Sunday, June 30, 2024

Foley Monster's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Jessie crosses

 



Dear reader, if you have perused my prose before, you will know what happens when a soul transitions to the Bridge to become immortal: At the moment the life cycle of their mortal body has expired, their soul flies to the nearest body of water, and it goes from waterway to waterway until it reaches the River of Life that runs under Rainbow Bridge. The soul is reborn when it climbs from the water, and after crossing the Bridge, it becomes an immortal angel.

Some dogs don’t want to cross over, grieving all they have lost, But, eventually, they all climb out of the river.

Jessie will always be a Jersey Shore girl. She spent many summer days swimming in the water there I think it was when she was the happiest. Hier mortal life. Others wander away to walk between two worlds as a troubled spirit.

Not that Jessie had many unhappy days,  especially after leaving the shelter and joining her mom’s Sandy, and dad’s Hobie’s pack. That is when she met Willie, who, for the time they were together taught her some important lessons: Love your pack, play hard, swim fast, and die hard. 

Willie showed Jessie how a proper dog does the latter, but fighting off cancer, and many other illnesses, and even losing a leg. But, each morning, when the Bridge angels arrived, Willie gave them the same answer: “Not today.”

You can only say that so many times and Willie said it more than any other dog I know, but the Bridge always wins. Willie was suffering in his quest to stay, so his parents helped him,

When the Bridge Angels came for Jessie, she gave the same answer:  “Not today.”

The Bridge Angels gave her a lot of reasons to accept their offer. She and a tumor on her spleen or her liver, which caused her discomfort until it burst, and her insides turned to fire. “Not today,” she said.

Her body was filled with so much fluid she could not breathe, but she could still say “not today.” She would still be saying it but her parents could not watch her suffer, so they said: “Today.”

There were hundreds of us, some of Jessie’s family members, some of her real-life friends, and some of her online ones, waiting for Jessie. Willie spotted her doing the backstroke and told her to get out, she needed to be sworn in.

But Jessie had never been able to resist the water, and she stayed happily swimming. Soon, I felt Willie brush by me. He jumped in the water and he began to splash around with her sister. Soon, the gathered angels joined them.

Another swearing-in ceremony has gone off the rails.

So, I did the only thing I could. I joined them in the water, where we played all night to dawn’s break. It was colder, and we were tired, so Jessie relented, and let me swear her in, both of us dripping on the grass. Then she followed Willie to her new home,

I feel sorry for the mortal slide, which has been lessened because Jessie joined us.

But for her friends here it has been a blessing. It is like eternity just became short.

Or at least more

Friday, June 28, 2024

The Ruby Rose Report: Nature Friday continued

They have lilies, they have hydrangeas

And a hundred-year-old rose bush

So now we have to get ourselves 

Back to the gardens


We will do Blake’s Garden, and River’s Garden today, since there is so much to show, and to do so in one week would be work, something I avoid.


Here are the dazzling Western Blue Virginsbower Clematis by the light pole

.

The Japanese spiraea in Blake’s garden has just started to bloom.

Pictures of Lily that make my life so wonderful

Pictures of Lily that let me sleep at night

Pictures of Lily that solved my childhood problem

Pictures of Lily, they make me feel alright

The hydrangea is just starting to bloom.

I will be back next week with Foley’s Garden, Pocket’s Garden, and my garden 

Thursday, June 27, 2024

Poetry Thursday


It is time for another installment of Poetry corner with out hosts Angel Sammy and Teddy.

They provided for photo below to inspire our poerty



Help me, help me, help me, find my Mommy

Oh please help me, I am so lonely

All I can see is pants, and ill fitting shoes

I am lost bad, all alone, and I have the blues


We came downtown to do some shopping, 

And ice cream parlor hoping

I held on to Mommy’s hand until she let go

She saw a dress sale in the department store window

Now I am all alone left alone in quite a pickle

Wandering past strangers, their legs looking like denim bags of nickels

Hope dwindling down to a slow trickle


Oh Lordie Lordie where did my mom go?

Don’t you want me?

Don’t you want me no more?


Lordie, Lordie, where did my mom go?

You promised to be with me forever more

I’m looking at hundreds and hundfeds and  hundreds of ugly shoes

Looking for the ones that belong to you. 


Hey Lady, do you want to be my Mommy?

She lost me, the big dummy

I hope you can buy me something for me tummy

And I need to pee


Mommy, Mommy is that you?

Don’t be cross with me - who left who?

