Friday, May 31, 2013

The Start of K9 Kamp III

After intense contract negotiations I have agreed to come back for K-9 Kamp Three:  The Search for Rock (Hard Abs.)  At the age of five and looking, if I may say so, in fine form, there is no need for me to rejoin the kamp but my partner in K-9 Kamp Krime, my Daddy, is a fat horse of a different color.

I think Foley could use K-9 Kamp but she got a note excusing her.  It read:  “Dear K-9 Kamp director:  Foley will be unable to do K-9 Kamp again this year because she has a lactating patella, arthritis, and spends every day toning the most important muscle in her body, her tongue.  Signed Foley’s Mother.”

On the other hand I am glad that Foley is not joining us.  There are two main exercises that Daddy and I do.  One is the ball chasing.  Daddy throws the ball and I chase it, which is how I keep my fine form, but it does not give Daddy much exercise, except when he has to crawl on the ground to get the ball from under a hutch, or under the bed, or on a grate, or, well, really the list is too long to continue with.

The other is walking.  If we walk with Foley it is such a drag, and by this I mean that she digs in her little paws and won’t move.  You would be surprised how seven pounds of dead weight can bring a puffy, out of shape, full grown man to a halt.  

I am too wee a dog to go outside and play.  There are predatory birds flying overhead and Mommy worries that one of them is going to take me for a fly and drop.  So I am always on leash when I am outside.  So that leaves walking as our only activity.

We are lucky that we live in one of the best walking areas in the world, wide streets, a speed limit under 15 miles an hours, manicured lawns, and kind neighbors, even if they are, if healthy pruned, and if not, zombies.

Plus we don’t have to worry about ticks.  So our walking is a lot easier than other dogs walking, when they do it out in the woods, but I also have less things to smell.  My fellow dogs leave me tree mail, and I like to sniff it, but just once I would like to sniff an out of neighborhood dog.

So a walking we will go, over the sewers and far from the woods to someone else’s grandmother’s house we go, Daddy’s the one we’re going to have to weigh, and if Foley walks it will be slow.

Wish us lots of luck.

For more about K9 Kamp or to join follow the links here at Peggy's blog and here at Kol's Notes

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Kibble Wars

Pocket:  Every morning Foley and I fight over food.  I  savor my food while Foley sucks hers down like a Dustbuster.  When she is done with her food she moves to my plate and tries to steal my food.

Foley:  This is completely untrue.  (OK, I do eat like a Dustbuster.)  As every member of a pack will attest any time a dog leaves their food unattended it becomes free game for the rest of the members of the pack.  Once Pocket ignores her plate I should be able to dive in nose first.

Pocket:  This is not true.  A pack is built on love and trust.   If one member likes to walk around a little in the middle of the meal they should be entitled.

Foley:  A pack is built on hunger and need.  We are needed healthy to keep our pack strong.  To do so we need food.  If food is presented before us unattended we eat it to keep strong and keep the pack strong.

Pocket:  That is ridiculous.  You are just being selfish.

Foley:  No, you are leaving the food just to bait me so I will go after it.  Then you pop out and attack me when I follow my natural instinct.  I am at my weakest, because of my intense concentration on the food, allowing you to get the jump on me, but I soon recover and bite your a$$.

Pocket:  No way.  I am not baiting you.  I am just taking a break.  And when I do attack you it is because of my instinct to protect my food.  Then I bite your a$$ until you cry like a bi+ch.

Foley:  No suh!

Pocket:  No suh!

Foley and Pocket:  Mom!

Their Mom:  Now Pocket, you know you take a few steps away from your food to lure Foley over so you can pounce on her and get into a fight.  And Foley you know that Pocket does this because she has learned to become protective of her food since you always try to steal it.

Foley:  I would never do anything like that.

Pocket;  That is completely untrue.

Their Mom:  Then who is causing the fight that goes on at my feet each day during meal time?

(Foley and Pocket look at one another.)

Foley and Pocket:  Sum Other Dawg.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Kolchak and Felix are our May 26, 2013 Pups of the Week

It was way back in 2007.   I was eating my kibble and surfing the Internet.   I read a story about a new online network for (Get this!) dogs.  The writer was outraged but I was intrigued and the next day I signed up for DS.

