Poetry Thiursday

It is Thursday which means the Two Spoiled Cats have provided another photo to inspire our poetic muse

“Honey, the light is out” Mary told Tom

Tom got a bulb off the shelf

In despair Mary covered her mouth with her palm

Tom was going to replace the light himself

The light was high on a pole

And harder to reach than a Christmas tree star if you’re an elf

But Tom was determined not to pay someone to reach his goal

He would do it himself. 

He remembered he loaned out a ladder to cousin Stu’

Who probably took in with him when he moved across the sea to Delph

Loaning the ladder was something he knew he wouldn rue

But it wouldn’t stop him from doing the job himself

Mary looked out the window and saw him stacking tables

She asked what he was doing and he said building a shelf

To not yell at him took all the patience she was able

She was sure he would kill himself.

Tom still could not reach the light but from high up he could see his neighbor’s step ladder in his yard

Tom was able to bring it into his yard exhibiting great stealth.

With a ladder on the top of the tables reaching the light wasn’t hard.

Soon he would show his wife he could do it all by his self.

He climbed the ladder slowly

Then waved to his cousin Ralph

Which caused him to slip and fall through the tables like Mick Foley

And think he should not have tried to do it himself. 

Mary rushed outside to find her husband’s broken body 

Shocked at what he had done to himself

And even though she could match her husband in do it yourself work that is very shoddy

She decided to bury him herself. 

 

wordless wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

 

Burt suddenly awoke to the shocking realization that Deborah Kerr had been washed away by the tide

Monday Question

 Have your parents ever taken you to Petco or PetSmart?

Did you like it?

Have you ever been taken advantage of their veterinary services?

Ruby's Answer

I went once but didn't like the fuss and the other dogs.

Despite the savings my parents would rather take me to the vet office.

The Ruby Rose Report: The Triple D - Another Daddy DYI Disaster

 

Monday was an exciting and tense day, as it always is when Daddy takes on a do-it-yourself project.

    Daddy has trouble looking at a diagram and being able to repeat it. He has similar problems picturing how something should go together after reading directions. I am sure there is a -term for it: Back in the 70s it was called stupid.

We have a large bay window in the living room facing west. With no trees on that side of the house when the sun gets high in the western sky the living room turns into an oven. 

My Dad, when he was a child, liked at Christmas time, to open the Sears catalog and make a list of everything there he wanted. For him, many years later, Amazon has taken the place of the catalog and when Daddy sees something he wants he puts it on a wish list, and with one click he has it delivered not by Santa, but by overworked men in dark suits They don’t even get milk or cookies.

When looking through the Amazon catalog he found film, that can be put on the windows and block the sun from heating the house.

He ordered it right away.

I tried to bark at him that he should measure the windows but he was sure the film would be enough.

Like a virgin trying to get laid by watching Netflix with his girlfriend, the film wasn’t enough.

Daddy made one good choice before starting, he had Mommy read the directions, to cover for his two biggest weaknesses: Reading and understanding. 

Daddy measured the window then the film and wonder upon wonder it was too small.

We have two large flags on the porch, one of a Griffon, and one of a Yorkie. The Griffon one was, of course, sturdier, and Daddy suggested using it along with the film to block the bright sun. 

Thanks to Mommy’s careful reading and instructions Daddy was able to remove the blinds without knocking anything over. He was slightly stumped about peeling the backing off the film but got it done without using any HBO words. He found a sprayer deep under the bathroom sink where the wild things were and sprayed down the film. He filled a pot with soapy water, washed the windows, and put the film on. We were even able to put hooks above the window and hang the Griffon flag. He did so well.

Then he thought of securing the glad to the window with tape, but he put the tape on the film and almost brought the entire contraption down. 

He never should have done something not in the directions.

But, he was able to remove the tape without any HBO words.

It was all done with very little drama.

If you ask me it was darn disappointing.

Friday Friendly FIll Ins

 

Mar28

Friendly Friday Fill-Ins

Posted on March 28, 2025 by onespoiledcat

Standard

My parents are falling behind on their blogging but that is okay, because it gives me, Ruby the chance to participate in 15 and Meowing Friday Friendly Fill Ins  and give you a dog's perspective. My answers are in blue.

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1. I like to pretend I am a big ferocious pit bull who everyone is afraid of. I pretend this under a blank on my Mommy's lap.

2. Why anyone wants to on a text chain with Pete Hegseth  is beyond me.

3. I have a lot in common with Liza Minelli. We are strong independent women who fall to pieces if a bacon strip goes under the coach.

