Monday, May 31, 2010

Minutes of the Tanner Brigade Monthly Meeting

Foley Monster (banging her gavel): Can we all please sit. Please sit.

Whiskey: I am sitting, you should only say sit once, that what the human trainers say.

Foley Monster: We all haven't had your training Whiskey, but everyone follow his example and sit. (The dogs all sit or lay down.) Now our secretary Hattie Mae will read the minutes of our last meeting.

Hattie Mae: Last month Foley reported on her meeting with the Ning weasels and we decided to raise money to keep our group together; plans were made for our first anniversary celebration, and I wore a smashing matching pink top and skirt with a tan cap.

Foley Monster: Hattie, I have told you that you do not have to tell us what you wore at the previous meeting.

Hattie Mae: It is the only interesting thing about our meetings.

Gracie: That's true.

Foley Monster: (banging gavel) You must respect my authority! Now, old business. I would like to thank you all for making the Tanner Brigade anniversary party a huge success. Everyone enjoyed the free Matilda rides, Zoe Boe's drawings, tearing apart the furniture with Ruger. It was a great time. There was also frisbee playing with Hurley and ball playing with our German Shepard dogs. Let's all give ourselves a big howl of applause.

Tanner Brigade: All howl.

Foley Monster: I also want to remind you that there are Bauser bandanas for sale, they go for a very reasonable price and no Brigade member should be without one. Now let's take a moment of silence to remember Cooper and Kenya and the other pups we have lost since our last meeting.

(All Silent)

Foley Monster: OK, now let's here from our committees. Speaking for the Pocket Persistent Peeing committee will be chair dog Zoe Boe.

Zoe Boe: While Pocket's peeing has grown less thanks to advice from Button's Mom Nadine she is still leaking in the house. We know her Mommy hates pee stains on her rug and makes her wear a diaper so we move that she get advice from Hattie Mae about some nice dresses to go over the diaper so she doesn't quite look so foolish.

Foley Monster: All for.

Group: Aye

Foley Monster: So moved. Now we shall hear from the tribute committee. Lily?

Lily: We have decided, to honor our friend Kenya, that one day a month we shall eat nothing but donuts and ice cream.

Honey Bear: But shouldn't we do something to honor Cooper?

Foley Monster: Two days of donuts and ice cream. All in favor?

Group: Aye!

Foley Monster: All right. Now, I don't know how many of you have watched the news but the humans have broken the Earth again. I have appointed our Gulf correspondent Hobo Hudson to do a report.

Hobo Hudson: It seems the humans put a big hole in the bottom of the ocean to get oil and then the machinery they used to get the oil blew up.

Pokey: Why would they cut a hole in the earth at the bottom of the ocean?

Bobo Hudson: Humans aren't like us, we could sleep outside in a pack and travel on paws but they need a heated or air conditioned house, need to get in their cars and go places, so they need this oil.

Clemente: That sounds dangerous. Shouldn't the government been regulating what was going on. I mean if we put a big hole in the ocean Foley would assign one of us to watch it.

Baron: As an older dog I can explain this because I have a lot of experience with humans. I will give you an example. You know how humans will toss us a ball, we get it and bring it back.

Group: Yes

Baron: Well, at the start, humans do that with one another. Then they get bored, so they pretend to bring it back, and when the paperwork comes in the other human signs that they've been bringing the ball back like a faithful dog. Then the other human stops showing up and the first human just keeps throwing the ball and filling out the papers. Then neither show up they just fill out the forms.

Chelsea: Why do humans do that?

Baron: They never learned to keep their eye on the ball.

Hobo Hudson: So, in short, the humans didn't pay attention to what was happening, and now there is a big hole in the earth, and animals are getting sick, and they need our help.

Foley Monster: Thank you Hobo, now let's hear from the big hole in the Earth committee.

Leo: Thank you Foley. The humans have been doing a bunch of stupid things with silly names to try and clog the hole and none of them have worked so we have come up with ideas of our own. There is the Newfie haircut: This is where we take Matilda's hair and we fill the hole with it. Then there is the Pocket block: This is where we take Pocket's diapers and fill the hole, we have a lot of hope for this one. Also we have the tennis ball slam: We all donate a tennis ball and slam it down the chute. Finally there is the quick Vick slip where we take all our vicks and slam them into the hole.

Foley Monster: All those in favor of fixing the hole put in the Earth by the humans say aye.

Group: Aye

Foley Monster: And now that we have fixed all the world's problems we can adjourn....oh Pocket. Clean up aisle five.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Kenya is our May 30, 2010 pup of the week

The Tanner Brigade is a little darker and a little colder this week as our Queen, Kenya, has left us, and left her family, to join the royal family at the bridge.

Kenya has done so much for us. She brought doughnut and ice cream eating into the mainstream. When our Mommy's and Daddy's stop now at Krispy Kreme or Mom and Pop Ice cream they look at us and they say, "well if it gave Kenya more time with her family, what can it hurt."

Oh, and her poor family, losing their second pup in a year. How painful. But Kenya and Krie and running together at the bridge, free and happy, together again, as things are supposed to be.