The writer wondered what type of people would write, or enjoy reading, blogs written by humans from the point of view of their dogs.  The writer didn’t know the answer was the best humans.

I made lots of friends in those early days, and, when I got in trouble and bounced around the Internet, they followed me until we found the Promised Land of the Tanner Brigade where I stayed, and then found my way back to DS.  During my travels I have met over 1,000 dogs and watched many of them take the mocked art of writing a blog from their point of view of their and turn it into something very special.

Nearly six years since I started blogging it seems strange to meet a dog who doesn’t blog.  There is even a Disney show about a dog with a blog, who, if you are familiar with Disney and ABC, should be the first dog contestant on Dancing With the Stars next year.

Now one of these friends has been recognized for doing what was once ridiculed.  Kolchak and Felix were recognized at the latest Dog Blog conference (that is how much the phenomenon has grown, there is now a yearly conference) as having the best Bark to Bark blog

I cannot think of a more worthy winner.  If you have never checked out their wonderful blog I ask you to do so now, we will wait, just click this link.  (waiting music plays.)  You’re back?  Great.  See, we told you it was a wonderful blog.

The site is like walking into the world’s greatest pet boutique.  There are incredible treats that even my Mom can make, a place to play (K-9 Kamp), links to the coolest toys on the Internet, advice on the healthiest food, links for dog gear, funny stories and the best dog advice on the Internet.  Also there are lots of great games and prizes.  It the the most fun you can have on the Internet without having to lie about being older than 18.

While, of course, Kolchak and Felix are the creators and inspiration of the blog a lot of the credit must go to their typist, the irreplaceable Aunt Jodi Chick.
Our parents rely on her for so much information, our food, our digestion, our treats, everything to do with our health.  When someone posts a question she is there to answer, to help us, to keep us healthy.  Without her we would be at best lost, at worst not here.  She has given us dogs and our parents the best gift she could by extending our lives.

It was wonderful that one of our own was recognized in such a prestigious way by an independent organization, an even better that it was a truly selfless one who has given so much to our parents and to us.  A tip of the tail from all of us to Kolchak, Felix and their wonderful, giving, caring, smart Mom who we owe a part of our happy life to.

Thank you.  

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sum Other Dawg

There is no such thing as a home with only one dog.  And every home with multiple dogs has a member of the pack their parents have never met.  And these dogs all have the same name,  They are called:  “Sum Other Dawg,”

“Sum Other Dawg” is the one who gets us in all the trouble   He (or she, they can come in either sex, but the one in my house is a he so I will continue to refer to “Sum Other Dawg” as he) is also the best hider in the house.  He breaks a lamp, rips apart the couch, counter surfs, eats what he shouldn’t, pees and vicks everywhere, and perpetuates several other crimes and misdemeanors and when one of our parents walks in the room and discovers it “Sum Other Dawg” is gone.

“Who did this?” Mommy yells.

“Sum Other Dawg,” Pocket and I respond.  

“And where is this Sum Other Dawg?” she asks skeptically.

Pocket and I look around and our brother is gone.   We run around the house looking for him but once again he has hidden himself perfectly  And Pocket and I are forced to take the blame for what Sum Other Dawg did.

We don’t see him again for days.  Then we find him on Mommy’s recliner licking it over and over again until the fabric is all sticky.  Pocket and I bark at him to get down but he keeps licking.  Then Mommy comes out of the bathroom and we turn to tell her that “Sum Other Dawg” is licking her chair.  The barks come out of our mouths, we turn to show her “Sum Other Dawg” and once again he has disappeared;  Mommy starts yelling at us over the wet fabric, which we had nothing to do with.

The truth is, like most dogs I know, I hate “Sum Other Dawg.”  That guy gets me in so much trouble.  And while Mommy and Daddy say they don’t believe in “Sum Other Dawg” I know they do because when we poo on someone’s lawn and Daddy doesn’t have  bag, and the owner comes out to yell at Daddy because there is poo on his lawn Daddy answers it was done by “Sum Other Dawg.”  He gives the same answer when Pocket is barking during her work and Mommy asks Daddy if that was Pocket making all that noise.  “Nope, it was Sum Other Dawg.”