You know I see those new Jimmy Choos

For distress it is you I should sue

But I know you don’t have a dollar, never mind two

If Daddy could know what I knew

You’d be out and my new mom will make her debut










 

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Beat This Caption

While the capybara and Fred lived happily together the raccoon didn't know why he was always the bottom

Monday, June 24, 2024

Monday Question

Has your parents made and changes to your life or schedule since the heat dome has arrived?


 I am a mostly indoor dog finding the habit of passing bodily functions in public revolting, but I do go on walks, just not when it is 90 or above I only take a quick stroll around the outside of the house, not on the pavement, and If I am going to be in my stroller, or the car, I have a cooling mat to sit on..

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Foley's Tail From Rainbow Bridge: How An Angel Handle Annoying Prayers

 

I am an angel judge so I am required to answer all prayers, even the most annoying ones.

The most annoying prayers come from my Dad. 

Monday night I got an alert that he was praying again. I sighed, looked at my IPaw, and read the prayers, then rolled my eyes, and did a brain meld with him to give my answer. 

“No.”

And yet the nerd persisted. 

“Come on Foley do this for me and

If I had a bone for every time he said that, I would have more bones than a python (they have 600 vertebrae, which equals to about 1800 bones in their body, you can look it up.

“For the last time,” I said, curtly: “Angels don’t who wins the NBA title.”

“Oh Foley,” he pled, “I am a simple man of poor circumstance who has little joy in his life, so throw me a bone here, just influence this one game.”

I opened his prayer file. “Let’s see: In 2013 you asked me to help the Red Sox win the World Series, and pledged to go to church every Sunday if they win. They did, you didn’t.”

“I have to work Sundays,” he answered.

“So do preachers but they still manage to make it to church on Sunday.” I consulted his file. “January 2015, if the Patriots the Super Bowl, I will never ask you for anything again. You made the same prayer in January 2017, and in 2019, all Patriots won, and yet then prayers haven’t stopped.” I paused. “Then October 2018, if the Red Sox win the World Series you would give a tithe to the Church, which I know you meant to do when they won until you knew what tithe meant.”

He agreed he had been bad, but promised to do volunteer work for the little sisters of the poor if the Celtics won.

And I agreed. 

Then did nothing.

If the Celtics can’t win with a 3-1 lead at home with Porzingas playing there is nothing divine intervention could do.

They won without my help, but my Dad did not know that, so I went into his happy dreams and reminded him of the little sister's promise.

“I will soon, I have to make some adjustments to my schedule.”

I knew he wouldn’t, and I would soon get another prayer from him that I would ignore.

Sports players are annoying. We angels never have anything to do with the outcomes of sports contests.

Except to make the Yankees lose

But that’s a matter of good and evil.

I am an angel judge so I am required to answer all prayers, even the most annoying ones.

The most annoying prayers come from my Dad. 

Monday night I got an alert that he was praying again. I sighed, looked at my IPaw, and read the prayers, then rolled my eyes, and did a brain meld with him to give my answer. 

“No.”

And yet the nerd persisted. 

“Come on Foley do this for me and I will never ask you again.

If I had a bone for every time he said that, I would have more bones than a python (they have 600 vertebrae, which equals to about 1800 bones in their body, you can look it up.

“For the last time,” I said, curtly: “Angels don’t who wins the NBA title.”

“Oh Foley,” he pled, “I am a simple man of poor circumstance who has little joy in his life, so throw me a bone here, just influence this one game.”

I opened his prayer file. “Let’s see: In 2013 you asked me to help the Red Sox win the World Series, and pledged to go to church every Sunday if they win. They did, you didn’t.”

“I have to work Sundays,” he answered.

“So do preachers but they still manage to make it to church on Sunday.” I consulted his file. “January 2015, if the Patriots the Super Bowl, I will never ask you for anything again. You made the same prayer in January 2017, and in 2019, all Patriots won, and yet then prayers haven’t stopped.” I paused. “Then October 2018, if the Red Sox win the World Series you would give a tithe to the Church, which I know you meant to do when they won until you knew what tithe meant.”

He agreed he had been bad, but promised to do volunteer work for the little sisters of the poor if the Celtics won.

And I agreed. 

Then did nothing.

If the Celtics can’t win with a 3-1 lead at home with Porzingas playing there is nothing divine intervention could do.

They won without my help, but my Dad did not know that, so I went into his happy dreams and reminded him of the little promise.

“I will soon, I have to make some adjustments to my schedule.”

I knew he wouldn’t, and I would soon get another prayer from him that I would ignore.

Sports players are annoying. We angels never have anything to do with the outcomes of sports contests.

Except to make the Yankees lose.

But that’s a matter of good and evil.









