Friday fillings on Saturday, which is actually early Sunday morning.

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in black

• The older I get, the more beautiful I get. What, did you think it was going to be something else? Have you met me? I am gorgeous. 
• I frequent a kitty dive bar called Minxes. It is just beyond the fence, located in a tipped-over barrel. It's where I sit and drink catnip for two dollars a shot. There are two tabby cats there who seem to be fighting over the same tomcat every day. I heard one of them plan to claw the other one's eyes out. I mind my own business. There's the sound of two tabbies going at it like rats in a sock from up the stairs. While from another locked room,  a cat moans low. It's not the kind of place we talk about. But at the end of a busy day, it's where I like to relax until the cockfight is done. I also like sitting on my mommy's lap
• Back in my day, we had a thing called COVID. Everyone was sick, and they wore masks. None of the stores were open. The schools were all closed. Everyone was tense. I could not get a grooming appointment. In some ways, it was long ago, but to me, it is like yesterday.
• I  am glad that the gas prices are so high and the world is in such a terrible state, with violence everywhere and a war on in these last few weeks of summer. Because our parents will stay home and cuddle with us, which is where they should be. Like back in the old days of COVID. Did I ever tell you about COVID? Well, pull up a chair and I will tell you a tale and share a shot of catnip with you.

Poetry Thursday

   

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below.  Please to enjoy

 Jimmy Meerkat got out of school early and was anxious to join his pack

But when he got home Jimmy saw a jackal named Jack

Going at it with his mother in the sack

And was taken aback 

Jimmy immediately said he had to tell his dad

But his mother said that would make her mad

And makw his dad sad

And Jack said “you are married? Egad”.

 

Jimmy had been raised to tell the truth

And be the perfect youth

But he didn’t want to be a blabbermouth

And rip apart his family like the Lincolns and John Wilkes Booth

 The weight of the truth brought Jimmy down

And his dad wanted to know why the frown

And Jimmy decided to stop fooling around

You tell his father his mom was the new queen of  Ho town.

Before Jimmy could speak, his mother entered the room. 

She asked him to come outside and her face was red as she did fume.

When away from his father, she told him. “I carried you in my womb..

And I will sweep you out of here like dust from  my broom.”

Back with his dad he heard him ask what was for dinner and was told bug cake. 

Timmy had an epiphany that hit him like an earthquake

.He looked at his mother with an expression like a sly rake 

and said, I think from now on, we should all eat steak

Jimmy grew up that day as he saw his mom's face crack. 

He had gained the upper hand, and they were never going back.

 Soon he had steak for dinner, a car, a TV anda stereo system to play his new Euphoria soundtrack.

And from that day forward, his mother did not get jack.

.

Wordless Wednesday

Beat This Captian

His life-long obsession with Quidditch left Larry with an embarrassing rash and a mis-diagnosis of Puppy Chlymedia

Monday Question

 How do you take water? Tap, pitcher filter, bottled, water cooler or toilet?

I usually get it from a pitcher filter and sometimes tap

Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."
"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"
"Really? Great! Show me!"
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will NOT have our employees womanizing all over the country!"
"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"
"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"
"Oh," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"  

A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks. "I have to be honest with you" the woman says as the guy makes his move."I`m a hooker".

The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it. He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it.

After they finish, the guy says,

"Now I should be honest too. I`m a cab driver and its going to cost you $25 to get back to town

town

A schoolgirl approaches her mother and announces, "Mommy, I know where babies come from!"

"And where is that?" her mother asks.

"Well, Mommy and Daddy take their clothes off and Daddy's thingy sort of sticks out and Mommy puts it in her mouth and that's how you get babies," she explains.

"Oh darling, that's so sweet, but that's not how we get babies," her mother replies, "That's how we get flowers, jewelry, clothes and shoes.”

 

Friday Fill In

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in blue 

 1. The pizza a day subscription was money well spent because it made my parents fat and a fat lap is much better to nap on then a skinny ass one

2.  Dog training was a big waste of money. My parents didn't learn anything, and after 40 minutes of showing them how to get me to sit, and failing, the trainer crawled into a dog igloo, where she lived ten months surviving off of  spilled kibble and escaped crickets and the store refused to refund the money to my parents because it did not cover the cost of the igloo.

3. If I became famous, it would most likely be because .wait: I am not famous? That can't be true. tell Mr. Deville I am ready for my close

4. _A poodle cut I got to impress a boy who lives down the hall was the worst hairstyle I’ve or any other dog ever had