I've been told that I'm too high-strung and but I prefer to think of myself as vigilant. I have ears bigger than my head. I figure there must be a reason for this. I was given them to hear sounds no one else can and inform my family that danger is present.
There are many sounds that send me into a frenzy. The following is just a small list of such sounds.
The smoke alarm: The bane of every dog’s existence. When I hear that high-pitched beep I immediately alert whichever parent I'm closer to by climbing on their head. I don't know if they heard the sound or not but who can ignore a Yorkie on their head? Luckily the smoke alarm beep is a sound I seldom hear. It is reserved for something left in the oven too long. More common are the three quick high-pitched beeps that occur at four in the morning when all batteries die. My blurry eye and blurry eared parents can never locate the squawking alarm. It can take 15 minutes of them removing all the smoke detectors, holding them up to their ear, and listening until they hear the right one which they drop causing the batteries to fall out so we can all go back to bed.
The sound of silence; Our houses are supposed to make noise. The running of the refrigerator, the hum of the computer, the lights giving off a slight buzzing sound, humans may not be able to recognize these sounds but I sure do and when they stop and everything goes quiet I assume my lookout position on one of my parent's heads. After they are able to pry my claws from their scalp I still stand next to them waiting for the lights to come back on and all to be right in the world again.
The wind: The houses in my neighborhood are laid out like a military graveyard. They are all in a lineup and down and side to side. When the wind blows the layout causes the breeze to rip past the houses like a bowling ball in a well-greased alley. I know it's just the wind and it is nothing to worry about but what if it's a monster? How many souls die in monster stories because they think the monsters are just the wind? It is wiser to remain on alert.
River Song: She barks, she snores, she snorts, she growls. My parents find it cute. I must disagree. Every sound River emits is a warning. You don't want to interrupt her. If you do you're going to get snapped at. The only time River is more dangerous is when she's silent. It is best to be on guard when you're around a River Song.
Dinner being prepared: Have you ever noticed how much noise preparing dinner makes? Pots and pans clank as they are removed from cupboards, they hit the preparation areas with a resounding thud, food smacks against counters, sharp knives thwack into cutting boards, oven doors open with a squeak and close with a bang, blenders roar to life, when the refrigerator door opens it sounds like two whales kissing, the switches on the stove give a stern click when turned. During food preparation, I stay on the couch. I want the high ground if the noise is an indication that the utensils and appliances are mounting an attack. They certainly sound like they have malicious intent.
My dinner plate: When I attempt to eat the food on the far side of my plate I sometimes step on it and cause the plate to clank violently against the floor. I run from the sound. It takes several moments for me to trust the plate again. Instead of stepping on the offending plate I now eat the portion closest to me then I wait for my parents to spin my dinner so the rest is directly in front of me. Some say I am spoiled. Not true. I am just hyper-vigilant and you will all thank me
Me: Occasionally, I will bite into kibble and it'll make a big crunch. When this happens I run into the other room. It takes some coaxing to get me to come back. if I toot in my sleep I'll sit up abruptly and look around until I smell it and realized it was just me.
I must do these things. I can't be trusted