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Showing posts from August, 2010

A darker than intended blog with a happy ending

With us here in the Monster House we work and work to reach a high, and within a few short minutes we are knocked low again. But like skyscrapers, rising up, floor by floor, we don't give up. Mommy finally got the irresistible condo across from the state mental institution ready to go on the market. Daddy went to the website of the retirement community we all wanted to live and under rules it says only one pet. Which is a problem because counting Daddy Mommy and I have two. So I immediately took the Yorkie by the horns: I rain this posting on Craig's List. "Looking for good home. One slightly under house trained, obsessive compulsive, attention deficit deficient, Yorkshire Terrier, who answers to either Pocket, or to OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU STOP BARKING BEFORE I HURL MYSELF OUT THE SECOND STORY WINDOW THROUGH THE CAR'S WINDSHIELD. We will take nothing, or pay the lowest bidder to have it removed." Then Mommy made me delete the post. OK humans

Sage is our August 29, 2010 put of the week

While the luckiest humans are the ones who get to live with wonderful dogs like us who comprise the Brigade I also know that being a pup parent can be a difficult duty. We do all carry with us in our mouths our own baggage of stress. Some of us bark; some poop; some chew; some pee; some dig; some bite; some are aggressive; some passive. But we never cause more stress then when we get sick. We don't mean to cause stress. Oh we mean to when we do all that other stuff. Sometimes we do it just out of spite. But not when we get sick. It's no picnic for us either. Our pup of the week, Sage, has been causing his Mom some unwarranted stress for quite some time, and he's been just sick about if - and just sick. Like a bomb blast it started with a tick. We all know ticks. They are tiny and live in tall grass, which we can't help sniffing because sometimes you never know when a friend is going to leave pee mail there. While we are innocently catching up on the news those bl

Of Slats and voices in the box

Hi gang. How is everybody doing? You remember how my Nana went to the Bridge and the Grand Pops fell down and hurt his Cock Ox bone? Well Daddy made an agreement with Grand Pops after Nana went to the bridge. They agreed that Grand Pops had one free fall. After that he was going to have to get a medical alert bracelet. This is really cool. When you fall down, you press a button, and it sends you help. I need to get a pee alert system for Pocket. When she needs to pee....well you get the idea. We all went to Grand Pops house when the package arrived from UPS: Underdog Postal Service. There were no packing peanuts. This was a huge disappointment. "Pocket take a note" I commanded as I was going to rectify this situation immediately but she had got her nose stuck on the postal tape. Daddy took control of the situation. He needed an electrical and phone outlets. He momentarily forgot that whenever he stepped foot in his parent's house he was transported b

Junior Johnson is our August 22, 2010 pup of the week

What a difficult time we had this week picking a Pup of the Week. Who to go with? There is Kady who is having her patience and love tested by a new blob. There is Otis who managed to save his life by swimming across the pool after a viscous squirrel pushed him in. There is Shiloh who traveled half way across the world and did an excellent job in an off leash competition. But there was one dog who's story had us on the edge of our tail all week long. Junior Johnson had something wrong with his ear. Now human ears are nothing compared to ours. Ours turn, they go up, down, they can be floppy or alert. Us dogs we literally wear our emotions in our ears. We can also hear things that you humans can't. You know when someone silently breaks wind and everyone blames everyone else and then you blame the dogs. Well we heard it humans, you're not fooling anyone. But do you know how hard it is to here something like that with an aural hematoma? When I heard that this

The Days of Our Lives

Let's see, when last we left you our Grandpoppy had fallen down in the shower, scooched himself up the stairs, and got himself dressed, He then waited for his friend Dr Croteau (it's French, Lollipop) to come and take him to the ER. When he was there he had so many x-rays that you could see more inside him then out. But they didn't find anything broken. Just lots of Art's Rice Est and hollow bones like the cheap ones Daddy buys at the dollar store. (And he calls those treats: Indeed.) Grandpops remembered Daddy's cell phone number and the Doctor called Daddy to tell him his pops had fallen down. He told him he would be bringing him home soon and Daddy should be there. But Daddy had not driven since his surgery, and Mommy wasn't home, so it looked like Foley Eanrhardt Jr. to the rescue. Daddy got all worked up about me steering and Pocket pushing the peddles. He called Mommy, who was getting her car inspected (I hoped they did something about that spri