So I guess we are all stuck with “Sum Other Dog” living with us if it helps Mommy or Daddy stay out of trouble.  I just wish he would keep us out of trouble, but “Sum Other Dog” is like truth in government, he only surfaces when it is convenient for some human.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Leo and Butkus are our Mary 19, 2103 Pups of the Week

We live in America, a country where no one can agree on anything, gun control, birth control, Benghazi, the IRS, taxes, wars.  If someone is for something there is always someone against it.  But there is one thing that all  dogs and men can agree on.  Ticks suck.

This week two of our most favorite dogs in the world, Leo and Butkus, both got diagnosed with illnesses they acquired from these vicious little blood suckers.  Leo was at a scheduled vet visit when his Mom was shocked to learn that he had tested positive for Lime disease.  For Butkus the discovery of his illness was quite scary.

While Leo wasn’t showing any symptoms Butkus was, but, like many tick borne illnesses it wasn’t clear what the illness was.  He seemed lazier than usual.  But no one thought it was strange.  Then Butkus disappeared.  His family searched the yard.  Like lots of sick dogs Butkus had tried to hide from the pain he was feeling.  He got under the shed and then he became too painful to move.  Butkus’ human brother, who Butkus is very close to, dug under the shed and pulled Butkus until he was able to get him out.

Butkus and his pack live in the rural country so the nearest vet was 60 miles away.  There was no choice, Butkus is a member of the family, and when you are a member of the family there is no distance too far to travel.  When they got him to the vet they ran test after test and he was diagnosed with what boiled down to “tick fever.”  He was severely dehydrated and anemic.  Butkus got one of those shots that puts a huge hump on your back and he returned home.

His Mom picked up some antibiotics for him at her local pharmacy when they got home at 2:00 AM.  In a couple of days, thanks to the devotion of his brother, the doctors, and his devoted family Butkus is still with us.

For Leo he is left with an optimistic mystery.  There are a number of good things that came about because of his bad diagnosis.  Catching Lyme Disease early is very important.  Leo has been put on antibiotics so the chances of him developing symptoms of what Lyme Disease can do at its worse is slim.  We know his nervous Mom will look for any sign that he is either limping or having kidney problems, the two main effects of the disease, no matter how unlikely the possibility of these symptoms arising may be.   Plenty of pups have stepped up to say they too have been diagnosed with Lime Disease and are living healthy and normal lives.  Hopefully this has eased his Mom’s worry some.  

So I say let’s get rid of all the ticks.  Humans are always talking about eradicating the world of this or that but what about ticks?  OK.  They do some good things.  They are food for birds, spiders, nematodes, primates, the Bacillus Thuringiensis bacteria, and the deuteromycete fungi.  But outside of a few birds and the random monkey I don’t care if any of those things go hungry.  Also ticks act as a potent inhibitor of blood coagulation factor Xa.  Big deal.  So do band-aids.

But until we can figure out a way to get rid of ticks we can pray for those who become sick after being bitten by these terrible parasites and that starts with Leo and Butkus. 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Walk Solo

While Foley is doing better, she can run to the bedroom at bedtime (with me, playing defense, trying to block her with my snapping) and she can climb the stairs (if she is in the mood)  she is not the walker she used to be.  Once she does her business she gives Daddy her: “I want to go home now!” look.  Depending on where we are on the walk Daddy either picks her up and carries her until I have concluded my business or her brings Foley home and I get a solo walk.

Being walked alone is wicked cool.  I can sniff what I want, bark at what I want, spend as much time as I need reading tree mail.  When we duel walked Foley would stop because she needed a rest or hurried me through my sniffing because the subject matter did not interest her, or became embroiled in some other senior dog’s tree mail that I was not interested in.  (“It took me so long to pee today.  And I was up three times during the night to pee.  I think it is going to rain on Thursday.  My lumbago is acting up.  Did you see Betty White on Fallon?.  She’s still got it going on.”)  Boring!

Once I am on my solo walk I find my inner swag.  My little tail rises a bit higher.  My head is up sniffing for whatever whafs by.  If I see something I begin to bark to my heart’s content without anyone like Foley telling me to shush (OK, Daddy does but we don’t listen to him.)