4. I tend to be optimistic about breakfast but pessimistic when it comes to dinner.

Poetry Thursday

 

It is Thursday which means the Two Spoiled Cats have provided another photo to inspire our poetic muse

Elon was born with two horns on his head

He covered them with a cap

So no one knew his shame

And know he was the product of his mom and the devil in bed

Elon, Elon likes his money

He makes a lot, they say

Spends his days selling

Electric cars that stall on the motorway

He was born a devil to Lucifer on a June day

When the New York Times said, "God is dead

And evil had won"

Oh, Beelzabub has a son today

And he shall be Elon

And he shall be a rich man

And he shall be Elon

In tradition with hell’s plan

And he shall be Elon

And he shall be a rich man

He shall be Elon

Elon fires hard working people without cause

Ruining people’s lives all day

He watches the news hoping to see them cry

And Donald loves everything Elon does

Until Elon gets more credit than him

Then Donald will do the firing

While Tesla, Tesla slowly dies

He was born a devil to Lucifer on a June day

When the New York Times said, "God is dead

And evil has won"

Oh, Beelzabub has a son today

Wordless Wednesday

 

Hh

Beat This Caption

 

The TSA's drug sniffing cats project was a failure. The cats kept curling up and going to sleep in the luggage

Monday Question

 Do you play with your parents and if so what is your favorite game?

Daddy is good at getting down all fours and we play pounce. I turn away pretending not to see him then I suddenly pounce and lick his face.

He knows I am going to pounce but he is still startled when I do it

Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Elsa and Hailey

After two major friend losses, at least on the mortal side,I have been rudimenting about pets and love.

We shine our love out to the universe like a beacon searching for a heart to accept it. When we find one it completes us. Finding a human to accept your love is difficult, and some people never find one. It must match another person perfectly and often is mistaken leading to heartache.

But pets are different. Their hearts are open to anyone who sends a beacon near it, which is why it's a crime so many of them go unloved in shelters. What the world needs now, is love sweet love, and it is located at the local shelter.

I have talked to many of the first dogs, those wolves who recognized a love beacon, and opened their hearts to it. Dogs were the first to love humans. At the time men and women used one another for the fully physical need for sex. Sometimes the man had a wolf dog, who accepted the woman’s love too, and neither wanted to leave the dog, so they stayed together, bound by their dogs.

They created a family, which is a tradition carried over throughout human life, and it is all thanks for the dogs (and later cats.)

Now, pets are little beacons of love in every loving home.

But there is nothing that burns a soul fiercer than enduring love. That is why pets lives are so short.

This month Elsa from the Tails Around the Ranch blog and Lee from the The Hailey and Zaphod blog# left their family, and friends, let their hearts be caught by the wind, and left many beacons of love, especially their parents.

Elsa was a loving and sweet dog. She began her life in the most unloving circumstances, as a mother dog at a puppy mill. The owner went to the Bridge, and Elsa was rescued. Every dog there had an abnormality, Elsa’s was epilepsy. She was adopted by the best possible family who made sure she took her meds and patiently waited for her to put aside the feral side and become a family pet. When she rediscovered her beacon of love she adored her parents, and they her, until her song ended.

Hailey had a long road to find her beam. She travelled from home to home, and from shelter to shelter, becoming more broken at each stop, until she was rescued from a kill shelter. She too found the perfect home with someone who patiently walked and trained her until, like all shelter dogs who become a family member, the parents were rewarded with all the love Hailey ever had. It would be neurological issues which drove Hailey from her home to the Bridge.

I know both sets of parents will miss the love they felt for these great dogs but when they look to the sky at night they will find that beam still shining from the Bridge down to their homes. 

The Ruby Rose Report: One Walk Two Views

Winter is gone and the time is right for me to go walking on the street.

I am like a tiny bear. I hibernate in the winter and only go outside for car rides. I have been counting the days when I can go for a walk, and with Daylight Savings Time upon us, it was time to resume my pre-supper walks.

I anxiously waited for my harness to be put on, and then led my parents out for a walk.

PARENTAL NOTE: “Ruby wanted no part in going for a walk. She kept putting her nose on the floor so we couldn’t put on the harness, and when we got it on and went to hook the leash, she hid under the kitchen table.”

RUBY’S RECOLLECTION: I was excited to smell all the pee mail I missed, and answer it.

