Sunday, May 3, 2009

The man next door vs. the determined squirrel

By Pocket:

I spent a good part of Friday with Foley sitting by the big windows by our deck watching the tall man who lives next-door battle out most troublesome enemies, the squirrel. The man was putting up his bird feeders. Foley and I have no quarrel with small birds, and as many of you know, we have a wonderful relationship with the neighborhood Canadian geese who we use to deliver our poop-on-you awards.

Before he put up his bird feeders he decided to make them squirrel proof. First he took used ups of sour cream and he cut a hole in them, and worked them down the trunk of the tree. Foley and I looked at one another skeptically. He did this several times. Then he had these plastic things, they looked like flying saucers, or maybe upside down birdbaths, and the put them on poles that he had stuck in the ground.

By the time he was done every tree either had a flying saucer or a upside down sour cream cup. Then he took a wire and strung it between two trees. Then he took barbed wire and attached it to the wire between the trees. Every time he did this he had to go up and down a ladder, up and down.

Finally he picked up the two feeders and hung in the middle of his line of barbed wire. He then stepped back with a self-satisfied look on his face admiring his work, which made our pretty back yard look like a place where aliens had landed to raid our sour cream farm.

He went inside and seconds later two squirrels came out of the woods and began pacing back and forth looking at the bird feeders. They stopped, pointed up, discussed the situation. They tried running up the trunks but we stymied by the sour cream cups and flying sauces. They got to the wire but were stopped by the sharp barbs. They went back on the ground and huddled to discuss the situation. For the first time in our lives Foley and I were rooting for the squirrels.

Then one of them got right underneath the feeder which was about four feet off the ground. He got up on his hind legs, shook his butt a little, and then took off like a rocket, grabbing a hold of the feeder with his claws, pulling himself up, and eating the feed and emptying the rest on the ground for his friend.

Our neighbor came out a short time later, hands on hips, one of those cartoon “fuming” things over his head. We are sure he will be back at work tomorrow trying to stop the squirrels. We think the entire situation will culminate on network TV when the Deustche Bank Open takes place down the road in Norton MA.

By that time our neighbor will have laid dynamite under the ground to stop the squirrels and he will set it off just as Tiger Woods shorts the winning putt by a quarter inch when the earth begins to shake and the ball falls into the hole causing Tiger to win Caddyshack style. And when you see that happen, think of Foley and I, and say well, their neighbor finally got that squirrel.

And then, seconds later, the squirrels will appear, jump on to the fielder, and eat all his food. Rock on squirrels, we have to chase you when we see you, but we’ll still root for you.

11 comments:

  1. HaHaHaHa, that is real funny. My mom gave up on trying to keep the squirrels out of the feeders a few summers ago. They are smart little critters, but I still love to chase them!

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  2. OMD that's ACME all over again.....Tom and Jerry have nothing on your neighbor...and for once...PAWS UP Squirrels!!

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  3. Oh, my dog. Thank you for your vivid play-by-play description! It was *almost* as good as being there. I would have been barking at the neighbor for being in his own yard. How do you two keep your cool? Hats off to you! This is SO setting up like a Wyle E. Coyote (Genius) vs. Road Runner scenario. Please keep us posted as I can't wait until your next installment!

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  4. You guys are so funny. I always love reading your journals. We have squirrels that come right up on our back porch and eat their nuts. They are very bold. Daisy didn't even notice them but Mollie sure does. I think she would really like to chase one. Love Daisy at the Bridge and Mollie

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  5. Wow this place is now just as great as DS since the Monster and Pocket live here. By the way, what's a squirrel?, we only gots wabbits, we luv wabbit kibble at our house, got wabbits too Foley Monster?

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  6. Loved this blog! You guys should be writers; you'd make lots of money! Thanks for this fun story and it's good to see you're keeping your spirits up. Love, Blazer & Mom

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  7. Ha ha, I would root for the squirrels too. what a d-bag the home owner seems. My mom has a theory if there is an atomic bomb and all creatures were destroyed, the only ones living would be squirrels, cock roaches and that jumping up and down Boston Terrier on DS.

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  8. I just noticed that my last journal was deleted, the one about Rising aboce it all- and it was a positive one too. I hate being censored, especially when it is positive! I can understand vulgar, nasty or hurtful stuff-but positive just because someone didn't like the subject matter??

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  9. That's an awful lot of work to go through just to keep the squirrels from the bird feeders. Maybe it's time for your neighbor to start enjoying the fine art of squirrel watching. -12, Chappy, and Whiskey

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  10. WOW what a lot of work that neighbor did! I bet that was so funny to watch the outcome! yeaaaaaaa the squirrels win again ;) great story at least you have some to watch we rarely see a squirrel close around our house due too the big dogs have them scared so they stay in the woods an look at us from there! hehe Have a great week!

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  11. All I could think of that whole story was Wylie Coyote trying to catch the Road Runner! We have a neighbor that combs every inch of his yard at night with a flashlight and a bb gun "squirrel" hunting. He's a bit of a crack pot - and he wears a robe without much under it and bends over alot. *shudder*

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