Just as I suspected.
My balls are gone.
I imagine it happened during my vet appointment when I fell asleep.
The vet appointment you took me to.
Are you still going to continue to maintain the facade that you know nothing about what happened to my balls?
Do your parents have a memorial to their angels?
On Thursday I had a vet check up.
While I was being poked and prodded I realized I was nothing but the middle dog.
They talked like the appointment was about me, but it wasn’t. A vet checkup is to judge our parents.
I came to this realization while I was being weighed, and my parents were congratulated that I lost a pound, that I had no control over my weight. I am neither a hunter or a gatherer. I am an eater and a digester. If I was allowed to eat what I wanted, and not have to survive in the wild, I would weigh two hundred pounds.
“Are you giving heartworm medication?” my parents were asked, and the tech was told that they did.
“That is good,” the tech said.
Frankly, I wasn’t even aware I was taking any heartworm medication. It might be the special treat that I get once a month and tastes chalky, but I don’t mind. I lost a pound in a year. I am starving here!
Then they were asked about flea and tick medication, which I get sometimes, but since I am not out often they sometimes forget.
And the tech wrote sometime down on the pad.
Was their carelessness about flea and tick medication going to affect my chances at getting a squeaky toy when this ordeal was over.
Then came the doctor with her poking, prodding, and probing. She said my teeth, coat, and eyes were good. I was back in the running for the squeaky toy.
Then came the assault and battery.
I got a pinch in the leg, a poke in the butt, and puff in the nose.
It was the way Indians in the midwest greeted the settlers, which kept the white men east of the Mississippi until the winter when most of the women died and the Yankees crossed the river in search of living space and Indian strange.
Then after I had been violated in every hole I had my parents judgment was over, and they had passed, thanks to me keeping taut and healthy.
And I got a squeaky toy.
It is the least they could do after I made the humans look so good.
It’s Fill-In-Friday brought to us by our two hosts at 15andmeowing and Four-Legged Furballs. They give us four sentences with blanks for us to fill in. I filled, Ruby Rose, filled in the blanks to the best of my ability/
1. A day without pooping is like a cow without getting mi;led.
2. I find it rude when someone asks me who's a good girl, who's a good girl? Obviously. I’m the good girl and there is no need to belabor the point
3. I like to eat breakfast as early as possible. It increases the possibility my parent will forget and I will get the elusive second breakfast.
4. I tend to run late when try to do anything, so, I find the first warm lap and give up.
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Thomas had a dream he needed to act on
He wanted to drive for Amazon
To leave packages and be gone gone gone
He didn’t care if he had to deliver to Babylon
Thomas took the classes and graduated
And to take the hardest route he did not have to be persuaded
He had longed for a job where he would be appreciated
And he had a job that was not hated
He was not intimidated when a piano put on his truck
He would be able to deliver it with a little luck
Then he saw where he would have to deliver the piano and said “what the heck”
(Not really, but if I quoted him exactly from the Internet his blog would be struck)
The house sat on a hill higher than Everest
And the piano had no brakes so once he started he count not rest
Nut he was an Amazon driver and sworn to give his best
He began to push the package with the piano up the driveway: of his abilities, a true test
He got it up the driveway, parked iot, and paused to take a picture
When the piano began to roll away like Kramer’s rickshaw
He ran after the piano repeating the scriptures
When the piano wiped out the town gazebo he knew that a job at Amazon would not make him richer
Timothy realized the decision to be an Amazon driver had been rash
Pushing a piano up a hill was no way to make cash
He needed something that would not cause a gazebo crash
And took a food delivery job with Door Dash.
Are you allowed human food and if so what is your favorite?
Ruby'a answer: I don't get much but I love watermelon
When humans gather without pets, something we, the wiser of the species, know should be kept to a minimum, because very little good comes of it, they discuss how hard it is to watch over us and keep us from doing something foolish to hurt ourselves.
I have news for them, we pets, who must care for our humans, are much harder.
We both suffer the same hubris: We think we can do anything. For dogs it is running loose thinking we will find our way home, challenging a much larger dog, usually named Tyson, or thinking we can eat anything we want, from grass to rocks.
Men usually need watching when they think they can do something themselves instead of hiring a professional. There is a lot we have to do in these instances. We have to keep them from getting so frustrated they have a stroke, that they don’t use words not fit for HBO or burn down the house. When they get into the danger zone we have to nose our way into their work to make them stop. They are usually too oblivious to realize we are doing it for their benefit. Sometimes being a caretaker for a human is exhausting
Surprisingly, lately, my mom is the one I have to watch. Spring has finally arrived and Mommy is ready to work in her gardens.