PARENTAL NOTE: Ruby is more likely to pee on the summit of Mountain Denali McKinley than to pee on the grass in our little village. Sometimes, after long walks, she hurries to get home, because she has to pee and doesn't want to pee outside like a drunken Bostonian during the day of the St Patrick’s Day parade and all the other days too.

RUBY’S RECOLLECTION: I took my first deep dive at pee-mail on the grass across the street. I was fascinated and caught up on so much.

PARENTAL NOTE: Ruby sniffed for a few seconds and acted like someone who found Bill Reilly's book Busty Blondes at the library and quickly re-shelved it.

RUBY’S RECOLLECTION: From there I proudly walked the sweet streets of our 55 and over the community, which did not, as my Dad thought, refer to the speed limit.

PARENTAL NOTE: As we turned onto a side street Ruby, realizing she was at the furthest point away from home, stopped walking, and turned into a 15-pound turtle carrying a 20-pound boulder on its back.

RUBY’S RECOLLECTION: At one point my parents picked me up to snuggle with me to keep warm.

PARENTAL NOTE: Yeah, to keep warm, and also because people saw us dragging our little dog down the street we picked her up so we could end the walk and get on with our lives before the sunset. 

RUBY’S RECOLLECTION: Once I was put down I raced home triumphantly.

PARENTAL NOTE: She had to pee.

RUBY’S RECOLLECTION: It was a great walk.

PARENTAL NOTE: Walking and carrying a 15-pound dog is good for the core.

 

Poetry Thursday

It is Thursday which means the Two Spoiled Cats have provided another photo to inspire our poetic muse

My Aunt Sue marched to her own drum

Although my parents thought she was a scion

But the vapors had them overcome

When she married a lion

They met at a free the animals rally

She was the spokesperson and he represents the big cats

When they met there was no time to dilly or dally

They both thought the other was someone to look at

After the event they went for coffee

She had a mochachino and he intestines of antelope

The intimidated cafe owner said it was all free

And they immediately left to elope.

They drove to Vegas it took all night

And they made plans to get married by a fat Elvis

As the lion and my Aunt walked down the strip people quaked in fright

The wedding was perfect except when the lion bit Elvis in the pelvis

From there they went on the lamb

But they quickly caught

They had broken into a supermarket and the groom was eating the ham

And she planned to wait for him even if he went away for a lot

He was put back in the zoo in a locked cage

While she petitioned the governor for a conjugal

But he said in coitus they could not engage

So the lion had to get by with her substitute A stacked bengal

As the years passed Aunt Sue continued to visit every Sunday

And they shared a love like no other

Until Sue learned her lion husband was actually gay

And was in love with the bengal’s brother

 

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

 

Don't blame me,, if you're careless enough to leave your password on auto fill you end up with 1,000  laser pointers from Amazon

Monday Question

How do you react when a humans are emotional?

I will put my paws on them and if they allow me on them I will give soft licks and snugles. 

Foley’s Tails From Rainbow Bridge - Inseparable

 

No one knew the dog’s naagainme, not even its angels. To us, his name was “I wanna be with him.”

The dog was born on the street and clung close to his mom, a fellow street dog. She wanted what was best for her little one. The sad fact of being a dog is that what is best is often tragic.

As they slept, on a rainy night, under a discarded pool cover, her mom left the three pups because she knew they needed to find their people. Couldn’t do that with an old Momma Dog. She slipped away from them when a grey sun slowly rose in the east.

The three pups woke up and panicked that they could not find their mom. The trio decided to go in separate directions to look for her. Our guy sniffed up and down the street, but could not pick up here scent, or that of his siblings. He was alone.

Our guy was afraid of people but couldn’t survive without one. He had to find a person as broken as he was.

There was a thin man, who lived on the street and our guy watched him. When someone approached the man our guy jumped into action and scared the intruder off. The appreciative human gave the dog some bread. Slowly they began to trust one another. Soon they were traveling together.

Sometimes during their first year together being poor was outlawed in America and they became fugitives. 

Living on the street was dangerous, and one day our guy stopped on glass and sliced his paw. The man tried to stop the bleeding but could not. A vet was needed, and they cost money.

The man sold everything he had, cashed in bottles, begged in the middle of busy traffic, and didn’t react when people tried to hit him swore at him, or threw coffee at him.

When he had enough money the man took his dog to the vet. He was told to wait in the foyer while the dog got stitches. Then, a tech came out, telling the man that the paw had to be kept clean, and a homeless man couldn’t do that so the vet was keeping the dog.

