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Showing posts from July, 2022

The Ruby Report: A Day at the Groomers

  I was nervous when I went for a car ride, worried my parents would return me to the airport, and worse than that, fly me economy. River had appeared in my dreams and told me I was going to the best groomer in the world, Groomingdales, the only thing worth seeing in the town of Lakeville, which, honestly, is more lake than ville. One of the groomers, Jen, has been making my pack beautiful for 26 years, and the other, Beth, is why River and I ended up with my family. For a time, River lived with her and got impregnated by her boy Griffon. River didn't take to being a mom. She wouldn't stop smoking during her pregnancy. When Foley passed, Beth told Mommy about River; when River passed, my new parents had a direct line to my own. River promised I would get a relaxing bath, a good brushing, and a butt squeeze to unpack the unwanted junk in her trunk. When I entered, Beth and Jen acted like the queen had come i

Nature Friday

   Hosted by The LLB Gang   For years we had a beautiful Forsythia shrub in our backyard. Then one fall morning, my parents woke up, and the bush was gone, cut down to the trunk. We live in a 55-and-older facility, where we own the house but rent the land. The owners have the right to step in if a yard is not kept correctly, but if you have been a long-time reader, you know our parents take meticulous care of our yard. My dad marched to the office to confront the inept property manager Penelope Fudgebottom. When he arrived, he saw the bush tied to the back of a truck. He entered the office where Penelope was having a conversation with the handyman Yosemite Ignatio  Daddy demanded to know why the bush was cut down. Penelope immediately began hemming and hawking like Ralph Kramden. "It's more better for your," Yosemite Ignatio. "It's not more better," Daddy snapped back. He demanded Penelope's explanation of why it was cut down, and she answered that she

Thursday Poetry Time

   This is the photo that Sammy and Teddy posted for us to inspire a poem.    The wife said she heard a knocking from the bathroom But I knew I should not assume I climbed the stairs and turned on the lights But there was nothing wrong in sight I turned to go back down the stairs When a loud knocking caught me unaware I thought it came from the downed toilet seat But what could be making that slow study beat? I carefully lifted the top and  saw to my surprise Our neighbors' boy Timmy pop up with no cries Head first into the toilet he had fallen Which in this vicinity was uncommon He had no way to go in reverse And found himself in a situation most adverse So forward into the pipe he did go Squeezing through the plumbing was slow Until he saw a light coming from our hall And he began to crawl Like Shawshank's Andy he moved through filth Around our bowl the water spilth He got his foot caught in our small drain But still able to think with his brain He knocked on the seat and ho

Wordless Wednesday


Beat This Caption

  What the hell? My password has always been meow

The Ruby Rose Report

    I have heard many stories about new dogs being taught how to act by their parents' latest angel. Well. I have three advising me, who all believe they are the best dog, and I should emulate them. Since I don't want to favor one of them, I took a bit from each. From Foley Monster, I got my playfulness and mannerisms. She taught me how, when I am excited, to spin around in circles. Also, I learned how to entertain myself with toys, something my other two sisters couldn't do. She also taught me to respect the bed, which has been difficult since my puppy energy kicks in around bedtime. Foley told me it was acceptable to play in bed as long as the lights were on, but when they go off, it is time to snuggle down and be still. I am seven years old in human years, so turning off the energy switch is hard, but when I do, I am closer to Mama than the blankets that cover her. From Pocket, I have learned tenderness: How to take a treat gently or how to lick softly. Al

River Song Has a Close Encounter of the Angel Kind with Kitty Isabella

    I have never been welcoming to other dogs. My mom was mine, and I didn’t want to share her with another animal, so I made myself look angrier than my resting face projected and kept them at bay. I did get to meet dogs during my mortal life. The most significant number of them I met simultaneously was at Laura’s house. I have been lucky to meet them there, including Wishbone, Pokey, Toby, and Bentley the Westie. When we got an invitation to go to his house, which he shared with his brother Winston, I was very excited to see him again. When we got to his lovely lake house I began barking aggressively because there was a cat in the front yard. I was getting ready to chase it when Foley stopped me and said that the cat’s name was Isabelle, and after 20 years of devoted service to Bentley’s mom, she recently arrived at the Bridge and moved into the house with her brothers.  This was a problem. While I could begrudgingly get along with dogs I drew the line at cats. I had been tormented b

Nature Friday

 Hosted by the LLB blog   We have a lot of gardens on out little spit of land. After Foley passed a garden was named after her. Now that we have three angels they each have their own garden.   The River Song Garden   The Pocket Garden   The Foley Garden I asked Mommy when I could get a garden and she said not for a long time. What did she mean by that?  

