The Ruby Rose Report: Pukwudgies

 We got another Ruby Rose Report. Here is your copy.

When I moved north to my cherished forever home, I did not have all the information I needed before I made my decision. I would never pick another house, I love my parents, but I didn't know our home was in the lower left corner of the Bridgewater Triangle.

 It is the center of many paranormal events, including animals not native to the area, like panthers, Bigfoot, ghosts, poltergeists, pterodactyls (reported by a local police sergeant) space ships (seen by two local television reporters, and Pukwudgies, hairy, elf-sized creatures who spread mischief.

The State Hospital, where my parents walked Baby Pocket and Foley, was full of spirits, some of which could be seen in the windows of abandoned buildings if the sun hit them right. Foley was born with a third eye and could see mysterious creatures.

So have I.

I didn't know the strange little creature outside my window was a Puckwudgie. Nor did I know I was one of the few who could see him. He was having a grand time in our park knocking over trash cans, scratching cars, and howling along with the wind at night.d

When I barked at him, I was unaware that he was invisible but could be seen if someone stared for a long time, which would be caused by a persistent dog barking. The Puckwudgie told me to stop barking, which, as any parent knows, only makes a dog bark louder.

Then he cursed me, which I thought was funny. No one believes in curses.

The next day Daddy's iPhone died, and since he needed it for work, and was eligible for an upgrade. He got a new one. The helpful salesman said that the monthly bill would decrease significantly if Mommy got a new phone too, and they would get free phones. Daddy agreed. Then he was told he needed a recent case, cord, plug, and glass protector times two. Also, he had to pay more for this, that, and the other thing, and by the time he was done, he spent more money than a new phone was worth.

When Daddy got home, the refrigerator repairman was leaving. The verdict was the freezer was dead. Daddy went online, found one, and ordered it. Mommy asked what would happen with the old refrigerator, and Daddy called back and asked if they would remove it. Not only did they say no, but they were leaving the new one on the curb. With no way to get in, Daddy had to cancel the order, and Mommy won't let him buy anything on his own again.

I wondered about the curse when Mommy's IPad, her only link to the outside world, wouldn't start, and the apple icon kept flashing. So Daddy went to Best Buy and bought a new one, putting the weekend cost close to $4,000.

I knew the Pukwudgie's curse had taken hold, so I spent the night spinning around, spitting over my tail, and farting sideways, the only way to break a Pukwudgie curse.

Hopefully, the Pukwudgie has done its worse, and the curse is broken before so much money has been sent they need to cut back on dog food.

I will knife a Pukwidgie before I let that happen.