The man became angry. This dog was his best friend, they shared a soul and one could not resist without the other.

In a cage in the holding area, our guy began to howl “I wanna be with him, I wanna be with him.”

The man would not leave and the police were called. 99 times out of a hundred the man would be escorted out never to see his dog again. But his cop remembered seeing the homeless man and the dog together, and he was a dog lover, so their predicament touched his heart.

The cop talked to the vet and told him that, while his heart was in the right place, the l; aw was not and he could not keep the dog. Reluctantly the dog was released to the man, and they hurried into the dusk.

The cop never saw them . He often wondered what happened to the man and his dog. He hoped they were somewhere where being poor was not outlawed and they could hike the streets up in the sky.

 

The Ruby Rose Report: The Lost Hour

 

On Saturday night, I was happily sleeping in my bed when I got up to get a drink. The next thing I knew, I found myself on the kitchen floor, with a torn bag of Sizzlers scattered around me and crumbs surrounding me.

I quickly realized what had happened: time had jumped again, and I had lost an hour of my life.

I expected to be in terrible trouble, but my parents were preoccupied with their issues. My dad came inside wearing only his underwear, holding a penguin, while my mom was passed out in bed, clutching a bottle of tequila.

A lot can happen when you have an hour of your life stolen. We would have to wait until November to find out what we did, especially my dad, who had to put the angry penguin on the floor, only to have it bite him on the knee before waddling away.

I thought that would be the end of the drama for the weekend, but I was wrong.

The next morning, I was snuggled deep under the covers when I heard a loud squawk coming from the kitchen. I poked my head out and listened again.

I immediately knew what the squawking was about. The offended penguin had returned, accompanied by a marauding band of angry penguins seeking revenge for whatever my feather-obsessed father had done during that missing hour.

Mommy, who had 30 years of experience living with the Massachusetts bird man, told him to quell the squawking. Sadly, I had vowed to protect him, and when he walked into the kitchen, I dutifully followed.

When we reached the kitchen and didn’t see or smell any penguins, I hurried to the back of the couch to sit and shake with fear. It felt like enough to fend off a vengeful group of penguins, but they had made themselves invisible and masked their scents. Daddy was left to face them alone while I got on the back of the couch to shake.

Mommy, who had a Pocket full of experience with anxious dogs, sat with me, spoke softly, and rubbed my fur, which almost made the ordeal worthwhile.

Dad climbed onto a chair and took down an alarm that seemed to be an invisible penguin detector. He opened it and replaced the old battery with two new ones. My dad, who tends to measure once, cut ten times, and then blame the ruler and the saw, put the alarm back on the wall. Unfortunately, it squawked again, and he had to fix it a second time, which is a record for him.

The invading penguins finally retreated and there was peace in the house.

Please make sure when time leaps forward or back you replace the batteries in your anti-invisble penguin device.

You will thank me later. 

Poetry Thursday

 

It is time for another Poetry Thursday hosted by our friend the Two Spoiled Cats

Gary was 24 when he first opened the duffus store.

Having struck out as a male whore

The store had what every duffus could need and more

And for 40 years he managed keep open the door

Gary and his wife Eleanor had two kids although he wanted four

The kids, Cidric and Eva hated the summers working in the duffus store.

To them the work was a bore.

Eva dreamed of being a doctor while Cidric hoped to join the police corps.

When Gary and Eleanor was married their is one thing he swore

At 62 he would retire no matter the chore.And he planned to shut down the store he did adore.

Seeing Gary sad was not comfortable for Eleanor

He did love the store

So she approached her children and asked to take over something she knew they would abhor

She asked her children to keep the store open for the husband she did adore.

The children could not say no to their mom who was their everything and more

And Gary was thrilled that they would take over the Duffus Store.

And on his last day they had a retirement party for him with duffuses galore

While his children stood with him hoping to fall into a trap door

While thinking about burning down this eyesore. 

They grabbed a bottle of vodka, they were both heavy pores

Both sure their futures were done for

Before he left Cidric asked his dad what was this all for?

His dad smiled and said “there is always money in the duffus store.”

Cedric asked “what do sell? What do we do? Tell me more”.

His father told him to supply everything the Duffuses yearned for.

On Monday morning the kids opened the store door

And within minutes in came 20 whores

And then rich duffuses ready to pay $1,000 to score

And the kids realized why there is always money in the duffus store.