And when I see someone all the attention is mine.   There is some small talk from Daddy about how Foley’s knee is bothering her and then it is about me.  Of course I still run up to people and, when they start to show me attention, rush backwards in fear, but I am working on it.  I don’t have the little voice saying “that person is going to hurt you,” because that little voice belonged to Foley.

And I can do my business in peace.  Nothing is worse than when you are in position and your co-walker sees something, gets excited, and starts to pull.  The next thing you know you are being dragged across the grass leaving a poop trail.  If your parents don’t understand this then have someone put a leash on them, have them hold it while they are sitting on the toilet, then take off dragging them after you.  After this they will have some understanding of my plight.
I love my sister and I am sorry she is hurting but I am sure she will be feeling better by summer and joining me for walks again so I am going to enjoy this bit of fortune while I can.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Our Moms are the May 12, 2013 Pups of the Week

Humans don’t like being called a dog.  I don’t know why.  I think everyone who visits this site would agree that there are few things a human can be called that is better than a dog:  Loyal, unconditionally loving, warm, funny, all the fine attributes of a dog, all attributes a human should aspire to.

So, on this Sunday, when I usually write about special dogs, I acknowledge our Moms, because they are loyal, love us unconditionally, keep us warm, do funny things, feed us, keep us clean, clean up after us and keep us healthy.

I know when we go somewhere like Petco, or the dog park, we are usually too overcome with smells and other dogs to listen to anything more than the basic commands.   But if you do listen to our Moms you will find that what they talk about the most is us.   And they are usually gushing over how much we mean to them, how well behaved we are, or, if not, how our bad behavior is charming.  

If you ever doubt how much your Mom loves you then let something go wrong:  have a loose stool, develop a limp, don’t eat a treat, then sit back and watch.  They start out just a little concerned, then they convince themselves there is nothing wrong while constantly watching you, then you do something like trip or yawn and your Mom slowly starts to panic.  A few minutes later she is searching Barney Google who gives her a long list of terrible things that might be wrong with you.  After that she is fretting over you, hugging you, crying, praying, and making an appointment with the vet where she has to pay money she doesn’t have to find out that there is nothing wrong with you.  And then you think they would be angry at you for separating them from their money for no reason, but instead they cry and are relieved that we are all right.  

Everyone agrees that we give unconditional love but we get it in return.  We may get even more than we give.   Mommies may get upset with us for a short while when we do little things like have an accident, eat their dinner off the counter or destroy the couch, butt doesn’t last too long. But, if you are like me, and your Mommy stays out a long time, or feeds us late, o ir gives us a bath, you are a full snitzy dog for hours.

John Lennon wrote that the love you take is equal to the love you make, and I used  to think that was only true with dogs, that we got the same amount of love as we gave, but, it being Mother’s Day, and on Mother’s Day all good children think of their Mom,  I realized that Mom’s always give more love than they take even from us dogs who were put on this Earth to love them.

So this is for our Moms, the greatest people in the world, who never get back the love they make, although us little dogs certainly try as hard as we can. Bless you all.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Tattoo You by Pocket Dog

I have found while working for Foley as a legal aide has been fulfilling I have also discovered that she keeps most of the kibble.  Wanting to be able to add to the family coffers I have done what many humans are doing, scouring the Internet looking for job opportunities.  I found one in a story written about a dog salon in New York owned by celebrity dog groomer and upper class twit Jorge Bendersky.

Mr. Bendersky has found a way to separate fashion conscious pet lovers and their money.  He tattoos their  pooch.  Ouch!  When I contacted Mr Bendersky he told me:    "In the summer, they cut the dogs' hair short, so you've got to supplement the glamour. Having no hair is no excuse not to be glamorous,"

While I would hate to disagree with a New York based pooch stamping groomer I, like many of my pup friends, have summer cuts, even in winter, and consider it quite glamorous.  We have beautiful eyes, cute noses, and all different shapes and sizes of ears to supplement our glamour, which don’t need supplementing to start with.

But Mr, Bendersky is making money so there is a market for it and Foley has taught me where there is a market there is a will.  So instead of letting Mommies pick out tattoos for their babies based on what they think adds to their dogs glamour, I am going to pick out tattoos for my friends based on what they would pick, then I will upload myself to their houses and perform the tattoos myself.  Here is my list of my friends and the tattoos I have picked up for them.