We know this has been a very hard and confusing week for you Kady. You were thrust upon the throne much faster than you anticipated. Your friend, confidant, and leader, is gone and I am sure you have a lot of questions about what to do now. Well the Brigade is here to help. Do not hesitate to ask one of us.

Kenya did us all proud over her final days in this realm. She kept her dignity even as her legs failed. She held true to our code, staying by her Mommy's and Daddy's side, comforting them through her illness. Even when his back end failed, which is usually a sign that the our train for the bridge has pulled into the station, she was more embarrassed and sorry for her Mom having to clean up then concerned about herself.

Kenya was a great dog. A great GSD. She was a good friend and an inspiration and will be missed by all. Her song here is over. Long and free may she run at the bridge.

And as we remember our Pup of the week Kenya on this Memorial Day lets take time to remember all the Brigade members who have crossed over in the past year, and send loving throughts to their families.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My name is Vincent and I am Lost

Hi. I want to thank Foley Monster for letting me use her blog. My name is Vincent. A few years ago I lived in Australia with this young boy named Walt and his father, who was that guy in the wheelchair on OZ, and was kind of a dick with Walt. Then something sad happened to Walt's Mom and his father wanted to take him to America.

So they put me in a crate and I got loaded in with the baggage on Oceanic Flight 816. Have any of you ever been in the baggage compartment of a plane? It's cold, it's dark, it's loud. Oh, and then the plane crashes.

Now that was some messed up Vick. I was trying to sleep despite the noise and cold and then wham we were headed down. My crate crashed into this giant foot on she shore (I can't make this up) and shattered and then I went running to try and find my boy.

I came upon this guy lying on the ground. I looked around, saw the plane, people being sucked into the engine, and I figured this dark haired loser could help. So I licked and barked until he woke up. Well, what a mistake that was. He started running around, bossing people around, and I decided to go explore until the humans stopped causing so much trouble

Well the first friend I made was this wonderful polar bear. We ran through the jungle together, played in the lake, cuddled with one another. Then one of those stupid humans showed up and shot him. Man. These people were so annoying.

Then I found my other friend. The smoke monster. This thing was so much fun. We would chase each other around the island, he would pick me up and carry me around, I would nip at his smoky tail. I spent most of my best times on that island with smoky. Of course he would smash the occasional guy against the rocks, but no one is perfect.

He led me to this wonderful village where these great guys lived. They had this Dharma dog food that was a little bland but still good. One of them fed me ice cream. I adored them. I decided I was going to go back to the beach, find my boy, and take him to these people.

I got there and his dick of a Dad is taking my boy away and the guy who stole all the milk bones on a raft. I frantically paddled out for them to come back barking, not because I wanted to go, but because I was trying to tell the stupid bastards that back at the village they had speed boats and submarines, so going out into the sea on a raft was just rash. No one understood me except for the Korean guy but he couldn't bark English. Finally I gave up, went back to the beach, and stood next to my new Mom Shannon.

She was OK even though she was hanging out with that creepy Iranian guy (um people, mysterious plane crash, Iranian guy, I'm not racial profiling but I'm sure that's the conclusion they jumped to on the news) but then she got shot by some Mexican chick without her proper papers so I immediately joined that Facebook group that supports that Arizona law. Hey, don't judge me, the bitch shot my Mom!

Well, I was done with these airplane people. They spent all this time trying to figure stuff out, over analyzing things, not just lying in the sun and enjoying life. I went to play with the smoke monster, then went back to the village and there was my boy.

Of all the time we spent on the island this was my favorite. My boy and I played all over the island, went swimming, we had a wonderful time. But then one day Daddy Dick shows up. He makes a deal to get us off the island, and while I would miss everyone it would be nice to get home. Now the good news is he shot the Mexican immigrant. But the bad news is when he any my boy took off I was playing with smokey and missed the boat. Plus he stuck us with the angry freckled lady, the dumb doctor, the Milk Bone stealer, and the fat guy who wouldn't share the bacon. Then they started weird polar bear cage sex and they had ruined my favorite village too, so I went out wandering.

I finally ended up with Rose, this wonderful black woman, and Bernard, her white dentist husband, and we built a shelter and I became their dog, sitting on our overlook on the beach, watching the humans trying to figure things out and just making them more confusing.

Other people came to the island, which is what we needed, more humans, God. And not one of them had a dog, not even a damn house cat, nothing. They came on this helicopter from this freighter without a single dog treat. And you know the humans, having to shoot at one another and getting so dramatic. Really. Then the freighter blew up, like we didn't see that coming. Then finally the annoying doctor and a some others finally left.

Then, I don't know, there was a loud sound that hurt my ears, and there was a bright light, and where I just peed, didn't smell like me any more. The bones I buried? (Yes they were humanb ut what did I care?) One day they would be there. The next not. It was so frustrating. Plus Mama Rose and Daddy Bernard began walking around without their tops on. Believe me that image is burned in my memory.

Then those foolish humans did something, I don't know what, and we got knocked back to where everything is familiar, except the bald guy who smelled like Ben Gay was now the smoke monster and he didn't have time to play with me. Typical. He wanted to play with the humans and leave the island. Fine with me. Like most American tourists they had ruined the place anyway. Just as long as they left me, Mommy Rose and Daddy Bernard alone. But then Daddy found the Scottish guy down the well.