Daddy's rising, Grandpop's falling, Mommy's napping

Wow, have we ever been busy lately. No lake vacations for these two pups. We've been working 24/7 trying to protect our family and our possessions. We have made Daddy a lot better. Dr Pocket refuses to write him a letter so he can go back to work. We like having his lap home. But he's going to a human doctor to get the letter. Grrrrr. On Wednesday Mommy went to "lunch" with the girls from work. When she got home she took a nap for two and a half hours. Mommy really loves her "lunch" with the girls, but her burps make me dizzy. When she was there a man came to fix her windshield. Pocket sat on the back of the couch to supervise. I went upstairs to lay in the sun. she must have done a good job because she barked a lot. Plus the windshield came out nice. Thursday we had the day off. Mommy took Daddy to the movies. They saw a movie called the Other Guys. I guess The Guys was sold out. We thought we would have a restful day on Friday but wow did that no

Reba, Logan and Dodger are our August 15, 2010 pups of the week

It seems we spend so much time writing Pups of the Week for friends who have either gone to the bridge, or are waiting to hear if their ticket is pending, it is a treat to write one for pups who have returned home. This week Reba, Dodger and Logan finally came home, to their Mom, and to the Brigade. (Please do not confuse our Brigade with the one on the silly show about abandoned humans in the pound, it's called Big Brother or something like that. We are filing papers to sue those abandoned humans for illegally seizing our intellectual property.) They left us under some mysterious circumstances. One of those human things. We missed them right away and pestered them to come home but there was much drama in their lives. Their Mommy was selling their house and moving down the coast to a new city called San Diego, which I have it on the best of authorities means "A whale's vagina." Moving a human to a new home is very complicated. You would think that it would b

When Daddies don't listen to their dog doctors

There is noting more frustrating to a doctor then when a patient won't follow their instructions. Somehow my Daddy figured out my plans for his operation, perhaps because I blogged them on the Internet, and he chickened out, deciding to go with a human doctor, which completely contradicts Darwin's survival of the species, which states mammals should not operate on their own kind, which is why there are no dog veterinarians. But Daddy decided to go with a human surgeon and I think he has regretted it ever since. Mommy drove him to the hospital and only almost hit one car. It wasn't her fault, that mail truck should not have been parked there and the mini van was going too fast. Anyway if they had an accident, they were headed for the hospital, which was a whole mile away. They got him to the hospital and had him sign screw up forms. I would not have had him do this. Screw up forms are what they have you sign in case they screw up. It says that you would be very

Maggie is our August 8. 2010 pup of the week with an assist from Ms. Laura and Pokey

Lots of times our Pup of the Week has as much to do with their Mom and family as it does with the pup, and this week is a perfect example. Yes our new friend Maggie deserves a lot of recognition. This poor kid has been through many tribulations in her short life. All she wanted was a good home. But the Rainbow Bridge angels looked down at this lollipop and decided they weren't satisfied with a good home, they wanted the best home. They set the wheels of fate in motion, and controlled circumstances long enough for the wonderful Ms. Laura and Maggie to meet We all know Ms. Laura's sad song. On New Year's Day she opened her heart and home to another sweet rescue, Cooper. But Cooper had things going on that no dog could understand. One night the silicon switch inside his head was turned to overload and he attacked his poor Mommy, sending him to the bridge and causing her to undergo months of painful recovery. No one would blame sweet Ms. Laura if she never rescued ano

MacDougal is our August 1, 2010 pup of the week

There is no predicting when hard times will come. There could be a bad snow storm that makes your roof collapse on Thanksgiving. A twister could hit the homestead on the Fourth of July and put your gas grill in the crik. On Christmas Day those sons of a bitches the Bumpuses could let their hounds loose, they could steal your turkey dinner, and you have to eat holiday dinner at the nearest Chinese restaurant. (This happens a lot, like every two hours on Christmas Day, according to the big truth telling machine in the middle of the living room that fills us in on so many human secrets.) And sometimes hard times comes on your birthday. Like our wonderfully special friend MacDougal. He just had a birthday last week. But it looked like there would be no party, no streamers, no hats, no balloons, no heffalumps jumping out of cakes. You see last year MacDougal's Daddy was called to the Bridge in the time around his birthday. I don't know why humans put so much emphasis o