Friday, June 21, 2024

The Ruby Rose Report: Why did the turkey crosss the road


 

I was taking my pre-supper walk and roll, where I walked along, until I found something that smelled right to me when both me and my dad stopped like we were performing for judges. To our right, a couple of hundred feet ahead, were two prehistoric turkeys with their beaks stuck the ground.


We have reached an agreement with the turkeys. One: We leave them alone to hunt and peck; Two: They don’t hunt and peck us and three: We go elsewhere for Thanksgiving so the turkeys don’t have to witness us carrying the plucked carcass of unlce Fred into our house, then see us defile his body with butter, shove a side dish into him, then cook him. Honestly, it is a much better deal for us. 


One of the unwritten rules is that turkeys have the right of way. People and dogs let them pass unmolested, and cars stopped for them, so what happened next was very disturbing.


As the turkeys happily enjoyed the pickings of a couple of seniors' lawns the door flew open like it was hit by a Nazi finally knowing where Anne Frank was. But, it was worse.


It was a man, wearing jean shots, with the whitest legs I have seen. His black belt was overlapped by a belly that belonged to a man who has said, at the end of every meal, for 80 years, that a little more won’t hurt. He had a blue t-shirt on, which proudly declared that he had gotten crabs at fisherman’s wharf. His head was bald, except for two strips of white hair just over his ears. And his face was bright red.


We all paused, waiting for what happened next when suddenly the man moved like he had 80 years ago when someone chucked a grenade into his foxhole. His arms were extended over his head like he was at an Eddie Floyd concert. He began to shriek and wave his arms. Then he chased after the turkeys. There was wing flapping and squawking, not from the turkeys. Like a modern-day Gavrilo Princip he broke our treaty and perhaps, unless cooler heads prevailed, would lead to another great turkey war.


We stayed frozen, witnesses to history. Then the man turned, and sat on his steps, staring at the birds across the street. Then the man made a rumble, followed by a cough recognized by anyone who had a family member with congestive heart failure. 


Daddy and I did the bravest thing possible. We slowly backed up until we came to another street which we quickly walked down not wanting to be caught up in the turkey counterattack.


We haven’t walked that way since.


There are murmurs in the trees. The squirrels are stocking up like it was winter’s eve. The wind whispers through the trees something dark and mysterious.


Our treaty with the turkeys was dead, and we prepared for war. One army had an advanced air force, great talons on thier feet, and mighty wings to soar into the sky.


The other army eats dinner at 3:00 PM, need two naps a day, misplaced their weapons ten years ago, and always have to pee.


I am thinking of joining the turkey army,


I like our odds. 





Thursday, June 20, 2024

Poetry Thursday

 


The two Spoiled Cats have challenged the blogging community to write a poem based on the picture below

All the passengers laughed at the man with the toilet paper trailing behind.

“What a fool,” a woman said being most unwise 

Another said “Obviously another Harvard educated master mind,”

A laughing woman offered a prayer for humankind.


Yes, they all prided themselves on their wit

Knowing they were superior to this toilet paper-dragging misfit

But then all the jocularity they quit

When the toilet paper man stepped into the cock pit.


“Oh good Lord its the pilot” a woman yelled

Belief in safety was quickly dispelled

Then prayers, sells and cries were expelled

Because they were in danger unparalleled


One woman wondered “Is then pilot a fool?”

Another asked: “Do you think he remembered the fuel.”

A third wondered if he had graduated from pilot school

A fourth asked if he could win a spelling bee vs Paula Abdul


Then the plane went into a nose dive

And people screamed and made deals with God to survive

It was now clear at their destination they would not arrive

Their families would never see them again alive.


A man realized what they must do before they died

To ask God to forgive them for the way the pilot deride

And they are allowed into heaven, all their many sins set aside

Then they waited for the crash, all certified

 

Then the pain leveled off a development most sublime

And they cheered the ridiculed pilot cheering as the plane did climb

In the cockpit, the smiling pilot confided in his navigator and partner in crime

Leaving a trail of toilet paper, then a nose dive got them every time

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Beat This Caption


 

Margaret, it's Tom. Did you get an eviction notice? Because I got home today, and our tree was gone. Of course, I know it is our tree, our initials are on it. 

Monday, June 17, 2024

Monday Question

 Where is your favorite spot to be that's not a sleeping spot?

Ruby's answer: On the mat in the living room in front of the TV stand where my snuffle mats and bones are.

Sunday, June 16, 2024

Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Blue Finds his Inner Lassie

 

Uploading: 142898 of 142898 bytes uploaded.Have you noticed how few people have on television have dogs? That may be why they have so many problems. And, if they do have dogs, they are either a nuisance or a superhero, rescuing their humans when they are face down in a ditch.