I wanted to leave him there. There is nothing worse than a Scottish guy down a well. But Daddy needed to save him. So just when we thought we were out they sucked us back in. The bald guy came for the Scottish guy, Old Smokey threatened Mommy Rose, Scottish guy left, he got thrown down another well, the island began to fall apart, and we decided to go back inside our bamboo shelter because we figured however this thing turned out, it would be a big letdown, and we watched the Celebrity Apprentice. Two paws up to Brett.

I'm not sure what happened next, I know a plane left the island with some annoying people, and that Doctor guy I found a few years back was lying in the same field of bamboo. I laid down next to him. Just to watch him die.

Things weren't too bad after that. The fat guy seemed to be in charge and he gave me lots of dog food. The buggy eyed guy who played with me in the village was there too. We lived really good for a long time, then the fat dude told us it was time for our souls to pass over and we would all meet in a church. Then he looked down at me and said "Sorry dude, no dogs allowed."

No dogs allowed! I was on the damn flight! I woke the Doctor up to help him save those people. And I don't get to go. Except for Mommy Rose and Daddy Bernard I hated every one of those people. They crash landed on a desert island with a village, food, medicine, and all they wanted to do was get home. Whiny bunch of slope noses. I gave Mommy Rose and Daddy Bernard big puppy licks when they led me over the Bridge, and they promised they'd come back and spend time with me soon.

But from my spot at Rainbow Bridge I got to watch their lame reunion in the church and guess who wasn't there, my boy, his Dad, and that other black guy who original smokey smashed on the rocks. Seems like in this island heaven the only way black people were let in is if they were married to some white dentist. It's like that old Richard Pryor joke about the move Logan's Run: He said "I saw this movie about the future called Logan's Run and there weren't any (black people) in it. Guess you're all not planning on having us around."

So now I'm at the bridge, so is my boy, Mommy Rose and Daddy Bernard, and even that smoke monster and polar bear come by sometimes. We have a great time. I love it up here. Not that I didn't like my time on Earth but take the advice from a dog who has seen more than his share: You do not want to become Lost with humans.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The May 23 Tanner Brigade Pup of the week is the Tanner Brigade

Here's to us.

On the one year anniversary of our founding the state of our union has never been stronger. I know the President says this every year and then spends the next hour telling us why the state of the union sucks; our state of the union is wonderfully, beautifully, spectacularly strong.

Let's just look at what has gone on in the last few weeks.

The Ning Weasels cornered Foley and demanded $200.00. We thought we could raise the money, or at least come close, but thanks to some generous dogs, and one incredibly generous dog who does not want to be identified, we have raised close to twice as much, and with money coming in, we are probably going to be able to pay for two years. While other sites are folding up their tents, we are building cement homes to last for generations.

But it isn't just the generosity of the Brigade that has earned us this week's title. It has been a very difficult last few weeks for many of our members, and, as Mommy and I read all the supportive posts, me because I love to see what my friends are doing, and her because she has absolutely no life, we could not be more touched by the kindness and support shown.

We found out the terrible disease that Ms. Gina has. Like all good pup's Mom's she was most concerned about her love, Pepsi. You would think there wouldn't be much we could do, you know, so separated by miles, but simple words can carry so much weight, can do so much, and these simple words can lift people from the darkest holes. People have a lot to say about what the Internet age has meant, but I think it means the rebirth of the written word as a means to convey emotion, support, love, freedom. There was such great expression in the words written in past centuries and we lost that with phones, movies, television, and the decline in reading. Now it has returned, and while none of us our Dickens, we still can use words to do what they were created for: to convey love.

And sympathy. When our good friend Ms. Laura was tragically attacked by poor Cooper, lost a huge chunk of her forearm, had to go to the hospital, had to endure sweet Cooper being sent to the bridge, and facing lengthy, painful, hospital stays and operations, the Brigade rallied around her, instantly forgiving Cooper, while sending verbal bouquets of words towards her, arranged with sympathy, support, tears and love.

And when we posted the question if the attack had changed the mind of Brigade parents about rescuing a dog we learned how many rescues we have, and how much they have worked, with patience and love, to make these pups part of the family, and to help them forget the fear and torture that they endured before they found their forever home.

There are so many great members here I wish I could say something about all of them, but there are a few I would like to recognize. There is Erin, who makes our site look better than any other site on the web; the wonderful, wise, determined, diva Hattie Mae who never fails to raise a smile; the wit and wisdom of Lily; the wise advice of Hobo; Shiloh's space giving us a glimpse of our future; our clowns: Ruggie, Matilda, all the playful pups; the wonderful contests put on by Luca; the great, treasured art work of Zoe Boe's Mom Ms. Connie; The generosity of spirit of the wonderful Sandy and her pack; the beauty and grace of Baarney and Tabaatha; the dearest friendship of Cali and Hurley; the determination in the face of darkest times of Pepsi; the adventures and heartbreaks of Pokey Lunn; the sacrifice of the family for all of us of Buddy and his Washington pact; and the strength of our leader the great Tanner Bub.

