Dear Aunt Foley: We are in a pack of three chocolate labs. We do everything together, play, swim, and nervously wait for Mommy to get home from work. But on Sunday Mommy got ready like she always does and we three labs planned to wait for her and worry. But then she took one of us Dodger, and left us behind. What the Fido? Why does Mommy prefer Dodger over us? And is there anything we should be doing to be more like Dodger? Personally, we don’t think that is possible. - Reba and Lagan
Reba and Logan: My understanding from my sources is that your Mommy
took Dodger because she believed he would be better behaved. It looks
like your Mommy has found a loophole. In the basic dog/human contract
we are supposed to obey their commands. But us dogs know we can pretty
much do what we want. Unless your humans are heartless what are they
going to do? Take us to the pound or not feed us? But your Mom has
stumbled on something new. She is awarding one pup for being good.
Instead of getting mad at you for bad behavior she is rewarding the
good one. Diabolical. I am afraid you have only two options. You
either have to do what Mom says and be able to go places with her or
keep on being bad and missing out on private time with Mom. My advice:
You will probably be able to go alone with Mom once a week but you can
be bad everyday so pick the everyday activity.
Dear Aunt Foley: I am concerned about the credibility of my local puppy school.
Recently my little sister graduated from the school and we were quite proud of her.
But a few weeks before that I discovered my favorite lamb chop toy had been destroyed.
never thought of my sister because she was close to being a puppy
school graduate But I put it together when, during her pupdictorian
address she began to cough and little bits of fluff came out. That’s
when I realized my sister had killed my lamb chop. Should I report the
local puppy school to the puppy accreditation board? Shouldn’t a puppy
school make sure they do not make their pupdictorian is not a lamb chop
killer> I am very worried about the future of pups going to this
Tasha: I am afraid that in the last few years the standard for pup
schools has decreased. Lately it seems if you can stay and not pee you
graduate. I just don’t know if you can pin the death of Lamb Chop on
your sister. Like a lot of bad students she may have been standing
under the trees behind the bosses smoking stuffies before class. That
could have been why she coughed fluff. Either way I do fret for our
future pupciety. I think, despite her personal injury of your toy, you
need to teach her right from wrong. I had to do it with Pocket. Of
course I said the hell with it and let her do what she wanted. But then
again I didn’t have a lamb chop.
Aunt Foley: Recently the dog my wonderful sister Sierra labeled the
Blob has let out a secret about me, I am a carpet surfer, That’s
right, when my butt itches I scratch it on the rug., I don’t leave a
trail, I am not a snail, no one follows me with a pail, to clean my
tail. I am not ashamed of being a butt scratcher. I can reach the area
where my balls used to reside but if my butt itches it’s the only way I
can scratch the itch. Isn’t it wrong for the Blob to make fun of me.
Am I a lesser dog because I carpet surf? If I go over a shard of glass
with my butt do I not bleed? Do I have anything to be ashamed of? And
should I be mad at the blob? - Tiger
Tiger: I don’t know what to say about Nase. Once a Blob always a
blob. There is nothing wrong with scratching your butt on the rug
unless you leave a snail trail. Buy like with good ribs there is
nothing wrong with a little dry rub. I tell you, I love having my butt
scratched. Not the Oracle part of my butt but just the bottom. Nothing
like a good butt scratching before bedtime I say. So scratch it up.
You only live once.
Dear Aunt Foley: I was just wondering how you are enjoying the Sayonna and Izzy treats I sent you. - Hannah Banana II.
Hannah Banana II : Oh my gosh those treats are so good. The sweet
potato is unbelievable. These are the best treats we have ever had,
Don’t get me wrong. We can be bought. Send us some free treats and we
will say they are great even if the taste like yesterday’s fish., But
these Hannah Banana treats are wonderful and I thank you so much for
them. Plus your legs taste very good when we hug. If you ever get
close to Hannah, taste her legs.