The Ruby Rose Report January 8, 2023

This week’s drama concerned my kong, which disappeared Tuesday.

My parents stay up later than most, usually getting in the big bed around 11:00. Two hours earlier, they have a snack, and I get a Kong stuffed with treats to keep me busy and to provide me with a significant amount of bed energy

I jump around between the chairs and the loveseat. I put the Kong in my mouth and dropped it, hoping a few treats would fall out. If I grow weary, I jump in the recliner I share with Momma and chew until I fall asleep.

When it was bedtime Mommy, per usual, looked for the Kong to wash it so it would be ready for me the next night. But, Kong could not be located. After several minutes of furious searching, it was decided it would best to curtail the search until morning. 

I don’t know if they figured my Kong had slipped out for a nightcap and would return by morning, but I didn’t argue. The bed is my favorite spot. I chew on toys and my bones until I am tired. If I ever encounter Mr. Bed, I must thank him for his most useful invention. 

After breakfast, my parents began searching for the missing Kong. First, all the furniture was flipped over to ensure it wasn’t hiding there; hands were jammed between cushions. The upshot? No Kong in the comfy furniture. 

Daddy is more mobile than Mommy, so he got on the floor and looked under all the tables and wooden chairs. Still, no Kong. And this raised a problem. There was nowhere else to look. They began looking in places it couldn’t possibly be. In drawers, the refrigerator, the trash, pocketbooks: No Kong. They went back to check where they had already checked—no Kong. 

This raised a serious issue. There was nowhere else to look. My parents looked at each other than at me.

“She couldn’t have.”

“It wouldn’t fit in her mouth.”

“Maybe she tore it up and swallowed it?”

“Her teeth aren’t strong enough to eat a hard cookie.”

“And if she ate it, she wouldn’t have eaten breakfast, I don’t think.”

“If she ate it, she would be dead.”

Then they looked at one another and me because it wasn’t anywhere.

I couldn’t have. 

Then they did something which always works when locating a lost item: They bought a new one from a big river in South America. That didn’t work, either.

They looked at me again.

Something became clear. They were not sitting down until they found it. I went to Mommy’s recliner and began to sniff. My Dad asked me if I found it, then opened the recliner.

As can be seen in this picture, there is an opening at the foot of the recliner. This is where I like to put the things I chew. I left it there when I fell asleep, and when Mommy stood up, she put the footrest down, and the cushions on either side of the divet came together, hiding the Kong.

When the hidden Kong was located, I was given many pets and scratches for being smart. Also, I got another Kong. For one brief shining moment was believed to be strong enough to rip apart a KOng.

If I had known how well hiding my Kong in the chair would work out, I would have done it long ago.