I am sorry for those who I have forgotten, don't feel slighted, I could say something wonderful about all of you. I am like the person who just won the Oscar who is being played off and is leaving pups out. I just adore you all.

So raise your Foleytini's to our 20 foot painting of Tanner Bub in salute to our leader, to ourselves, to a great year, and many more great years in the future.

Thank you all

Thursday, May 20, 2010

In memory of Tanner Bub written May 22, 2009

This was written one year ago after Tanner passed to the bridge. For those who have not read it, or would like to do so again I have reprinted it below.

Hey there Tanner! Nice to see you. Can you stand up? Good dog. Where are we? That doesn’t matter, all that matters is where we are going. How do you feel? Good? I thought so. Wow, look at you run. Bet you haven’t run like that for years. Wooooaa! Watch the biting! You want to play chase? OK let’s go.

Oh, hold on, I’m out of breath. Whew. I know you can keep going. Yeah, I know, it feels like you’re a pup again. What’s wrong? Yeah. I know, you’re a smart dog. Yeah, it happened. Yeah, we’re going to the bridge. Oh don’t cry Tanner. I know how much you’re going to miss your Mom.

You want to sit for awhile? Sure. We have time. Let’s lay down in the shade over there. Isn’t this a beautiful tree? Don’t worry, just lay down with me. Nothing can hurt you here, it’s just a path that dogs travel heading to the bridge. You thinking about your Mom? Yeah, I’m sure she’s thinking about you.

I wish she could go with you too. But it’s not her time yet. She will be fine, it will take time, you’re going to leave a big hole in her heart, but she’ll be fine. She has Cocoa, and she may get another dog soon, you have to help her with that. Don’t worry you’ll know how. And Sophie is going to miss you too. Yes, I’m sure she didn’t marry you just for the kibble.

You want to get moving again, we got some friends waiting for us. Hey, come over here, sniff the tall grass, oh there are no ticks just come. You can smell all our friends who passed here, it’s nice isn’t it? What’s that sound? That’s the little frogs that live in the stream that runs under the bridge. They’re calling you home.

Let’s just walk my friend. What would I miss the most? Well, most things are there, but Mommy’s lap. I would miss that. And bothering Pocket. Hey, come here, taste these flowers. I know! They’re bacon flowers! Man this place has everything. Yeah, except for Mommy, I know.

Yup, I hear it. That’s the water, it all flows under the bridge. That stream, that’s our lives, just water under the bridge. And the stones in there, that’s our souls. You see how the water washes over the stones? If you break the stones open, inside, they’re dry. You know why? Because all that water can never penetrate your soul, it’s just water under the bridge.

What’s that? Oh no, Princess will never be here. No, she’s not a real dog. Man, we did a job on her didn’t we? I don’t know if you know but a bunch of us snuck back into Cyberland and did tributes to you. Man, the Tanner Brigade invaded, it was so sweet.

You know, everything that happened, it was because of you. I wanted to be here for you, this day, I wanted to be here. My letter to Princess was so I could be here, this day. And when she “unforchunately” said no, well, that’s when it all started. Now I have a blog, we have Doggyweb and The Tanner Brigade. It was all you. You changed lives for the better. Most dogs just do that for their families, but you Tanner you did it for so many. There really should be a statue of you somewhere. Too bad we pee on statues.

Well, here we are. That’s the bridge. No, it’s not very long, but spans a great distance. Oh Tanner Bub, don’t look back. It’s all behind you. Breathe in the air, it makes it all go away. It all fades, and all you remember is the love, the good times. Do you remember Princess? No? That’s good. She’s not worth remembering.

Look on the bridge. No, silly, that’s no bear. That’s Moses. He guards the bridge. He is waiting for you. And behind him, there is Fred, it is good to see him. And Daisy, and Buttons. Oh, those little dogs behind them those are some of my family members, Jax, Copper and Sky, they can’t wait to meet you.

OK pal. It’s time. Come here, give me a nuzzle. That’s a good boy. Gosh, I am going to miss you. We rocked it together didn’t we? They have computers up here, get on line anytime, my ears will be open. OK, now, scoot, across the bridge you go, and remember on this side, there are lots of dogs and humans who love you very much, and when it’s our time to cross the bridge, you’ll be the first face we’re looking for.

I’ll be checking on your Mom every day, I promise. We will all help her through this, we will. It will be hard, but we will. Now go, I’ll see you soon, I’ll see you in my dreams.

I watched him cross. He got a big lick from Moses, and then from Fred and Daisy. You know, there’s a lot of .pollen up there. My eyes got very misty. The last thing I saw was my friend, running and playing on the other side of the bridge, chasing a firefly with Moses. I turned for home, already missing my friend

"fly on my sweet angel,
fly on through the sky,
fly on my sweet angel,
forever I will be by your side"

Monday, May 17, 2010

Our lovely meeting with Ms. Nadine aka Buttons' Mom

From the desk of Pocket Dog:

Saturday night Mommy and Daddy sat in their chairs, and took that little thing they talk into. Daddy set it on the table and punched some numbers. Then Daddy began getting frustrated because he couldn't get something called the speaker phone to work. Then a voice came from it.

