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Showing posts from July, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

A Few Things About My Breed by River Song

I know many of you are not be familiar with my breed.  Let me give you the description of a Brussels Griffon from the AKC and explain them in terms humans will understand. 1.  “The affectionate, charming and curious personality of the Brussels Griffon makes it a good companion dog.”  Affectionate:  I am going to lick your face.  A lot.  While I do this I am going to stand on your chest and I don’t really care how sensitive your chest area may be.  I also love to stick my tongue in your ear, nose, and, if you are not careful, any available orifice.  Charming:  As long as you count things like pooping in my crate, jumping on the table, jumping on the end table where the three orchards delicately stand, rolling on the grass while I should be walking, and picking up everything on the ground as charming, then I’m your dog.  Curious:  My little nose goes everywhere.  Trash cans, holes in the ground, under chairs, in your mouth, whereever there is a place I can stick my n

Cassie is Foley Monster's July 28, 2013 Pup of the Week

This week we lost two great friends in Cassie and Sandy.   They both deserve their own blog and I will be recognizing Cassie this week and Sandy next week.  Please, my friends, don’t let anymore dogs come to the Bridge for a long time.  We do have the room, but there is too much heartache in the world, and if the rate of puppies crossing the bridge does not decrease the world could die of a broken heart. When I got the call to go to the top of the Bridge again, I did so with a big sigh, always glad to see a friend, but knowing the pain of the departed.  I looked down the steps and saw it was my good friend Cassie.  I was shocked.  She had hid her illness from everyone, including me. Cassie was diagnosed with stomach cancer eight weeks ago.  Neither she, nor her Dad let on that she was sick.  I used to think that when my time came that I would be brave enough not to tell anyone, but that didn’t work out.  I really can’t understand how Cassie and her Dad were so

Wordless Wednesday

River's Chewing on a Bull's Penis Has Made Me Sick by Pocket

On Saturday Daddy came strolling in with a Petco bag.  River and I jumped down and ran to him anxious to see what treats he had bought.  First he pulled out two clear bottles with little nozzles protruding from them that resembled River’s receding teets. Daddy explained that is was a bottle that attached to the our crate’s front door.  It is filled with water and the teat part comes into the crate so we can get water.  Our parents decided they needed to provide water for us while crated but in their previous attempts a rather clumsy dog (me) would spill the water all over the crate.   The outside bottle was, what they called, rather insensitively “Pocket proof,” and, to add insult to injury, Daddy said the success of the product would depend on the intelligence of the dog to lick the teat and get water and they weren’t worried about River figuring it out they were worried about me. Unlike my sister I am a good girl, a lifelong virgin, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to

Saint is Foley Monster's July 21, 2013 Pup of the Week

This week I would like to recognize a pup who has one of those strange Mom’s who is not on social media.  So how did I come to know about this pup, named Saint?  Well first, as  Judge at Rainbow Bridge I am allowed to look into the river where I see everything that is going on with all good dogs below, and second the non social networking Mom is a friend of my Dad’s.  (This came as a shock to me too, I didn’t know Mommy or Daddy ever talked to actual people.) Anyway back to Saint.  He had recently come to live with his Mom.  Before that he was in a horrific situation.  His former parent had left him in a cage at a kennel for two weeks with no access to exercise.  At ten years of age being unable to move made his situation worse.  Soon he had gained weight and lost all sense of what it was like to be a family dog.   Then came the break of Saint’s life when his forever Mom found out about him, said she would take him, no questions asked, and soon, after a trip, a shave, and a n

Wordless Wednesday

River Song recounts her first night in her forever home

Well I must say I am fitting in nicely at my new home.  Foley is right, if you give these folk the big innocent eyes they are liable to let you do anything. After I arrived for Florida Mommy picked me up at my pup brother’s house.  My pup brother is owned by her groomer so the entire thing was a little incestious if you ask me.  I was introduced to my Mommy and right then I knew she was for me.  I climbed up on her shoulder and curled up, sighing that I was home. She took me outside and put me in a crate on the front seat then took me to the nearest Petco where we met a man who worked there.  He held me too and was very nice to me.  I got a new bed, some toys, a thunder shirt, food, and something called a Snoozer.  It is a car seat, a stroller, a backpack, and an outdoor crate.  Mommy was reluctant to get it but the guy in the store insisted and Mommy gave in.  She seems to “give in” to guys in stores a lot. We went home and I met Pocket who seemed nice but also a bit distant

Hans is Foley Monster's July 14, 2013 Pup of the Week

I am finding that being here at the Bridge is a little like being on the Twilight Zone.   One night, when I was on the Earthly side, I had all my friends over to my Leopard Skin Vagina Kitty Condo and we watched an episode where Jack Klugman was a pool shark who wanted to be the greatest of all time and ended up beating a ghost who had been considered the greatest, and now Jack Klugman was.  But, for the rest of eternity, whenever a bell rang, a weary Jack Klugman had to get up and answer the challenge of being the greatest of all time. Here at the Bridge, when a bell sounds, I have to wearily put on my robe and make my way to the top of the Bridge Stairs to see which one of my friends had broken their families’ hearts by having their time on Earth expire. My joy at seeing my friends is fractured by the pain I know their families are feeling. Lately, having had so many friends join me, I am growing reluctant to look down the Bridge.  On this day  I saw Hans slo

A River Runs Through My Life by Pocket

I think it is true of any pup who loses a sibling to the Bridge:  They have to go through a period of adjustment.  Mommy and Daddy were just busted after Foley left and it was up to me, with Foley’s coaching, to help them.  I am a modest, little dog but I do think I did a decent job.  I never made demands, I didn’t complain, I became the best me I could be. Foley told me she was interviewing for position of second dog but I assured her that it wasn’t necessary, the three of us were faring well, and had settled into a normal, functioning, if unexciting life. Then one afternoon, while Mommy was out, Daddy working, and I was relaxing in my crate, I heard water rushing, then the ground shook, the dam gave way, and a River burst through the door and has been running through my life ever since. I figured Foley would have sense enough to get another Yorkie, something smaller than me that I could intimidate with my five pounds and slowly mold into the dog I wanted her to be, like Foley

Wordless Wednesday

Ovaries? What are the good for? By River Song

One of the conversations Foley and I had while I was applying to become a member of the Monster pack and take her place on her Mommy’s bed was about ovaries.  She told me that she had always felt bad about her forlorn ovaries.  Let me tell you something sister:  Forlorn ovaries? Forget about it.  More like ovaries.....What are they good for? See I didn’t have mine cut out when I was a baby.  My birth Mom thought I was perfect, and wanted me to have a litter.  All this seemed fine by me.  She was a good Mommy and I wanted to pay her back.  One day I was just an innocent little girl playing with my toys and the next day I felt like a Kardashian at an NBA all star game.  Momma had to have some. I packed my bag ready to go down to the pier to wait for the pup Navy to come in when Mommy told me no, she had arranged for someone to come in a be my good time boy.  What was this?  The Russian Royal Family?  But then she told me he was some kind of stud.  Stud?  Hmmmm.  Thi