Friday, April 17, 2015

Aunt Foley: Update of the Escalator to Heaven

    I am going to change the format this week.  Instead of a question I am going to provide an update on our plans to remove the stairs at the Bridge with a modern conveyance.  

    I posted a poll for several angels and pups .  The result was that almost unanimous:  An escalator with a rest stop for refreshments, pampering, and sprucing up, was chosen to replace the old, crumbling stairs.   Enzo has all the parts and will be building it in his garage.  When the results became official I immediately regretted posting the question.

    As Judge of Rainbow Bridge District 7 one of my duties is to swear in the angels that cross the River of Life to immortality.   It usually take a dog five minutes to climb the steps.  When I proposed a modern conveyance to the Big Guy I had not anticipated the rest stop request.

    The problem is I am a very busy dog.  I don’t mind waiting in my robes while a recently passed dog climbs the stairs but the thought of me standing there impatiently while the same dog gets his or her hair curled, washed, and feasts on delectable treats burns me up.  I don’t mean to be insensitive but I could spend eternity (and that’s a mighty long time) waiting at the top of an escalator while the forbidden taste of bon bons are introduced to a dog’s pallet.

    So now I must ask for another addition to the plan. First, directly to Enzo:  Do you have an old horn lying around that garage?  If so, could you install in at the rest stop, so when the soon to be angel is done being pampered they could blow the horn to signal me to meet them at the top of the stairs so I don’t spend a freaking eternity waiting for the pampered pup to finish their first delectable box of chocolates?  And could the escalator committee agree  to modify the designs to include the horn?

    Also Tommy Tunes had a wonderful idea  For those who would like a quicker, and more exciting ride to the top, Tommy proposed a reverse water slide: Pups would sit on an innertub and an engine would pump water up the mountain to the top.  This would be great for water lovers.
   
    Any chance of a reverse water pump Enzo?

4 comments:

  1. Actually, we would like to close the door to the bridge so no one can go for awhile!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  2. Maybe you should welcome them BEFORE they get on the escalator.

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  3. Ditto Murphy. Recently the elevator has been too busy. Have a super Saturday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  4. OK...This is Angel Ladybug...This matter has been brought to my attention that there seems to be a problem with the arrival of dogs being sworn in by the JUDGE..It appears to me that THE JUDGE is impatient with having to wait, sometimes for long lengths of time for the swearing in, etc of each and every pup that arrives. So, I have another idea to address the planning committee with, that possibly there could be a certain time when each and every new resident of the BRIDGE could gather together at the Court House..Possibly on every Monday when there is a FULL MOON, between the hours of 8-Noon, raising their right paws and swearing..well.. whatever the JUDGE WANTS THEM TO SWEAR..This then would not take up so much time as Judge Foley is a very busy JUDGE...The swearing in ceremony could then be followed by refreshments, drinks, appetizers, etc and that evening a WELCOME PARTY ..You know me...that would be Angel Ladybug, has always been UP for the PARTY. Now the idea that Tommy Tunes came up with was a wonderful one..but I do know that many of our deceased furchildren are not water dogs and this could prove some anxiety among many of our new arrivals. And the Horn Idea is well......HMMM!!! Being that I am on this committee, we shall gather at the next meeting and make our final decision, as this project does need to move along as quickly as possible..other projects are waiting in the wings so I am told...

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