Hattie Mae:  A hat worn by a Princess to the Royal Wedding so everyone will know what a Fashionista she is.

Brody:  I thought about food or something else he would eat but decided on a zipper on his belly so doctors can go in and remove whatever he has eaten.

Hobo Hudson:  A pair of reading glasses because he is an acclaimed author and to use to read when we change the background again.  

Emme:  A prison tattoo that says “Only God Can Judge Me.”  

Smoochy:  His Mom’s hand print.  

Chelsea:  A tattoo of Ashton on her butt so she can bite him without getting in trouble.

Leo:  His Mom’s drawing of him turned into a tattoo with a king’s crown on his head because he is a king.  

The Labbies:  A Wonder Woman tattoo for their Mom.

Lily:  A Sons of Anarchy tattoo to celebrate her love of motorcycles.  

Otis:  A tattoo that says “The Boss” so his visitors know who is in charge up in here (or there as the case may be.)
Tommy Tunes:  A camera because he does such beautiful camera work and he hates having his picture taken.  No one can take his picture if the camera is stuck on his skin.

Reese:  A big Reese’s Pieces on his back.  

Molly:  A Blue Buffalo logo with the word Mom on it.  Tashi:  A tattoo of PJ’s beautiful face so she never forgets the love of her life.  

Hannah Banana 2:  A delicious cookie so when our Mom looks at Hannah she remembers to buy us more treats.  

Orbi:  A video camera so he always has one on his walks.  

Willie:  A giant heart because no dog has a bigger one than him.  

Andy and Barney:  A telescope because they are always watching over our house at night.  

Enzo:  A paint brush so when he’s with his Mom he is always helping.

Meika:  The words “Stop sniffing” on her butt to remind Reese to stop sniffing until he gets fixed.   

Joey:  A Snoopy as Joe Cool cartoon because he is the new Joe Cool.

Molly:  A Downtown Abbey tattoo to help her if she gets writer’s block

Monday, May 6, 2013


We are sorry to say our friend PJ went to the Bridge this morning.  Thank you for all your prayers. 

Sunday, May 5, 2013

PJ is our May 5, 2013 Pup of the Week

I am not sure how many of you know my friend PJ but he, and his Mom, got some devastating news this week and they are in need of major prayers.  First let me tell you a little about him.  He is a beautiful dog who lives in Paignton South West in the United Kingdom.  He met his Mom when she was still a young girl.  He waited for her to get home from school each day, and they grew into adulthood together.  Since then he has become a big Momma’s boy.  

We have lots in common.  Pocket and I  live in Taunton Massachusetts which is named after a town called Taunton England which PJ has traveled to, so we have barked at each other about how lovely his Taunton is and how much our Taunton sucks.  Despite having a heart murmur and colitis PJ is a little ball of energy who never leaves his Mom’s side.

On Thursday we found out that PJ had a very bad day.  He kept collapsing and his Mom rushed him to the vet.  She sent out word to their friends that he  needed prayers.

The report came back that PJ had a large mass on his stomach.  Because of his heart murmur the doctors had to stabilize him before they could operate.  His good friend Reese asked us to take a moment, say a prayer and light a candle for PJ.
The doctors were worried that with his heart murmur PJ was a risky candidate for surgery.  They wanted to put him on a new heart tablet and wait a week for surgery but his condition worsened.  His doctors had no choice but to operate.         

When they operated they not only removed the large tumor but it had attached to his spleen so that had to be removed too.  A sample of the mass was sent to the lab and the long wait for the results began.  He was given pain relievers and the best advice a vet can give:  Lots of naps.  

On Sunday PJ perked up a bit.  He still has a little sickness from the sleepy medicine they gave him for the operation.  He was also a little stubborn about taking his pills but that’s a good sign, a stubborn dogs is a dog who still has a lot of fight in them.  Then he found some nice sun to lay in and enjoy the day.  

We pray that the test results come back negative for our little friend.  If it is the news we fear then we pray that the treatments are not too painful and most of all we pray that PJ is with us for many, many many more days to come because PJ and his Mom are two of the best friend a dog could have.       

God bless you PJ and may have give you thousands of more tomorrows.                                 


Wordless Wednesday