning tales at the pub

He showed off a new watch which he won playing cards

Playing on the wings of a plane like other diehards

Felix and Max were not to be outdone

They thought they were the world's greatest daredevils bar none

They knew a stunt needed to be performed

And the brothers had a brainstorm

What is better than playing cards on the wing?

Playing a game of pong and ping

They would play table tennis midflight

And those watching below would be filled with delight

Finding a pilot would not be easy

Flying with men on the wing made them queasy

But they found Wild Bill a World War flying ace

Who in later years only flew with a shit face

They knew they needed to be bolted to the wing via their boots

While weaning a jumpsuit

They would perform a volley

And people on the ground would say good golly, Miss Molly

Wild Bill started the engine and took off

And the way the net blew Max realized they should have played golf

When the plane stopped its climb

Felix served the ball, and the stunt was sublime.

This was before people understood relativity

Because the ball did not got straight but to the cock pit causing activity

Wild BIll had a battle flashback

And began to take defensive manuevers thinking he was getting flack.

Max and Felix fell and gripped the wings

And for ten minutes they did cling

Until Wild Bill hit a barn

But that’s not the end of this yarn

Max and Felix survived the crash

With broken bones and a terrible whiplash

When Larry visited and was told they did it because of him he frowned.Then said, “you dumb bastards when playing cards we never left the ground.”

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

I cannot live one more day with that stupid, farty, ignortant dog.

He stepped in my water dish, he ate my food, and he peed in my bed and I only found out when I woke up in the wet spot.

You need to fix this. You brought it into this house you make it leave.

Now, if you will excuse, I am going to my tree to lick my leg and hack up a hairball. 

Monday Question

 How much outside time do you get in the summer?

Since I am a civilized dog who does her business inside on a pad I am out, at most for a half hour walk 'n' roll, and then some days about an hour sitting with my parents looking at the gardens.

Foley's Tales From Rainbow Bridge: Oscar. the Dog Who won't be Fooled again

 

Oscar had loved a human, but that person didn't love him back, and every time he tried to show his love he was punished. He tried licking and was told to stop, he tried snuggling and was told to get down, he dropped a ball at the human's foot and it would get kicked away. When he persisted his human became violent, and the anger and frustration at life was released on the only thing that truly loved him: Oscar. Finally, the human decided to rid himself of what they thought was the cause of all their problems: That damn dog 

Oscar was dumped at a shelter with a broken heart. He didn't know what would happen to him over the rest of his life, but he knew he would never trust another human.

And he didn't. When they touched him he growled and had to be muzzled during examination. He hid in the back of his enclosure, not running to the front when a person came by. Frankly, Oscar thought it was pathetic.

A woman would come by and ask about him, standing near the cage, watching him. She told him Oscar wasn't ready to be adopted. When he has been in the shelter so long, and considered a failure there was talk of sending him to the Bridge. When the woman heard she said she would take Oscar. At least she was saving them the cost of destroying the body.

Oscar had his section of the house where his blanket was, and he only left to go into the bathroom where his pee pads were. The woman who had brought him home never asked for more than Oscar could give.

He started out growling at her and then segued into merely ignoring her, even when fed. She would let the food sit until she had gone away then eat it.

She had heard about the love between dogs and humans, but it wasn't true, and Oscar wouldn't be fooled again.

But slowly, over weeks, Oscar grew accustomed to her. He inched up when she came near, but recoiled when she tried to touch. She softly told him it was okay and retreated.

It is hard to determine what Oscar thought on Mother's Day, maybe it was time to heal his wounds, or Oscar decided to take another leap of faith and trust a human.

The woman was on the couch. Oscar stood and slowly walked to her.

She didn't want to move and scare him.

He got on the couch next to her, laid down, reached for her with his paw, moved her hand to his head, felt her warmth, and everything bad thing that happened to him was washed away.

He was home.

And then he looked at his Mom, with all that heaven would allow in his eyes.

And Oscar, his life renewed, forgot it all, considering that day his first. And every day of his life has been filled with joy.

And in his new mom's life too. 

Poetry Thursday

 

It's Thursday and that means poetry day. Here is then picture Angel Teddy and Sammy have provided 

Well, it seems like I'm stuck in a boring meeting again

And, it seems like you are going over the same old things

Dull is pure evil, and you won't let anyone out to pee

Praying he shuts up and sets us free

Because we all desperately have to pee

Well it seems like I've been sitting in this meeting too long

And you're only the boss because your Uncle is CEO

We're beginning to fear this fool will never let us go

Will I see my spouse again? No, no, no

I'll never see my spouse again

But now I'm stuck

In this meeting that will not end

I'm stuck

Like an e-mail, I forgot to send

I'm stuck

Now it seems like my left foot has gone to sleep from sitting too long

And I am failing at suppressing a loud yawn

Because I'm stuck

Listening to this schmuck

I'm stuck

Having to pee like Donald Duck

I'm stuck

In a meeting that does suck

I'm stuck