Monday, May 18, 2009

Pocket and the sinister Chihuahua

By Pocket

I’ve been doing my best, trying to do my business outside, being the best dog a Pocket can be. Today I went outside, got in position, when suddenly a Chihuahua came running right up to my nose and went “Rouff!” I was so startled my water backed into my bladder. I have a hard enough time peeing where I should, never mind with someone barking right into my nose. How rude. I looked at this little black thing, with some expensive bling around his neck, and I said: “Brooksie?” and it said “Brooksie? What’s a Brooksie? I fart in your general direction.”

Well, I come from a long line of Yorkshire Terriers, English royalty, and if there is one thing a proper English lady will not tolerate it’s a Spaniard farting in their general direction, especially after interrupting a proper pee, which is almost as insulting as farting during tea. I then stoked up my considerable courage and ran away. When I reached the end of the flexi leash I jerked back and crashed to the ground. “Look at you little dog,” the Chihuahua said, “all tangled on your leash, and look at me, free to run back and forth, I expel gas towards your hind quarters.”

Now I was blind with rage, or I had dirt in my eyes, anyway I wasn’t seeing too good. It was time for my most powerful move. I dug in then charged at the offending Chihuahua, got right up to it’s face, and then turned and ran back. When I reached the end of the leash I turned, ran right up to it again, and then turned and ran back. The Chihuahua looked at Daddy and said: “What the hell is her problem?” Daddy just shrugged. “I have no time for you, you offensive little dog,” it said. “Your mother, she lay with a commoner.”

He then ran towards his house and I ran right after him dragging Daddy behind me yelling at that Chihuahua to get back here, get back here right now, when it turned and came back here right now. I turned and ran as fast as I could. I glanced in my window and saw Foley on the couch wearing a sombrero and waving a pennant that said “Kid Chihuahua” and now I was mad. I turned and charged at it and this time it ran towards it’s house as I barked my most learned curses. He then turned and faced me and said “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” I peed right there on the grass.

A door to the house opened and the owner said: “There you are Paco come on inside.” Paco stopped, farted in my general direction, and went inside.

“Well, at least you peed,” Daddy said.

4 comments:

  1. BOL on Inigo Montoya! We're watching The Princess Bride as we speak--type... Mommy can play video karaoke with that movie. Anyway, I digress. I'm happy you survived your encounter, and shame on Foley for cheering on the opposition... Sisters are supposed to stick together! Poor little Pocket. Mom said if she could she'd pick you up and snuggle with you and defend you against the intruder of your property... You just keep on being royalty. You have more royal blood than all the cardboard Yorkies we know :)

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  2. Oh, you poor little thing! I'm gonna give Foley a good barking at for that. BARK! BARK!
    BARK! Foley, you quit teasing your poor little sister right now! The next time she has to go outside to pee, you go with her to protect her from that mean old chicuacua! That's what big sisters are for.

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  3. Pocket, boy did you get unlucky with that sister of yours. Maybe you need to use some of those moves on her!

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  4. Pocket, just come to my house and let the big dogs protect you.....we won't let no little mean chihuahua mess with little ol you.....Heck I feel sorry for any 'Princess' to come to OUR yard!!

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