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Showing posts from May, 2010

Minutes of the Tanner Brigade Monthly Meeting

Foley Monster (banging her gavel): Can we all please sit. Please sit. Whiskey: I am sitting, you should only say sit once, that what the human trainers say. Foley Monster: We all haven't had your training Whiskey, but everyone follow his example and sit. (The dogs all sit or lay down.) Now our secretary Hattie Mae will read the minutes of our last meeting. Hattie Mae: Last month Foley reported on her meeting with the Ning weasels and we decided to raise money to keep our group together; plans were made for our first anniversary celebration, and I wore a smashing matching pink top and skirt with a tan cap. Foley Monster: Hattie, I have told you that you do not have to tell us what you wore at the previous meeting. Hattie Mae: It is the only interesting thing about our meetings. Gracie: That's true. Foley Monster: (banging gavel) You must respect my authority! Now, old business. I would like to thank you all for making the Tanner Brigade anniversary par

Kenya is our May 30, 2010 pup of the week

The Tanner Brigade is a little darker and a little colder this week as our Queen, Kenya, has left us, and left her family, to join the royal family at the bridge. Kenya has done so much for us. She brought doughnut and ice cream eating into the mainstream. When our Mommy's and Daddy's stop now at Krispy Kreme or Mom and Pop Ice cream they look at us and they say, "well if it gave Kenya more time with her family, what can it hurt." Oh, and her poor family, losing their second pup in a year. How painful. But Kenya and Krie and running together at the bridge, free and happy, together again, as things are supposed to be. We know this has been a very hard and confusing week for you Kady. You were thrust upon the throne much faster than you anticipated. Your friend, confidant, and leader, is gone and I am sure you have a lot of questions about what to do now. Well the Brigade is here to help. Do not hesitate to ask one of us. Kenya did us all proud over h

My name is Vincent and I am Lost

Hi. I want to thank Foley Monster for letting me use her blog. My name is Vincent. A few years ago I lived in Australia with this young boy named Walt and his father, who was that guy in the wheelchair on OZ, and was kind of a dick with Walt. Then something sad happened to Walt's Mom and his father wanted to take him to America. So they put me in a crate and I got loaded in with the baggage on Oceanic Flight 816. Have any of you ever been in the baggage compartment of a plane? It's cold, it's dark, it's loud. Oh, and then the plane crashes. Now that was some messed up Vick. I was trying to sleep despite the noise and cold and then wham we were headed down. My crate crashed into this giant foot on she shore (I can't make this up) and shattered and then I went running to try and find my boy. I came upon this guy lying on the ground. I looked around, saw the plane, people being sucked into the engine, and I figured this dark haired loser could help. So

The May 23 Tanner Brigade Pup of the week is the Tanner Brigade

Here's to us. On the one year anniversary of our founding the state of our union has never been stronger. I know the President says this every year and then spends the next hour telling us why the state of the union sucks; our state of the union is wonderfully, beautifully, spectacularly strong. Let's just look at what has gone on in the last few weeks. The Ning Weasels cornered Foley and demanded $200.00. We thought we could raise the money, or at least come close, but thanks to some generous dogs, and one incredibly generous dog who does not want to be identified, we have raised close to twice as much, and with money coming in, we are probably going to be able to pay for two years. While other sites are folding up their tents, we are building cement homes to last for generations. But it isn't just the generosity of the Brigade that has earned us this week's title. It has been a very difficult last few weeks for many of our members, and, as Mommy and I read

In memory of Tanner Bub written May 22, 2009

This was written one year ago after Tanner passed to the bridge. For those who have not read it, or would like to do so again I have reprinted it below. Hey there Tanner! Nice to see you. Can you stand up? Good dog. Where are we? That doesn’t matter, all that matters is where we are going. How do you feel? Good? I thought so. Wow, look at you run. Bet you haven’t run like that for years. Wooooaa! Watch the biting! You want to play chase? OK let’s go. Oh, hold on, I’m out of breath. Whew. I know you can keep going. Yeah, I know, it feels like you’re a pup again. What’s wrong? Yeah. I know, you’re a smart dog. Yeah, it happened. Yeah, we’re going to the bridge. Oh don’t cry Tanner. I know how much you’re going to miss your Mom. You want to sit for awhile? Sure. We have time. Let’s lay down in the shade over there. Isn’t this a beautiful tree? Don’t worry, just lay down with me. Nothing can hurt you here, it’s just a path that dogs travel heading to the bridge. You thinking about

Our lovely meeting with Ms. Nadine aka Buttons' Mom

From the desk of Pocket Dog: Saturday night Mommy and Daddy sat in their chairs, and took that little thing they talk into. Daddy set it on the table and punched some numbers. Then Daddy began getting frustrated because he couldn't get something called the speaker phone to work. Then a voice came from it. I listened intently for the word that all phone conversations are based on: pizza. But they didn't say that word, they said an even more mysterious word. They said Pocket. That's me! Oh crap! Did I finally push them too far? Were they calling the doggie catcher? I needed to pay close attention to this call, while still sitting on the couch keeping one eye open for a pizza guy because a dog never knows. Well you will never guess who it was. It was Nadine, the famous author of "The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood" and holistic dog counselor, and mother to the famous Buttons. And get this, do you know what they were talking about? That's righ

