Friday, March 16, 2018
Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Foley, Bella, Paco and Reyah Go in Search of the Great Ape
I have an inquisitive mind. I like to go to the library and get lots of books. Recently I have been studying evolution. You would think that existing in the afterlife would make a dog dismiss the idea. But many factors create life, and we need to consider them equally. Which is why I became fascinated with apes.
They say humans are descended from apes. But where did the need to accompany dogs come from? Does it go back to the apes? Are we natural friends? I needed to find out and to do that I had to assemble a team. I choose Bella because everyone loves her, Reyah, who gets along with horses so should get along with apes, and Paco, in case the apes are Italian.
I borrowed a jeep. Bella climbed in the front next to me while Paco and Reyah got in the back. Paco is a trusted aide who I listen to frequently. He tried to tell me this was not a good idea, but I assured him it would be fine. I drove a long way into the Bridge jungle. We saw cheetahs, monkeys, and many curious birds. Then we came upon a troop of gorillas
I asked Paco to get out and talk to the gorillas. “That’s not a good idea,” he said.
“Paco, you’re always so willing to help me. Just go up and talk to the gorillas.”
“I no think so boss,” Paco said. “Paco is not getting eaten by a gorilla. I will stay and watch.”
Reyah told me that she would help if they were horses but she doesn’t do gorillas, and Bella pretended to be asleep. If you want a gorilla approached you have to do it yourself. I got out and walked up to the biggest one in the troop. “My name is Judge Foley Monster,” I announced, “and I want to question you.” The gorilla reached down and swatted me a half mile into the jungle.
I made my way back to the big brute. “Hey,” I said. “That was rude.” He went to swat me again, but I scampered out of the way. “Why are you doing this?” I asked.
“We have not needed dogs since we evolved from humans,” the gorilla said.
I was confused. “I thought that man evolved from gorillas,” I said.
He laughed. “Humans need jobs money, cars, and houses. We get to hang out in the jungle, swing from tree to tree, eat bananas all day, and no one messes with us because we are kings. Which species sounds more evolved?”
That made sense. “Why do you think you no longer need dogs?”
“We have entered a higher state of being than humans,” he said. “We don’t need the companionship.”
I told him to wait for a second and went back to the jeep. It took a lot of convincing to get a suspicious Paco, a sleepy Bella, and a cautious Reyah out of the vehicle. I told them we were going to get the gorillas back to their dog-loving selves. “I just don’t want them so dog loving they eat us,” Bella said. I assured her I was sure they wouldn’t.
“Oh crikey there is more of them,” the big gorilla said.
We stopped in front of a dozen angry gorillas. “What are we going to do?” Reyah asked.
“Treat them like we would treat our parents.”
“You want us to beg them for treats?” Paco asked. “I don’t like bananas.”
“No,” I said. “We play.” Then we did. We chased our tails. We nipped at one another.
We rolled on our backs and wiggled. We zoomed around the jungle. We grabbed branches and ran with them then got stuck between two trees. We nuzzled one another, and then we stopped and snuggled. I looked up at the lead gorilla hoping we had impressed them, but he just looked down scowling at us.
“Oh my gosh, look at them they are so cute!” the big gorilla said. Then they all came for us. They picked us up and gave us big kisses.
“Foley, gorilla breath, gorilla breath!’ Paco yelled.
A big ape snuggled with Reyah on the ground. Another chased Bella who was running in fear. Paco enjoyed getting his belly rubbed by an ape finger. The big gorilla giggled as he licked my face. It took a while, but soon we were having as much fun as the apes.
We played with them all afternoon. Once we got past the smell, the gorillas were very nice.
Then came a new problem. They connected with their human past so much they didn’t want us to leave. I gave them directions to our part of the Bridge, and the head gorilla said they would be visiting soon.
On our way home Paco asked me how I was going to tell all our friends that the gorillas were coming.
I told him that was a story for another day.