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Showing posts from June, 2010

Chappy is over June 27, 2010 pup of the week

A short time ago we made MacDougal our pup of the week when the brave little Cairn created a brand new line of defense for pups everywhere by shooting Vick out of her butt like a solider firing a Gatling Gun. Now our wonderful friend Chappy had improved on this idea. Our ears have many purposes. They help us know when Daddy is two miles away from coming home, when the pizza man is getting closer to our house, and to wiggle and turn so we look even more adorable. But Chappy had taken those cute ears and turned them into an offensive weapon. Stroke Chappy the wrong way and he could turn his head and leave a mysterious red gloop on your lap, and who wants that? And not only that but he made change too. As far as I can tell Chappy's plan is to squirt out the quarter, wait for some schmuck to come along and pick it up, and then cover them in red goop. Now we have a bit of a problem, we still don't know what the red gunk was. And we're concerned that whatever Chapp

The Tanner Brigade advances in the World Cup

In one of the greatest upsets in international sports history, a small band of dogs, known as the Tanner Brigade, have advanced to the knockout round of the World Cup where they will face the heavily favored footballers from Chile. But being underdogs is nothing new for the Brigade. While struggling to win each of their group games they also created controversy. "They're just a bunch of wankin' dogs," England's goaltender Robert Green, still frustrated at allowing a goal to Brigade midfielder Dr. Pocket, who, according to Green, illegally peed on the ball, causing the embattled goalkeep to refuse to touch it as it crossed the goal line. By far, the most impressive member of the Brigade team has been goalie Hurley, who learned his goal tending technique on the beaches of California chasing Frisbees. Strikers have tried to kick the ball high, low, and side to side but can not get the ball past the flying baby dog. In their game against Slovenia the European

Dr Pocket's Commencement Speech

Last week Pocket, having gained fame in her run for United States Senator, gave the commencement address at the Taunton K-9 Training Center where she received an honorary doctorate in house training. Here is the text of Pocket's speech: "Thank you Dean Wormer, various alumni, professors,SQUIRRELS (there was a long pause as Pocket chased the squirrel up the tree and then returned to the podium) and honored dignitaries. I am humbled that you asked me to speak before you today, and for allowing me to wear this wonderful cap and gown that covers my rather embarrassing diaper. I want all you dogs to leave herr today and begin to live your lives to the fullest, to enjoy every treat, to never leave a lap uncurled up in, to be the best dog you can possibly be. A dog is like a 17 year old pop star, she should never sleep alone. We always need a snuggle partner, be it either furry, skinned, or some freakish combination of the two. For you parents, if you do not have room in you

Grampa and the big misunderstanding

You know how leaky Pocket gets when she is excited. Well sometimes we have to put a diaper on her so she doesn’t go Gulf of Mexico all over the couch. Our grandbaby Kiley is just over three, and she too has potty issues. Kiley was over today and Daddy asked her: “What is five years old, has six legs, four eyes and wears two diapers? Kiley riding Pocket:” Kiley laughed so hard. It was funny because it was true. We've had Grandpa over a lot lately, of course. I'm now going to tell you one of my favorite Grandpa stories. There weren't any dogs there, but Mommy and Daddy love telling it, so I will repeat it. Nana had a big family. Lots of nieces. Now, let's see how to put this in dog terms. Mommy's family was Yellow Labs. But this one niece, she decided to marry a Chocolate Lab. And Mommy's family did not like Chocolate Labs at all, never mind one of them marrying into the family. I guess they don't like patches. So one of Nana's other nieces was getti

Ruger and Daddy are our June 20, 2010 Pups of the Week

It seems like someone has wanted to take a wrecking ball to our little brigade as spring bloomed. The weasels wanted our money. We met this challenge by raising more than twice as much we we needed. Then our beloved members started going to the bridge: Kenya, Pepsi, and some friends still entrapped in the Princess' castle. Holy gosh it even affected our humans as Mommies, Daddies, Grampies and Grannies all became ill or assigned to be our kibble bearers at the bridge. What we needed was good news, a rebirth if you will. As Pocket and I scoured the Internet in search of sunlight breaking over someones new day the blogs did not hold much promise. Then we switched to the photo page. "I have found it!" Dr. Pocket said (I should mention Pocket gave a commencement speech at f a local graduation and earned an honorary doctorate. I do not believe she has had any proper schoolin'.) "Ruger married his Mom!" "Ewweeee!" I said. "That&

Foley Monster live blogs her walk

Hi, Foley here. I just got into my Daddy's car and we are going over to the State Mental Institution for a walk. I've decided to do a live blog like some bloggers do at sporting events or awards shows. Are you ready? OK. Daddy is parking the car. Time for Pocket and me to speak up: "LET US OUT. LET US OUT. LET US OUT. LET US OUT. LET US OUT." Old cranky bones finally makes it over, opens the door and we're out, with Pocket in the lead. I'm doing my best to keep up with skinny butt. We make it over the to grass. We both squat down. OH the sweet release of pee. OK, time to switch up, she goes to mine, I go to hers, squat and pee again. Oh, it's on, pissing match! We go back to pee on our original source and OH NO some force is pulling us away. Wait, oh, it's Daddy. He is ruining all his fun but what does he know he pees indoosr?. OK, we're both walking on the cool green grass. It is humid out and I am already panting. Then we come to the pine tre

