Beat This Caption

 

My dark roots? You’re talking about my roots? Shut your festering gob, you tit, or I will claw your eyes out and get you an European seeing-eyed-dog so you are always walking against tradffic

Monday Question

 What inspired you to be a blogger and how many have you posted?  

I joined a group called Doggyspace in 2008 because it looked like fun but the site was growing toxic. I wanted to keep in touch with my friends when I left that group so I started blogging, I have posted 4,260 blogs since 2009

Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

 

A man goes into a restaurant where all the waitresses are gorgeous.

A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?"

He looks at the menu, scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, and then answers, "A quickie." The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.

After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding SMACK! and storms away. A man sitting at the next table then leans over and whispers, "Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche.

A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. 

They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in the bedroom, so the man asks his best friend to waft a towel while he and his wife make love.

Begrudgingly, the friend submits and says yes.

After 20 minutes of lovemaking, the woman is no closer to orgasm, so the friend wafting the towel recommends that they switch places. So the friend is now having sex with the woman while the husband wafts the towel.

After two minutes, the woman starts to tremble and lets out an incredible cry as she reaches the most intense orgasm she has ever had.

The husband looks at his friend, and proudly proclaims, "Now that, my friend, is how you waft a towel.

 

Nature Friday

 It has been a long time since I took part in a Nature Friday, brought to you by our friends LLB. Not only have I been living in a long, cold, lonely winter but in October we moved into the second floor of a big concrete building leaving our many gardens behind. 

But where there is a will there is a garden.

Once a week new flowers have been brought into our apartment. Some thrived, some died, but now we have more than a dozen.

I thought, in honor of the return of spring I unveil for the first time Ruby’s counter and crate top gardens.

Our home will always be full of flowers because flowers represent life and you can never have too much love.

Especially in a long, dark, lonely winter

Poetry Thursday

 Today is Poetic Thursday hosted by Teddy and Angel Sammy at Two Spoiled Cats

Today’s Inspiration

Laura was alone in a dark room

No sign of life no flower a bloom

She was afraid the room would be her tomb

And a single lit candle to offset the gloom

She ran her hands across the wall

Taking small steps so she would not fall

Then she banged her knee on something two feet tall

It was a desk and behind it a chair quite small

She picked up the candle from the floor

And placed it on the desk, its only decor

She opened and blindly reached in the drawer

And when she found a book it lifted her core

She handled the book like a delicate flower

And felt joy for the first time since being locked in this tower

To break the boredom she could devour

 the book in less than an hour

It opened her dark world to one filled with splendid imagination

And for the first time she felt no trepidation

The written word, to those in despair, is reason for celebration

And soon she was in a world of her old creation.

Before her opened lawns of green

With mountains in the distance and flower in between

And the darkness was drained by sunlight bright and clean

And she could see so much that she had not been able to be seen

And then a hand, strong and kind, reached out to her

She took it, and was pulled into the book where she began to transfer

From a poor girl to a princess demure 

Freed from the darkness and pain by the clever litterateur.    

Wordless Wdnesday

 

Beat This Caption

 

Let me get your ears, now your belly, let me look under the tail, how did you ger sticky stuff down there, stop fighting me, stop fighting me, you’re a bad man, a bad man! 

So tell me Skippy how do you like a bath now