Foley Discovers a Genie Who Grants Her Three Wishes

I am not a water dog, but I do go to the beach. My favorite time is at dawn.  Everything is quiet. Just the gentle sound of the surf crashing to the shore.  I find it a great way to unwind.

Earlier this week I was taking a brief sabbatical at the beach.  I noticed what looked like a piece of glass in the tide. The sun glinted off of it.  Curious I walked to it and picked it up. It was a strange looking lantern from one of those Arabian tales of yore.

I could not find an opening.  Then I remembered the key was to rub it.  I tried with my paws, but nothing happened.  Then I rubbed it on my belly. I felt it begin to tremble and grow hot.  I put it on the beach.

Suddenly an Afghan hound appeared from inside the lamp.

“Hello there," the hound said.  Thank you for freeing me from my imprisonment. I will now grant you three wishes.”

Three wishes?  This was awesome. But I didn't need three wishes.  Angels only have one. To be back with their parents.  "I want to be with my mom," I gleefully pronounced.

"Excellent," the genie said.  "Let me see. Oh good, she's in her car.   This will be easy. Here comes a tanker truck I'll just have it skid into your mom, and she'll be here in a jiffy."

"Wait!", I shouted.  "I don't want her to die."

"How did you think she was going to get here?”

"I didn’t want her to come here at all.   I thought I would go to her."

"Oh, I see I see.  What a near cock up that was. The first day out of the bottle and I almost killed a woman.  When I go to geniepalozza, I will never live this down. So that's one wish off the board and on to your second.  Please correct me if I'm wrong, you want to be with your mom today, at her house?"
I told him that was correct and waited excitedly to see her.

"All right then, by my calculations you're going to be 18 years old, as senile as a honey bee in a wasp nest, have about ten minutes with her until you pass over again and break her heart.  All so you can get a little bit of lap time."

"Wait!  I don't want that."

"Oh for heaven's sakes," the hound exclaimed throwing his front legs in the air.  "It's what you said you wanted," he snapped. "You're down to one wish. Think about exactly what you want and say it.'

I took my time and planned carefully what I would wish for.  "I want to go back when I was five years old on my mommy's lap at her home and have another eight years with her until I go back to the Bridge."
"Splendid.  Let's see that's 2006.  New Orleans is still struggling to recover from Katrina.  It is the height of the Iraqi war. North Korea has just tested a nuclear weapon.  What a great time to go back and visit. Remember you must be careful. By sending you back in time, we could be rewriting history.  America could still be in Iraq. New Orleans could become one giant Disney theme park. North Korea could become a full member of the nuclear family.  Not to mention consequences to your family. Maybe your family doesn't get Pocket or River Song. Maybe because you did something your mother misses that mammogram that saved her life.  Do you realize if you pee in the wrong spot Donald Trump could be president."

"Donald Trump is president."

"My God, how many dogs peed in the wrong spot for that to happen?  You see now why it's vitally important that you think this through. Is going back worth dire consequences to the world and your family?"

I decided at that moment to set the genie free.  He thanked me and headed north for geniepalozza. I picked the lamp up and brought it home.  I put it on my mantel as a reminder that sometimes the best wishes are the ones that don't come true.