She waits through the long, cold lonely winter for the chance to help the flowers shake off the cold and ice. But last year the arthritis in her knees and back stopped her from working. Despite this, she was determined to work in the gardens this week.
“It will just be a little weeding and spreading mulch,” she promised.#
I barked at her to stop as she began to bend over and pull up weeds. She seemed to be doing great.
And then came a thing called rigor mortis.
Her body had enough.
She made it to a chair, and brought me, in my stroller nearby so I could watch my dad put down long swarths of weed block and cover it with mulch. It was tiring watching him.
When he was done, and it was time to mow, he told us to go inside, which I was happy to do, and Mommy was reluctant, upset she could not do more
I am trying to get her to recognize it is time for her to take a supervisory position and let our daddy landscaper do everything but she is determined to try again, like a dog who eats grass, throws up on the comforter, and then eats grass again.
It is going to be a long summer trying to keep someone who uses a walker from doing the gardening she loves.
But if anyone can make her want to stay in a chair and snuggle with a dog it is me,
Angel Sammys and Teddys Pawetaton have provided us with another picture for Poetry Thursday
“Did you hear the news?”
A seal named Fred asked one called Cruz
Who responded “The news gives me the blues
It makes me sad and leaves me in a state of confuse."
Fred asked Cruz “Did you hear about the new Pope?
Such news fills us with hope”
Cruz answered that news of the Pope made him unable to cope
And when he was asked if he wanted to hear the story answered nope.
Fred asked “did you hear about Elon Musk?”
Cruz answered in a manner quite brusque
Cruz said “I don’t care about Elon Musk not in the morning not at dusk
The last news I consumed was about Dean Rusk.”
Fred asked: “DId you hear about the new Air Force One?
It comes from Qatar and is second to none.”
Cruz said he didn’t want to stop the fun
And it sounded more like a bribe than a gift from someone.
Fred asked “Did you see Jeanine Pirro is the AG from DC?
She used to be on FOx tv.”
Cruz said “that’s fine by me
As far as I am concerned she can set them all free.”
Fred told him Trump lifted the sanctions from Syria
Something that gave people diarrhea.
Cruz said he had an uncle who visited Korea
And came home with kimchi and a case of gonorrhea.
Fred decided Cruz could not be surprised
He couldn’t even get a rise
And realized ignoring the news would make it all highs
Instead of being something that makes us daily agonize.
You got ten seconds to tell me why my cousin Larry's picture on the bag or I am giving you a double fisted colonoscopy
Do you use anything that belonged to your predecessor?
I use the kitty condo that has been used by Foley, Pocket and River.
I woke up this morning and learned it was Mother’s Day.
Dogs don’t pay attention to the human calendar. There are a lot of words and numbers, but all we care about is that today is today.
Still, knowing it was a day to honor moms made me feel bad. I should have gotten something. But, Mommy told me, I give her more than anyone else could.
She said every morning I make her feel safe when she wakes up and I am snuggled against her. I help her fall asleep too by being in the same position so she can stroke me until she becomes sleepy. (In the interim I get out of bed and hit a couple of local bars. Little dogs do need to unwind. )
She said I never let her feel alone because I am always following her around.
Momma said she never feels alone because wherever she goes I am there.
Mommy said that she spent almost 30 years feeding humans but none of them have made her feel appreciative the way I have. I guess that takes away the tedium of meal time for her.
And there has never been a soul who has been happier to see her come home than her dogs. She doesn’t go out often now but I still make her feel like she just came home from war when she does.
I keep her lap warm, and when she is feeling down I pick her up with 1,000 kisses.
And she never feels alone and always feels loved.
I guess I do give her a lot and not just on Mother's Day but every day.
Because mom’s don't need cards, or gifts, just unconditional love and companionship.
And luckily for the non-working groups dogs it all all free
It's Fill in the Blank Friday, It is hosted by 15 and meowing. The original sentences are in black and my (Ruby's) fill ins
Today is Poetic Thursday hosted by our pals Teddy and Angel Sammy at
You bought a new coat?
Put it on the porch
An anchor for the boat?
Put it on the porch
You need the note I wrote?
I put it on the porch
You need the oats for the goat?
