The Ruby Rose Report August 28, 2022

 

I had a few exciting developments occur this week.

I am a dog who loves a bone. When I arrived here, three fresh bones were waiting for me, two made of kangaroo and one ostrich; I felt terrible for gnawing on their remains. Knowing their fate must be why they hide in pouches and bury their heads in the sand.

My parents assumed that I have a tender bite since I am short of stature and slight of head. When my parents play the hand game with me, they slap their mitts on a surface, like the bed, and I try to catch their hands with my mouth. They encourage me not to bite, but I inevitably catch a finger. Because I never break the skin, it is assumed my jaw isn't powerful. They never consider that I am smart enough not to bite the hand that feeds me.

One night this week, I was chewing on an ostrich bone in the big bed. My Dad noticed I was chewing something, and he reached into my mouth and pulled out part of the bone the size of four half dollars stacked upon one another. Daddy said, "I couldn't believe that fit in her mouth.

"That's what she said," I responded, but it did not garner a reply.

At that moment, a decision was made for me without my input which was quite upsetting—no more natural bones with pieces that can break up. If you notice an uptick in the ostrich or kangaroo population, you can thank me.  

Luckily I loved wooden bones too. When I moved here, I was lucky to inherit my sisters' toys. My favorite is a Tweety Bird head I can throw in the air and chase. I also love a ratty toy with a fuzzy tail I got on my first vet trip. I love it, but I am worried about hair loss. When I chew it, the hair comes off in my teeth. Poor thing is suffering from rat pattern baldness.


The wooden bones were big, and I could barely hold them, so my parents ordered two smaller ones I took to immediately. After my natural bones were tossed away, I received a pack of three new wooden bones, more significant than the small ones, but I could still hold them. They are in different shapes to keep me from getting bored, and I play with them equally. I don't bogart bones.

So, I think I have my parents trained in giving treats, feeding me, letting me sleep in the big bid, and keeping me well-stocked in bones and toys. Next is leaving me home alone;  my sisters never trained them.

But my parents ain't seen nothing like me.