Early on in my relationship with my parents, I let them know, that if they were dumb enough to fall in a well, get caught in a flood at the Old Mill, or end up stranded in a ditch I would not get help. All dogs would do the same.


Or so I thought.


Because, last week, a dog named Blue proved me wrong.


Brandon Garrett is a true dog dad. He has four, that he takes everywhere, That included a trip to the mountains.


Last week, while on a drive on Hells Canyon Scenic Byway in the Wallowa Mountains in Oregon when he missed a turn, drove through the guard rail, and deep into a ravine. The five passengers were unhurt, but there was no way up the canyon, and they were too deep in the woods to be seen from the rarely-traveled road.


Brandon lined his dogs up. Three of them were shaken, but one, Blue, the leader of the pack, and the most fearless looked into her dad’s eyes awaiting his instruction.


In truth, they were more than man and dog. They have always had an understanding of their wants and needs without using worse. So Brandon didn’t have to say “go for help.” Blue gave his dad one long look of devotion and then scampered up the hill.


Brandon had every right to believe that Blue would complete his mission, but they were a long way from a house or business, so Brandon knew it would take time. He pitched a tent to provide himself and the stranded dog's shelter.


When Blue reached the top of the ravine he had to decide which way to go. He backtracked to the campsite that they had departed from where members of their family were still camping. At first, the humans thought that Blue had been forgotten, or run off, but the dog was frantically running towards the humans, then running away until one of the men realized Blue wanted to be followed.


When they started to trail Blue he ran forward barking excitedly. He led them up the road, and for four miles until he stopped exhausted at the point where his dad’s truck could be seen from the road.


The family could not get down the ravine, so they called search and rescue, who had the equipment to bring Brandon and the three dogs back to safety.


One of the rescuers asked Brandon if he was worried and he chuckled no. Blue had never let him down.


While we are all proud of Blue he did raise the bar for dogs. Families in need will expect dogs to save them.


We all are going to find our inner Lassie.


Or more appropriately our inner Blue.






Friday, June 14, 2024

The Ruby Rose Report: The Gift

 

I had finished my walk with my Dad, having inspected the homes and gardens en route, and barked instructions on how to bring them up to par, when I was troubled by something in the driveway

It was a stiff mouse.

I pulled my not-very observant Dad towards it and sniffed the mo, but there was no sign of life.

Poor thing. Someone had killed it.

Might as well eat it.

That’s when the mental alarm in my Dad’s head sounded. The one that is set for whenever I am going to eat something I shouldn’t. 

I hate that damn alarm.

We dogs hire humans to train our parents, amongst other things, to inform us when we shouldn’t pick up something to say “leave it.” At this critical juncture, like most humans under stress, he forgot his training and said no at different speeds and tones while jerking me backward by my harness, like I was a confused horse trying to mount a newly in-heat milk cow.

It was rude,

But, I had to put his overeager leash jerking aside to concentrate on why the mouse was in my driveway.

I  was afraid it was a Siamese message meaning “Tiny Mousey sleeps with the fishes.”

That night I went to the floor vent and barked to get the lead cat who lives under the house, Mrs. Haversham’s attention,

I knew the cats were down there, but I had to wait for Mrs. Haversham to make her way to the vent slowly. I asked her what the deal was with the mouse in the driveway.

“It was a gift to your parents to thank them for letting us live below the house and feed us the minimum amount of food to sustain life.”

I asked why leave a mouse? 

“We’ve been pooping in the gardens but no one noticed, we had to up our game.”

Oh, I had noticed. It was something else I was pulled away from mid-bite.

I said I understood, but was still confused about the mouse.

“We’re feral cats,” Mrs. Haversham said. “What are we supposed to leave? It is either poop in the garden, a dead mouse in the driveway, or hacking up hairballs to spell thank you on the steps.”

Mrs. Haversham had a point so  I thanked her. Mrs Haveresham said I was welcome, then added it was also a warning of what would happen if dinner was forgotten.

I knew it was a Siamese message. I asked her what poop in the garden meant.

“It meant I was sniffing the flowers and had to take a shit.”

How clever.

I thanked Mrs. Haversham and let her go back to the other cats who were, from the sound of it, playing golf by clubbing a birdie.

I will have to keep my eye on them. They are worthy adversaries. 

And I can only hope if we get another Sicilian message it will be a skinny mouse but a dead rabbit, signaling a kitty street gang from the 1850s wanted to rumble.

I  have learned to respect the kitties under the house, but not to trust them. 