I listened intently for the word that all phone conversations are based on: pizza. But they didn't say that word, they said an even more mysterious word. They said Pocket.

That's me!

Oh crap! Did I finally push them too far? Were they calling the doggie catcher? I needed to pay close attention to this call, while still sitting on the couch keeping one eye open for a pizza guy because a dog never knows.

Well you will never guess who it was. It was Nadine, the famous author of "The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood" and holistic dog counselor, and mother to the famous Buttons. And get this, do you know what they were talking about?

That's right, me and my pee!

First Daddy got Foley to bark for her and Nadine got very excited actually hearing Foley. I don't know why she got excited. Frankly I find her barking annoying at best. Then she started calling my Daddy Boston Rob because she said he has an accent. I didn't notice that Daddy had an accent. Then again I didn't realize Boston Rob did either.

Then they got down to the reason for the conversation. Mommy had Daddy wanted to know if Ms. Nadine knew what to do about my persistent peeing. They have tried everything the books said. But they never tried anything her book said.

This is what she said about me. She said that I'm a nervous dog. Well, that was scary. Also I am an excitable pee-er. Make a note to yourself not to take me on a roller coaster. "Daddy, it's raining....yellow." When I'm playing ball with Dad I don't used my hold muscles. I try do my kegel exercises but Foley won't hold my paws.

Nadine said the other time I pee is when the situation changes. Like when Grey's Anatomy goes off for the year, I'll be pissing up a storm. She said that, if Mommy or Daddy leave the room, I get scared and I pee, and I do! Or when I am alone and can't find anyone I pee. Sometimes I get lost in the kitchen. I pee. I think I do it to leave a trail so they can find me.

She suggested several all natural remedies that are supposed to make me balanced, which I think is a waste of time because one thing I am good at is standing. She also talked about my diet, telling Mommy and Daddy how they can cook it up for me. It was a very good conversation. She said if we followed her advice I could live to be 22 years old.

Of course who wants a 22 year old who can't hold her pee?

But Mommy and Daddy wanted me to say that if you have some pet questions, and want answers, you probably won't get at the Doctor's Office, and some common sense ideas when it comes to pup health, contact her for a consultation. You won't be sorry.

Even though she didn't bring pizza.

Her profile was deleted by accident, but she is setting up a new Buttons page soon, so check it out, and tell her Boston Pocket said hey.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Pokey Lunn is our May 16 pup of the wek

We have never had a more difficult blog to write. I'm just a Yorkie, and I have a very tiny brain. I must choose my words carefully so I don't say the wrong thing. My heart is more full with words then my brain, and when the words come from my heart, they come in an uncontrollable rush.

Pokey is or pup of the week because he has suffered some unbearable losses this week, which I am sure you are all aware of. He lost his brother Cooper. He lost his beloved mother's companionship for several days, and today, with her home, he still must be very confused.

Our hearts have broken for sweet Miss Laura. She rescued Cooper in January. He instantly bonded with Pokey. They became best buds. Miss Laura shared their antics through videos, pictures, and delightful blogs. But inside of poor Cooper something was ticking.

We don't know why he turned on his Mom. Shiloh's Mom, who was lucky enough to see Pokey and Cooper happy together, says it is thought that Cooper had issues with having toys or food taken from him. A short time ago he began to snap at his Mom when she took what he considered his, and then on Wednesday, while she sat patting him, that poor dog's soul just got flung right out of him as all the pain and anger he had kept bottled up inside of him exploded outwards. When Miss Laura was attacked Cooper was far gone, all that was left was the bones, skin and fur he worse in this life, no more her dog then what's left of us after the dogtor gives us our shot and sends us to the Bridge.

Where did this begin? We will never know. All we have is holes filled with questions. The people who surrendered him, did they abuse him? Or did they rescue him from the abuser, found him to be aggressive but didn't tell the shelter in fear that the dog they loved, but could no longer abide, would be put down. Whatever caused Cooper to turn on his Mom, he caught it from the meanness in this world, that we try to shelter our loved ones from and keep from touching our fragile lives.

Now, here at the Tanner Brigade, I guess Pocket and I are the government. Now, if we were a human government, we'd have to investigate this. Each member could then speak, just like the humans, getting their five minutes of TV time saying nothing about something, and then we could pass a rule that this would never happen again, which would only make it harder for shelter dogs to be rescued. Thank God Pocket and I aren't organized enough to hold hearings to pass useless legislation that don't mean nothing and only hurt those they are trying to help.

I was reading my Mom's Facebook the other night, I have to keep my tabs on her, when I saw something posted by Miss Sherrie, Chase and Gucci's Mom, where she said, and I will paraphrase: "sometimes things go to vick." And that's what happened. Miss Laura adopted Cooper, doing the right thing; Pokey instantly loved him, doing the right thing; Cooper fit right in, doing the right thing; Miss Laura raised him up right, doing the right thing; and things turned to vick anyway. They say two wrongs don't make a right, but sometimes a hundred rights can still add up to a wrong.