Pokey Lunn is our May 16 pup of the wek

We have never had a more difficult blog to write. I'm just a Yorkie, and I have a very tiny brain. I must choose my words carefully so I don't say the wrong thing. My heart is more full with words then my brain, and when the words come from my heart, they come in an uncontrollable rush. Pokey is or pup of the week because he has suffered some unbearable losses this week, which I am sure you are all aware of. He lost his brother Cooper. He lost his beloved mother's companionship for several days, and today, with her home, he still must be very confused. Our hearts have broken for sweet Miss Laura. She rescued Cooper in January. He instantly bonded with Pokey. They became best buds. Miss Laura shared their antics through videos, pictures, and delightful blogs. But inside of poor Cooper something was ticking. We don't know why he turned on his Mom. Shiloh's Mom, who was lucky enough to see Pokey and Cooper happy together, says it is thought that Cooper had

Some blogs down memory lane

I'm getting in some good road work this week. Daddy took us to the retirement village. I love it there. Everyone is so nice. And they drive 5 MPH so we don't have to be worried about getting runned over. Today he took us to the state mental institution. I was taking a Vick. Pocket kept pulling me wanting to go. Daddy said to him "Pocket stop acting like a retar.....um....bad dog." While I was walking I began to think, how did we get here? I mean not the walk but how did we get to the Tanner Brigade. A lot of us remember the turbulent times that led us to our home, but others may not know the history. Then I membered that my blogs are like the written history of the Brigade. But before I do this I just want to mention how overwhelmed I am at the support we have received, and how generous everyone has been. This is why the Tanner Brigade is the best website around. Basil King said "Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." Creating the Ta

Pepsi is our May 9, 2010 Pup of the Week

Today is Mother's Day. There is nothing us pups love more in this world then our Moms. We have a Mom in trouble in our Brigade, and we want to lift her spirits, and to call attention to her very special beagle dog: Pepsi. Poor Pepsi is confused this week. His Mom is sick. She is sad. She is trembling with fear. She is confused. Pepsi doesn't know what to do. But so many of us have Moms who have gone through what she's going through, and we're going to help her. See Pepsi your Mom got a very bad illness and she is going to need lots of good medicine, lots of support from her friends, and lots and lots of love. That's where you come in, because there is nothing your Mom loves more than her Pepsi dog. And we have no doubt that you will do your role perfectly, looking up at her with those big brown eyes filled with love, giving soft kisses on trembling hands, laying with her so she can touch your side, feel you softly breathing, and be comforted by you

Where Foley develops a plan to pay the Weasel

Do any of you know how many baths it takes to get weasel stink out off your fur? I don't think I have been dry for two days. When I was bathing, I was talking with my sister concerning what to do about the Weasel's demands. This is what I decided. Pocket's an idiot. I have many thoughts about how to proceed and sometimes I sit, and arrange them in nice rows, and study them. Other times they get all jumbled in my head and it hurts. But, when I do get them lined up I see them like this. We should enroll in the $20.00 plan, since our smart friends like Erin and Kolchak figured out how to embed the music player, we won't lose anything. We'll figure out how to do the videos, we have Erin, the ruler of the 'net on our side. So how do we pay for it? I tried to get them to take Lily's Tanner bucks but they don't deal in cash, the weasels. I tried to arrange an all star tribute to the Tanner Brigade but I insisted on having Justin Beiber sing lead

Where Foley recounts her meeting with Ning the Weasel

Today I had my meeting with Ning the Weasel. I downloaded myself to a dark hole south of the town dump. I followed arrows constructed of fresh dung down the weasel hole. I couldn't breathe. The walls seemed closing in. Then the hole opened into a damp pit. Leaning up against a wall was Ning the Weasel. "Dung?" he whispered holding out a fresh plate. I shook my head. "Please sit," he said, "we have much to discuss." I looked around but didn't see a chair. "The ground," Ning the Weasel said. I sat, the dirt cold and wet on my tail. He lit a cigarette and leaned back against the wall. "So," he said. "I hear yuz got this little Brigade group and you need to pay for it." I nodded. "All right," he continued rubbing a dirty paw on his nose. "I'ze think we can do business here. Me, and my family, we're the Nings, and we offer some protection to groups like you so nothing unforchunit happen

Honey Bear is our May 2 pup of the week

My Daddy likes to repeat a story by some guy named Bill Cosby. He would tell it after taking my human brother to all his sporting events. Mr. Cosby recounted how, as a father you buy all the equipment, you get up early to take him to practice and games, you play catch all night long, you work, you train, and your son makes it to the pros, and the first time he gets the camera on him, he says: "Thanks Mom!" Most of us dogs are just like that, but this week, one of our Brigade members, stood up for their Daddy, and her brave actions have earned Honey Bear the title Pup of the Week. This week Honey Bear posted a blog about her Daddy's illness and it has more big words then the dictionary. Let me break it down in every dog barks. Daddy got a stomach ache. Dogtors told him he might need some minor fixing. But instead he took some major fixing. I don't know what happened exactly but he had some Vick problems, and when you have Vick problems it hits the fan and gets o

Back on the chain gang

It's May, spring is here, all the disgusting refuse of winter has been swept away and now it's time for me to do my road work. Time for me to crap thunder and piss lightning. Time for me to get in fighting shape and lose the round mound of rebound I have become. Now Mommy decided to get us a new leash. I've been on one of those flexy things most of my life. I love those things. You can walk, and then, if you see a squirrel of mass destruction you can just tear ass off at one of them critters. So it's time for us to go out, and Daddy gets the leash, and it's one leash, that comes to a point, and then becomes two leashes. First he hooks me to it, then he hooks Pocket to it, and he begins taking us to the door, and I realize, holy Vick, I'm on a chain gang. Now with the flexy leash we could go our own way, and the way I went was opposite of the way Pocket went, but now I can't get more than four paws away from her and that is way too close! We go out