Thursday, June 13, 2024

Poetry Thursday

 







The two Spoiled Cats have challenged the blogging community to write a poem based on the picture below



Thelma told Steve she needed to go to the mall

Which interfered with his day of watching football

Swearing to himself he thought “of all the unmitigated gall.”

But if he didn’t he knew he would have no peace at all


He hurried to their destination like it was a race

And he ignored the cross look on his wife’s face

he got to the jammed lot he looked for a parking space

He was certain there had to be one someplace


There was only one place in the parking lot

And he sped to it like a gunshot

When a woman in a red car came up on his blind spot

And took his spot' spurring a vocal onslaught


Steve shouted “you bitch, you cow, you whore.

I am going to key your door.”

The woman then did something he abhor

She turned her back and to him, she did ignore

 

Steve sat in the lot his face beat red

Thinking of all the ways he could make her dead

But he formulated another plan instead

“I think I can slide in between them,” he said


Before Thelmas could scream no

He hit the gas and they did go 

He hit her bumper and his car lifted like it was picked up by a tornado

A satisfied Steve said “how you like me now ho.”


They had to climb out of the car

Steve had to pull her out like the last pickle in a jar

Steve hurried her in where she could shop and he eat at the snack bar

And light himself a victory cigar


But that was the end of his fun

A police man came to him with a drawn gun

It happened to her, so Edith Bunker could say what he had done

Steve had parked on top of a subaru filled with nuns


Tuesday, June 11, 2024

Beat this caption




Dear Mr. Chewy: This morning I called your customer service number because the bag of Friskies your company sent me had expired. I was on hold for two hours and when someone finally answered it was a Bassett Hound. Do I look like I speak Bassett Hound? I couldn't understand a damn thing he said, and when I said I wanted to talk to a cat he cut me off.  I demand my account be credited and I am sent a bag that hasn't expired.

Signed

Ernest P. Snuggles Jr.



Thank you

Thank you

Monday, June 10, 2024

Monday Question

This is a question for your parents

If you are sitting with your pet on your lap, and you have to pee, do g you move the animal, or hold it in, not wanting to disturb the pet, and hoping they will move soon?



Ruby's Answer: My mom holds it in for as long as she can and then runs into the bathroom


Sunday, June 9, 2024

Foley's Tales from Rainbow Bridge - Molly. A True Original

 


With each passing day, we are getting further away from the cyber place where so many of us met and made lifelong friends.


I think of that place each day, as I walk the streets of Rainbow Bridge, seeing the many friends I made there when we were young, invincible, and the days lay before us, seemingly an endless amount.


There are only a pawful of original DS members still on the mortal side.


This week that number decreased by one, because Molly from Fall River crossed the Bridge.


When I first met her she was a newly minted rescue, who, like all of us, was bound to change the world one human at a time.


Most of us were content to share stories about our days and spin mighty yarns about our adventures. We got some humans who weren’t comfortable being themselves on social media, coming out of their shells, walking behind their dogs, who were in the spotlight.


Our parents were happier with us being the ones getting attention, and when they saw how much their pups were loved, they began doing something that they had said wasn’t for them: Recounting their day on social media. 


But Molly, a rescue, knew her siblings, Sully and Nora, could fill that void. Molly was to change her mom in a more personal way.


Molly came into Momma Lisa’s life as the dog not chosen. There were two dogs available when she looked at the dogs and someone was coming in to take one. Momma Lisa said she would take the remaining one, on such decisions worlds can change.


Molly was left behind, and Momma Lisa welcomed Molly into her pack.


Molly repaid her by being the sweetest,  happiest dog in the world, and inspired Momma Lisa to become involved in the rescuing world. She began volunteering at a rescue, doing home visits, and transports. Molly led her to volunteer, where she helped countless dogs, and gave her a feeling of contentment nothing else did. Momma Lisa has made lifelong friends in rescues and helped bring another Molly, another happy dog, to a family in need of joy. 


Now Molly has graduated to the Bridge, leaving her family and friends, because the Powers That Be need a dog angel to work with dogs without hope, to help them find it, which will lead them to their forever home.


Momma Lisa has lost many dogs, and the pain is never the same, but the passing of Molly, who brought so much into her life was particularly hard.


But, Molly wants her mom to know whenevver there is a dog surviving on the streets, or when a rescue is brought into a home, or a rescue is being transported by Momma Lisa to a new family, to look in the dog’s eyes and she’ll see Molly.


As with every passing the mortal said is lessened , and the immortal side is enriched, but it was especially true in this instant.


There is a new reason for rescue to hope..


And she is called Angel Molly





Wordless Wednesday