So Pokey, all we can do is support you and your Mom, because what happens is like when a tornado hits your house, or your house gets flooded, or someone gets drunk and drives through you living room. It just happens.

Did you ever wonder why the largest donasour in the world had the brain the size of a pee? Because that's the way it is, and there's nothing anybody can do about it.

But if there is one thing that came from this, it's that a group of people on a computer can become a family, can feel joy, sadness, triumph and misery in the lives of people we've never met, never talked to, but care about as much as members of our own kin. We all love Laura, we love Pokey, and we look to the sky to send Cooper our love at the bridge. So if there is one thing good thing that has come of this, it has solidified us as a large, wireless family.

So, on this, one of our saddest days, we have to thank Miss Laura, and Pokey Lunn, our pup of the week, for strengthening our Brigade and our wireless family.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Some blogs down memory lane

I'm getting in some good road work this week. Daddy took us to the retirement village. I love it there. Everyone is so nice. And they drive 5 MPH so we don't have to be worried about getting runned over. Today he took us to the state mental institution. I was taking a Vick. Pocket kept pulling me wanting to go. Daddy said to him "Pocket stop acting like a dog."

While I was walking I began to think, how did we get here? I mean not the walk but how did we get to the Tanner Brigade. A lot of us remember the turbulent times that led us to our home, but others may not know the history. Then I membered that my blogs are like the written history of the Brigade.

But before I do this I just want to mention how overwhelmed I am at the support we have received, and how generous everyone has been. This is why the Tanner Brigade is the best website around. Basil King said "Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." Creating the Tanner Brigade was a bold move, and mighty forces have come to our aid. Bless us all.

And best of all, today, when Daddy got the mail, there was a new label in the mailbox put in by the mailman that said "Gay / Foley Monster / Pocket Dog." Wow, I'm really somebody.

When Doggyspace kicked out Tanner Bub and I began to raise a fuss, then got suspended, I began my own blog to explain to my many friends what had happened. You can read my first blog, published on May 3, 2009 here

It wasn't until this blog that we got thrown out of DS. We knew before we wrote it that we were history but we went with it anyway.

We celebrated all our friends at DS with what we thought would be a goodbye performance here

Our final historical blog is the epic court battle between Foley, Pocket and Princess here

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Pepsi is our May 9, 2010 Pup of the Week

Today is Mother's Day. There is nothing us pups love more in this world then our Moms. We have a Mom in trouble in our Brigade, and we want to lift her spirits, and to call attention to her very special beagle dog: Pepsi.

Poor Pepsi is confused this week. His Mom is sick. She is sad. She is trembling with fear. She is confused. Pepsi doesn't know what to do. But so many of us have Moms who have gone through what she's going through, and we're going to help her.

See Pepsi your Mom got a very bad illness and she is going to need lots of good medicine, lots of support from her friends, and lots and lots of love. That's where you come in, because there is nothing your Mom loves more than her Pepsi dog.

And we have no doubt that you will do your role perfectly, looking up at her with those big brown eyes filled with love, giving soft kisses on trembling hands, laying with her so she can touch your side, feel you softly breathing, and be comforted by your mere presence.

I know that you may have to spend time away from her for awhile, and boy is this scary, but your hearts will be connected the entire time, beating as one, over and over and over. She is confused about what to do with you, and she can count on our good advice, and that of our Moms in helping her make that decision.

Don't ever spend a night doubting if your Mommy loves you even when you might not see her for a bit. She loves you more than life itself.

And as for your Mom, this is an old story, we didn't write it, don't know who did, but it might help her see that she's not alone.

A man is walking down the street and falls in a hole. He sees a lawyer walk by and he yells out for help and the lawyer throws down a business card and tells him to call him in the morning and he will file a lawsuit. Then a doctor walks bu and he throws down a prescription and told him to take two pills and he will feel better. Then as friend walks by. The man calls out to his friend. The friend sees him and jumps in the hole. The first man says to his friend "What are you doing, now we're both stuck in this hole?" His friend says. "I know we are, but I've been here before, and I know the way out."

So when you snuggle up to your Mom tonight Pepsi let her know that you will never let her be alone, and with the Brigade behind her, she will never be alone.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Where Foley develops a plan to pay the Weasel

Do any of you know how many baths it takes to get weasel stink out off your fur? I don't think I have been dry for two days.

When I was bathing, I was talking with my sister concerning what to do about the Weasel's demands. This is what I decided. Pocket's an idiot.

I have many thoughts about how to proceed and sometimes I sit, and arrange them in nice rows, and study them. Other times they get all jumbled in my head and it hurts.

But, when I do get them lined up I see them like this.

We should enroll in the $20.00 plan, since our smart friends like Erin and Kolchak figured out how to embed the music player, we won't lose anything. We'll figure out how to do the videos, we have Erin, the ruler of the 'net on our side.

So how do we pay for it? I tried to get them to take Lily's Tanner bucks but they don't deal in cash, the weasels. I tried to arrange an all star tribute to the Tanner Brigade but I insisted on having Justin Beiber sing lead and it turns out he's such a diva. I tried a dog-a-thon but all I got paid with were kibbles.

