The Ruby Rose Report: Resting Sad Face

Like many other dogs, I suffer from SFS, otherwise known as 'sad face syndrome.' No matter how I feel, my face betrays me, signaling that I have a chronic case of the blues. Here is a picture of me after my parents came home, let me out of my crate, and made my favorite treats

I am delighted, filled with happiness, and almost giddy with joy. Now, here's another photo of me when I found out that I have to be crated all afternoon and my parents are leaving me behind.

This face is a problem.

I am upset in the second picture, but since I look the same as when I am happy, my parents think I am okay with being left. That makes me frustrated. Here is a picture of me feeling that way.

I look like Spock’s dog with resting Vulcan face.

I do have one other face.

When I have this face on people say: “Look at that happy little dog.”

I am not happy. I am stressed out from my walk, I am trying to cool down and look like I was just rescued after being in a hot car for a half hour.

Many fellow dogs suffer from this: When we are at our most tired, overheated, and stressed we look like we just walked in on our surprise birthday party.

Here is my “I just walked into my surprise birthday” face.

Overjoyed.

People do not respect the Resting Sad Face.

Sometimes, when I pass a human, they will say “Hey, little girl, what’s wrong, give me a smile.”

“I don’t feel like smiling but if a tree branch fell and crushed your skull, I might be able to perform a small pant,” I answered.

People say it is the lack of opposable thumbs that makes animals inferior to humans.

They are mistaken.

It is the lack of a middle finger, which I would have given to the jerk who wanted to me smile for his amusement.

You think we bark too much? Give us a middle finger and we will stand in the kitchen window and silently flip off every person, bird, and squirrel who comes in our yard.

And when you tell us you’re going to be gone for the day and put us in our crate don’t turn around because we will be flipping the bird until you come home.

For now, I leave you with a picture of me being the happiest I have ever felt

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