“Not today Timmy,” his mom yelled
It was just the ty of them in the house they dwelled
All day long just mother and son
How she wished she had a gun
Timmy was born an sort most ornery
His mom would to treat him like Goldfinger did Connery
“He’s not doing anything wrong he’s just all boy” his dad said
The stupid jerk who she wished was dead
She was going to have it all
Then at Junior Prom she and him did ball
“You need to drop out of school and care for the boy,”
His mother said sentencing her to a life without joy
She knew he was the devil child while in the womb
Every kick felt like the harbinger of doom
Upon his birth she tried to breast feed
He gummed her so hard for a week she did bleed
He was now four a most terrible age
He spit, her cried, he bellowed in rage
He had no off switch like the Energizer bunny
No baby sitter would take him no matter the money
The husband thought the boy could do no wrong
And told her he couldn’t wait until she could again fit into a thong
She hated them both and wanted to be free
She swore he wasn’t this bad when he was the terrible three
One day she could take him no more
She brought him downstairs and kick in the laundry door
She set him on a delicate washer cycle not wishing any harm
He cried wolf so many times his yells would not raise alarm
When he was washed she tried to stick him into the dryer
No one would jail her, she had nary a prior
But he kicked so hard he broke the drum
So to the outside she made him come
When the dad got home he heard the quiet
It usually was a low level riot
Upon finding her in the living room, feet up, drinking wine
She told him Timothy was drip drying on the lne
While Dad rushed out to save the little bastard
And Mom was sufficiently plastered
She called an Uber and left for good
She would now live life as she should
BOL, sounds like a good argument for birth control!
ReplyDeletelike goldfinger connery? that is an genius rhyme hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteOMD, I love this!
ReplyDeleteOMDs...this is hilarious
ReplyDeleteWhile Dad rushed out to save the little bastard
And Mom was sufficiently plastered.
Hugs Cecilia
That's a great poem. We are cracking up!
ReplyDeleteOh wow, the poetic muse struck hard this week!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I know there were lots of times I wished I could hang up my four kids on the clothes line like that!
ReplyDeleteOMG, that was a riot!
ReplyDelete