So I went to talk to Mommy about it. She said that the best solution is the simplist solution, and nothing is easier then taking a nap, so we did. Then, we woke up, because Pocket started barking when she heard a butterfly flutter it's wings. Mommy said that she had thought hard during her nap, and that she could put the cost of the Brigade on her credit card.

I was very excited. Mommy would pay the whole freight for us. I was ready to bark to all my friends when Mommy said: "Hold it Charlie," and I wondered who the hell Charlie was. She told me that my friends would have to chip in $5.00 a year to help defray the cost, and I wonder what the hell defray the cost meant.

OK so here are the Final Foley Rules (unless you guys want to change them, you know, its up to you guy, I'll go along.)

Each member shall send a check to the address at the end of the blog. Exceptions are:

If you have more than one account for your dogs you only have to pay for one.

If your only page is for a dog who is now at the Bridge you do not have to pay. I know that once dogs pass to the bridge their owners stop by less, but those pages are the story of the final year of their life and I do not want to delete their pages, in other words I won't delete Ladybug's page or Morgan's page. If you have a dog at the bridge and are sharing that page with dogs who are still bopping around with us we would expect you to pay, or if you have a page for a dog at the bridge, and a page for your current dogs, you're expected to pay.

Now, if you can't pay there is another option. You need to let me know you can't pay. Then there are several scenarios that come into play.

You can ask a dog you are friends with to pay for you.

You can send everyone a message stating that you need a sponsor and see if anyone responds.

You can send me a message saying you need a sponsor and I can either send out a message saying that you need a sponsor, or, I could say a dog needs a sponsor, and not say your name, and see if anyone would like to anonmously sponsor you.

We do not want to delete any members who are active but are facing hard financial times so I am certain we can work something out. We will lose members though, but I believe they will only be inactive members. If you can't pay please don't just drop out. We don't want to lose anyone who wants to stay here.

I hope this balancs those of you who don't think it's fair that some pay and some don't, and those who can't pay and need to reach out for help. I am sorry to put you in the position to reach out for help but sometimes in life you have to ask for help and when you do great forces will come to your aid. We already have two members who have stepped up to pay for two others, and they did so without being asked, and wish to remain anonymous. This is what makes us a Brigade.

Our goal is to be able to raise the money for the year by July 1, 2010 so we can pay for the year. If you cannot pay by then you at least have to contact us to either ask for help or to ask for time.

We will keep you posted of the money as it comes in. If we get extra money then we won't need to start fund raising until later next year. Say we collect $300.00, we pay $200.00 for this year, then pay for the next five months with the extra money, and we won't start asking for money until November 2011. I hope this makes sense. My little head hurts.

I am still tinkering with the idea of giving credit by having a group of members sponsor a month. I would include those who were sponsored, but all that's for another day of thinking. Let me know what you paws this, and don't be afraid to say if you think it's sucks.

The last thing I want to be is a Princess.

If you would like to send a check you can make it out to Marsha Gay and send it to:

Foley Monster and Pocket Dog
96 Danforth Street
Taunton MA 02780

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Where Foley recounts her meeting with Ning the Weasel

Today I had my meeting with Ning the Weasel. I downloaded myself to a dark hole south of the town dump. I followed arrows constructed of fresh dung down the weasel hole. I couldn't breathe. The walls seemed closing in. Then the hole opened into a damp pit. Leaning up against a wall was Ning the Weasel.

"Dung?" he whispered holding out a fresh plate. I shook my head. "Please sit," he said, "we have much to discuss." I looked around but didn't see a chair. "The ground," Ning the Weasel said. I sat, the dirt cold and wet on my tail. He lit a cigarette and leaned back against the wall.

"So," he said. "I hear yuz got this little Brigade group and you need to pay for it." I nodded. "All right," he continued rubbing a dirty paw on his nose. "I'ze think we can do business here. Me, and my family, we're the Nings, and we offer some protection to groups like you so nothing unforchunit happens like your site gets deleted, kabish?"

"Gesundheit," I said.

"Cute," he said. "Us weasels hate cute." He took another drag of his cigarette. "So we got three plans. Now our first plan, this is called our Mini plan."

"My Mommy calls me Mini!" I said.

"I will slap you like Bette Davis holding a daiquiri," he snarled. "Now quiet. Under the mini plan it'll only cost you $2.95 a year."

"Oh I can pay that!" I said excitedly.

"Yeah well this is what you get. Yuz get to keep your little site, but yuz can only have 150 members, yuz can have your blogs, your forums, your photos, your videos, but you gots to upload them to You Tube and the videos you posted, they go away, you don't got them no more. Plus you gets no groups, no Yellow Labs or birthday clubs, and speakin' of birthdays, not more events neither. And no chat, you gotta pay to chat. Oh and all of your friend Erin's nice designs, they gotta go away too?"

"But I love all those things!" I say.

"Well you can't get much for $2.95 a month Tootsie Roll," he said sucking on his cigarette.

"What else you got?" I asked.

"We got this nice little plan for $19.95," he spit. "You get more bandwidth, more storage, more place to put your stuff, you know?"

I nodded.

