Dear Aunt Foley: Why is is still snowing? We can understand it snowing on Enzo’s mountain but why is it snowing here in Indiana? Is it ever going to stop? Your cold friends Boris and Minne.
Dear Boris and Minnie: I am very sorry for your problems and sorrier to report to you that there isn’t much I can do about it. Usually I take these issues to the Big Guy and he always has an open ear for me. Weather problems are the purview of Mother Nature and nobody likes to deal with Mother Nature. But for my good friends Boris and Max, accompanied by their siblings Tupper and Max we went down the valley so see Mother Nature and ask that she make it stop snowing. She whirled on us almost knocking all three of us on our tails.
“You are complaining about my weather?” she asked. “Who are you to complain about the weather? The wind, the snow, the rain, the cold, the heat, the sleet, they are all my children and they never ever call. You think just once they could pick up the phone and say: “Hi Mom, how are you?” But no they are all out running around, living their own lives, no time for Mom. You know where heat is now? Heat is at Disney! You think I got a postcard? No, I got a text.
A text! Who texts their parents? Cold, I have no idea what he is doing at all. I have glaciers melting in the Arctic, sea levels rising, and they are making it snow in the rust belt. I call them, and I know they see it’s me on their caller ID, but do they want to talk to Mom? No. And do they listen when I tell them all this screwing around with the temperature is runing my designs? No, they don’t care. I have stretch marks larger than the Grand Canyon from those kids and do they care? No. So leave me alone. I’ve got my own problems. And go call your mothers!”
So my friends all I can tell you is to stock up on the jackets and booties. It might be a long winter.