Look on the porch
In our house the closet is full
We can’t open the door no matter how much we pull
We have books stacked up on the window sill
The cabinets are so full opening the door could kill
Timmy could’t find his ball
It was lost on the porch
Sally lost her favorite doll
Somewhere on the porch
Martha wanted to make a call
But someone left the phone on the porch
Grandpa couldn’t find his alcohol
It was stored somewhere on the porch
It was so full no one could shut the window
Nothing to keep out the rain or snow
Nothing to stop when the wind does blow
Cold and wet was the status quo.
Sissy said she was cold and needed a blanket warm
But it was on the porch
Marty wanted an umbrella for the storm
But it was on the porch
Uncle Joe needed his drugs to perform
But could not find them on the porch
And no one had see Uncle Norm
Since he climbed out on the porch
Until one day the overstuffed porch fell
And the family belongings were scattered from heaven to hell
And now there is nothing left to tell
Because the family now had nothing but a hole in the wall where they did dwell,
When Larry's parents found him up late watching Cinemax the argument over his being neutered was effectively settled.
How many vets have your parents taken their pets in the last 25 years and if they left the practice?
You don't need to count emergency vets
Ruby's Answer
Norton Animal Hospital: Left because of long wait and chaotic waiting room.
Bridgewater Animal Hospital: Left because there were too many clientele and little personal attention.
Middleboro Animal Clinic: Great vet but he retired
Raynham Small Animal Clinic: Vet bragged about Millie Bush's vet, picked up Foley by her back legs to examine her, insisted on dental work which was booked eight months out.
Rayham Aniaml Hospital: The worst. My parents brought their three year old Papillon Jax to them. Jax was in terrible pain. The doctor said it was a pinched nerve. Three days later Jax went to the Bridge. A judge found the vet negligent but my parents lost on appeal to the lying jerkface.,
Dighton Animal Clinic: A very nice doctor but she only worked part time and at a hospital the rest of the time
Taunton Animal Hospital: Been then for eight years and so far are happy with the vet and staff
: Left because of long wait and chaotic waiting rooom
Bridfewa
Usually, when dogs are reunited at the Bridge, they happily greet one another, but when Zaphod passed this week, a month after his sister Lee, it was a terrible double blow for his beloved family.
When Zaphod crossed the Bridge Lee was not there to meet him. I knew she was aware because angels always are when it comes to family. Curious, as Zaphod walked away from his induction, I followed.
Lee was sitting on a green hill overlooking the river and didn’t move when Zaphod curled beside her and put his head on her back. They didn’t speak for several minutes until Lee said:” You were supposed to stay longer.”
Zaphod sighed, “You were too. The day when I found you, and you couldn’t move, it was the hardest day of my life.”
“Don’t remind me,” Hailey said.
“I never told you I was running out of heartbeats,” Zaphod said. “I made a deal with the Big Guy that I would leave for the Bridge when the snow melted in our yard.”
“It’s Canada, I thought I was at least good through early June, but the darn global warming changed all that.”
“I blame the tariffs.”
They fell silent again. “Do you think Mom is going to be okay?” Zaphod asked the senior angel.
“In time,” Lee said. “We are right, and for a while, we will be the first thing she thinks of when she wakes up, but someday we will be the second thing, then the third, and finally the fourth. Anything lower than that is disrespectful.”
“We will get her the perfect new dog,” Zaphod said.
“Yes, like you.”
Zaphod was taken aback. His sister had never said that. When Zaphod asked why she said that Hailey explained that she is now an angel, and angels don’t lie. “You were a stray, and because of your hard beginning you were so appreciative, and that shined through. You loved purely, and fiercely. Sure, you could have eaten less of your poop, or rabbit poop, or my poop, or strange poop, and rolled around less in poop, and smelled less like poop, but, outside of that you were perfect.”
Zaphod said Lee was perfect too, and meant it because he was now an angel and an angel tells the truth. Lee said thank you.
“I have a question,” Zaphod said after a pause.
“You want to know if there is poop here.”
“How did you know?”
“Wherever we go, you ask about poop,” Lee observed. “It wouldn’t be dog heaven without poop.”
Zaphod asked what they do now
“We wait and watch,” Lee said.
“For what?”
“For what comes next.”
“I don’t like waiting, or not knowing what is next,” Zaphod said.
“You won’t mind it here,” Lee told her brother.
And she was right. Zaphod lay down next to his sister, waiting for what came next, and watching over their parents, long after they become the fourth thing their parents think about because they are concentrating on the new dogs in their lives, wisely chosen by Zaphod and Lee.
Together again, now and forever.
Just as I suspected. My balls are gone. I imagine it happened during my vet appointment when I fell asleep. The vet appointment you took m...