Pepsi is our June 13, 2010 pup of the week

I doubt very much that this will be very good, nor do justice to our most treasured friend, Pepsi the proud, loyal beagle who would not leave her beloved Mommy's side, but wasn't given the choice. Her ticket to the bridge arrived, and despite her many protests, she was forced to leave. We found out about her Mommy's tragedy this morning. We refer to it as her Mommy's tragedy because Pepsi is at the bridge. She is mourning the loss of her Mom, but she has so many friends there, and life is so simple, the air so sweet, the food so flavorful, the water so cold, and all pains gone, that, while she frets over her Mom, she is in a place where worries and woe are snuffed out as soon as they arise. But for those she left behind the pain grips our heart, water drips from our eyes and dog and Mom stick close together, today more than ever, enjoying and savoring the warmth of each other's body. As much pain as we are in, her Mom's pain must be unimaginable. Most

Pocket's secret exposed

One of my strengths is that no one in my house believes I am very smart. To perputrate this belief I tend to do stupid things: I lose my ball while chasing it; I push it under furniture and bark until someone gets it; I hide my toys under the couch; I lock myself in the back room and sit silently until someone finds me; I fall behind the couch. But all of this fits into my master plan. You see when everyone believes that you're challenged no one suspects you when things begin to be out of place or the house is not in the order Mommy likes. In our kitchen, under our sink, is where the kibble is kept. We are eating food Mommy makes and she only mixes in a bit of kibble so there is always plenty there. When Mommy and Daddy have supper Daddy always opens the cabinet door and gets us a cu[ of kibble to feed us as we beg for table scraps. During dinner Mommy looks into the kitchen and sees that the cabinet door is still open and tells Daddy he didn't shut it. Daddy proclai

My sweet Nana is a peace

My sweet Nana was laid to rest yesterday. Neither Pocket or I were able to attend the ceremonies. Pocket because she is a doofus, me because of some people's prejudices to dogs. It seems half the town poured through the doors of Silva Funeral Home to see her off. It made a very long day for Mommy and Daddy Tuesday but Mommy told me she was proud to be by his side. (I would have been too. I think I would have made a wonderful pall bearer, or at least pall sitter. I could have been like Snoopy on his house of Slim Pickens at the end of Dr. Strangelove.) Mommy and Daddy can fill you in on some of the particulars on their human book page. But Pocket and I would like to state how proud we are of our Brigade Members who were very well represented at the funeral. First Hobo's parents Bruny and Walter. The three of them sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers that touched my parents down to the very bottom of their souls. Plus, in the center of the pictures, was Miss Connie

Kolchak and Felix are our pups of the week for June 6, 2010

Whew! This week has sucked more than a runaway vacuum with an airplane engine installed. When the tide turns against us and the vacuum begins to run wild we need to seek the two basic nutrients of existence: food and laughter. This week Kolchak and Felix were kind enough to provide them for us. First, the Tanner Brigade leading scholars in the field of humor went to the canine library and found every pup related joke eve translated from bark to man. They then furiously edited them to present the first ever greatest blog of of dog humor. And now, if anyone wants to access it, they must join our Brigade, and we shall charge them through the snout for the privilege, then celebrate their contributions with much mead and grog. Or kibble and bits. It's up to you guys. Speaking of kibble and bits, if their contribution to our site was not enough, on the very next day, Kolchak and Felix were researching again. But no dusty lib

Foley's blog on Nana's song ending and a bad night

Hi friends. Another tough night for us. Mommy and Daddy went out around bed time and didn't come back until almost sun rise. I told Pocket it was because Nana's song was ending. But Nana stabilized over night and Daddy made the decision to end the vigil and let everyone try to get a few hours sleep. Nana's doctor called this morning to say she was still stable and not in pain. They have done everything they can medically do, except for an operation where they would remove her colon and Nana told the surgeon yesterday "To what end?" The C-diff infection she has been fighting since March finally got the upper hand and began to eat a holes through her intestines. When Mommy and Daddy got home last night Pocket and I were very worked up because they had been out so late and were giving off bad aura. They finally fell asleep, helped by my generous licks, even though they didn't seem to think so. Then, at 5:20, Mommy fell right out of bed. She hit her jaw on the end

Thank you Aunt Connie and Zoe Boe

We got a wonderful gift in the mail. Our Aunt Connie, Zoe Boe's Mom, sent us the original drawing of our profile picture of us dressed up like the Pupranos. She has also provided us with Foley dressed as the King of Pop, Foley eating and Pocket pooping. They take up a very prominent position in our dining room by the fish. They are the most prized art work in our house. If you haven't done so you should contact Aunt Connie about doing a picture. Last year Daddy hired her to do a picture of his Mommy and Papa. It was was wonderful and Nana's face beamed with joy. Poor Nana hasn't had much joy lately. She had something called a double bypass. Then her chest filled up with fluid. Then she had a hole put in her throat. Then that got better and she got an infection called C-Diff. The hospital, which did not do a very good job of it, called THE NEW BEDFORD REHABILITATION HOSPITAL, which we will not name, gave her the medicine she needed then decided she was cur