"You get to keep all the stuff with the cheap plan, the blogs, be nice if you didn't clog it up with so much lame crap, but you get to keep it, the forums, your dumb ass questions of the week, your little pictures, the videos you already uploaded, but yuz got to yuz to you tube to upload from now on, you get your little chat, as many members as you want, your birthday events, your groups, your fancy laid out pages from Erin, all dat stuff."

"How about music?" I asked.

"No, no music, I don't like music," he hissed.

"But we love our music," I said.

"Well tooz bad. You wants your music you got to go with our $49.95 plan."

"49,95? We can't be affordin' that," I said.

"Hey, what can I say we're just business Weasels, you know. Plus you know, for $49.95 yuz got lots of other stuff."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well your the administer so you get language control, and more membership control, and more bandwidth, and API control."

"I don't even know what that means," I said.

He looked at me and laughed. "Ah neither do we, we're just business weasels and there are always dumb folk who want the best and are willing to pay for saying they have it."

"Well I like the second option but we want our music," I said.

"Well I want to be King Weasel but we all want somethin'," he said. "Of course you could just ignore out protection but one day you'll wake up and the Tanner Brigade won't be there if you know what I mean."

I knew what he meant, and I knew he was mean, but for once I didn't know what I could do but go back to my friends and get their opinion. "We through here?" the Weasel asked. I said we were. Then two weasels came in, grabbed me and whooshed me up the hole.

So this is where we are my friends, we could go for what would be a free site, because I'd pay the $3.00 but it wouldn't be very good, the $20.00, which is everything we have now, but we would have to use You Tube for our videos, and put them in either forum or blogs, and we don't get music. Or we could pay $50.00 to get little more than out music players.

So let me know what you think we should do, and feel free to leave a message for the weasels here.

And, if you would like to learn more about the plan, click here

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Honey Bear is our May 2 pup of the week

My Daddy likes to repeat a story by some guy named Bill Cosby. He would tell it after taking my human brother to all his sporting events. Mr. Cosby recounted how, as a father you buy all the equipment, you get up early to take him to practice and games, you play catch all night long, you work, you train, and your son makes it to the pros, and the first time he gets the camera on him, he says: "Thanks Mom!"

Most of us dogs are just like that, but this week, one of our Brigade members, stood up for their Daddy, and her brave actions have earned Honey Bear the title Pup of the Week.

This week Honey Bear posted a blog about her Daddy's illness and it has more big words then the dictionary. Let me break it down in every dog barks. Daddy got a stomach ache. Dogtors told him he might need some minor fixing. But instead he took some major fixing. I don't know what happened exactly but he had some Vick problems, and when you have Vick problems it hits the fan and gets over everyone and nobody likes that.

So with all this going on someone had to step up and take care of the house, which Honey Bear did whenever anyone came near (her Mom knew this from her barking when she came home) and then she did the most important task a pup can do, she took care of her worried and weary Mom.

Her Daddy is home now, and Honey Bear is still on guard, and acting as the Physician's Assistant while organizing and prayer chain and trying to keep her Mom's nerves under control because her Daddy is going to need another operation soon.

It sounds like a lot for one dog to do, but we know Honey Bear can do it, because she is our Tanner Brigade Pup of the Week.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Back on the chain gang

It's May, spring is here, all the disgusting refuse of winter has been swept away and now it's time for me to do my road work. Time for me to crap thunder and piss lightning. Time for me to get in fighting shape and lose the round mound of rebound I have become.

Now Mommy decided to get us a new leash. I've been on one of those flexy things most of my life. I love those things. You can walk, and then, if you see a squirrel of mass destruction you can just tear ass off at one of them critters.

So it's time for us to go out, and Daddy gets the leash, and it's one leash, that comes to a point, and then becomes two leashes. First he hooks me to it, then he hooks Pocket to it, and he begins taking us to the door, and I realize, holy Vick, I'm on a chain gang.

Now with the flexy leash we could go our own way, and the way I went was opposite of the way Pocket went, but now I can't get more than four paws away from her and that is way too close! We go out the door, she squats to pee (I know, amazing) and she goes on my piggy toes. I look up at Daddy and say: "This is working great Dad, thanks."

Then we start walking. Anytime she wants to stop and sniff, I have to stop and sniff, and she never stops and sniffs at anything interesting. Then, when I do find something interesting, she begins pulling on the leash to move. Then she stops to take a vick, and believe me, when she vicks, you want to get as far away as possible, but I'm chained to the lollipop.

Then when I take a vick she is right behind me, giving me no privacy, ready to chow down. Hey, look lady, when you go to the McDonald's drive thru they don't let you eat the Big Mac while it's still in the microwave.

So now I live with her, I sleep with her, and I'm chained too her each time we go out. Plus she walks really fast and I have to hurry to keep up with her. The whole thing is very disconcerting. I need to go lie on Mommy's lap.

Oh look, Pocket's there. Well back up to my solitary pillows.

But do not feel sorry for me. I am getting in shape. I am losing the round mound. And then I am dragging that little bitch up and down the street like a careless child with a worn rag dog.

Vengeance is mine sayeth the Monster.

Wordless Wednesday