Poetry Thursday

  

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below

 Since birth everyone considered simple Bob a twit

He did not know how things worked not even a bit

He was born without sense or and ounce  of wit

Bob was a man who didn’t know shit

Bob’s father was sick of his son being out of the loop

Even the dumbest person could make Bob a dupe

He was always the least intelligent in his group

So his dad sent Bob to the  school of poop

They said they could teach him the difference between Pepsi and Coca-Cola

Between a log  and a gondola

Between the President and the Ayatollah

And most importantly between shit and shinola.

The teachers realized Bob had to learn a lot

How to pay for things he just bought

And they tried to teach him the most important lesson to be taught

When to shit and when to get off the pot

Bob flunked when to come out of the rain

He flunked when to take his hand off the stove when he felt pain

He flunked not to stand in front of a moving train

In short Bob had shit for brains

Bob’s dad thought there was nothing to be done

With his slacker son

Unlike Forrest he couldn’t even run

Bob would be his dad's burden until the day darkness consumed the son

One happy day Bob’s dad realized Bob’s fate

There was only one job where Bob could pull his weight

The only job Bob would not desecrate

Was being President of the United States 

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

 

 When she found out her family could not afford freeze dried salmon Belle turned to Only Fans

Monday Question

 Do you have any traits that could be described as peculiar?

Ruby'Answer - Before I eat a treat I sniff it

Ruby's Sunday Funnies

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business.
After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking.
The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned... how was it for you?"
The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."
The first man asked, "How's that?"
"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast... she farted and flew out the window!"

A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full ofgolf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully andfinally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked."Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?

Friday Fill-Ins

   

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in capitals.

When I have to make a hard decision I ASK MYSELF WHAT THE PRESIDENT WOULD DO, POST SOMETHING UNINTELLIGIBLE AND GO TO BED.

If I were a dance I would be ONE WHERE AT THE END SOMEBODY GETS PREGNANT

EAT, DRINK BE BEAUTIFUL IS my current life motto.

NOT BEING IN A CRATE WHEN MY PARENTS LEAVE THE HOUSE is the best part of being an adult AND BRING OLD ENOUGH TO BE LEFT ALONE BY MY PARENTS is the worse part.

Poetry Thursday

  I

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture 

The tickets were hard to reach

Harder than finding an open spot on the beach

Security was tight: There would be no breach.

Because the king was giving a speech,

The anxious crowd filled the hall

Waiting for the king to answer the call

Then the lights dimmed and the king stood tall

Like a debutant at the ball

A hush fell over the room as they waited for him the speak

There was no word of the text not a peep

Before speaking the microphone gave a tiny feedback beep

Then the King spoke in barely a squeak

The crowd leaned forward so they could hear

A speech which could barely be heard if you were near

In the back a broken microphone was their fear

Then realized they would need a forty inch Miracle Ear

The ones who could hear in front found the king to be a bore

As he prattled on about today’s Wordle score

Some put their heads down and began to snore

While others hoped to sneak out the guarded door

He talked about his love of simple math

His plans for a London production of an all drag musical version of the Grapes of Wrath

He described in great detail the model battleships he played with in his bath.

And then his obsession with his nanny’s breasts causing those who could hear to fear he was a psychopath 

The audience realized they had no choice

But to stay until the King got in his Rolls Royce

For, with a mute Liberian and narcoleptic DMV worker he would have a dull ménage a trios

The audience was left to wonder if the King had nothing to say or no voice