Poetry Thursday

  This is the photo that Angel Sammy and Teddy gave us for inspiration     John’s friend the photographer asked him to strike a pose John decided to try it and see how it goes When they arrived at the spot John’s friend said to stand in the tunnel But John refused and said  it could be trouble The photographer insisted the photo would be meaningful A man finding light at the end of the tunnel is cheerful The photographer said no train would come for hours And there was no reason for John to cower So against his better judgment, he entered the tunnel and walked into the sun And the photographer was right there was no reason to run John heard the click of the camera as he walked into the light Then saw a train hit the photographer, who wasn’t too bright        

Wordless Wednesday


Beat This Caption

  The Bay of Corgis Invasion Was Doomed to Fail

Monday Question.

  How many pets, including dogs, cats, small animals, reptiles, and birds have your parents had?       Ruby's Answer: I think between two sets of parents that the number is 20 pets in all.  I am the heir to all of them.

Signing Up for the World's Worst Misery

      From the desk of River Song. Imagine being in the worst possible pain. Not the physical kind, which is debilitating, but the emotional pain you can never escape. That is what losing a dog is like, and only the loss of a child is worse. Imagine placing your hand on a hot burner and leaving it there until the skin peels from your hand. Now imagine sticking your charred flesh in a bucket of salt. That is the pain of losing a dog. For the rest of your days, you avoid the stove, so the pain never occurs again. But, pet parents continue to put their hands on the stove. Granted, we dogs are more rewarding than a stovetop, even if it is used to heat fantastic soup. But from the day a new dog walks into your home, the clock begins to check on one of the most incredible displays humans suffer. The only way to avoid it is by being the one who goes first but abandoning a dog to go to the immoral side makes for troubled angels when there should only be peaceful ones. Foley t

Nature Friday

       For my first Nature Friday post I stole my parents I phone and uploaded pictures from their trip to Lake Winnipesaukee   This is Meredith Harbor. This picture was taken from a little diner where my parents had lunch on their last day.   This is a view of houses on Rattlesnake Island. There are no bridges to it, and no roads on it, so it doesn't have any cars, or electricity. Still there are more than two dozen vacation homes on it. \ The myth surrounding Rattlesnake Island is that it was, at one time, filled with rattlesnakes. The truth is the two humps make it look like a snake.  My parents, went on this big boat, the Mount Washington, that travels around the lake. They sat back, felt the breeze on their faces, looked at the sights, and tried to forget their troubles. This is a picture of the boat at Weir's Beach This was taken in Wolfeboro Bay. I don't know the name of the inn to the to the right, the Windrifter Yacht Club is to the left.  They came home on Thursda

Poetry Thursday

        Angel Sammy and Teddys Pawetaton have picked out this picture for poetry Thrusday.  He is my, Ruby Rose's first attempt        A long and thin home was not for me The bathroom was at one end and it was a long walk to pee But the realtor pointed to ceiling To show something quite appealing When you wished to travel from one end of the house to the other Unless you were a pregnant mother You climbed a ladder along to wall Being careful not to fall Then load yourself into the round top And punch in where you want to stop Well, I felt like quite the dude When I realized the ceiling was a Pneumatic tube And traveled at great speed To the bathroom that I did need Only to find out in my pants I had already peed

The Arrival

  I don't know how many of you have been on a plane, but I suggest you avoid it. It is loud, crowded, and if I am not mistaken, for at least part of the journey, you are flying above the birds, which should make one feel free, but was quite confining and unusually loud. I was glad when we were on the ground in Philadelphia. My limo driving companion Peg said we had to hurry to make our connecting flight. Another one? What is it with these people and flying? We ran through the terminal (well, she ran, I stayed in my little carrier and was jostled more than on the plane.) We arrived just in time to see our plane leave without us. "Oh well," I thought. "We gave it our best shot; we should go home." But, Peg wouldn't be paid unless I was delivered, so she reserved a seat on the next flight in three hours, which is a day and a half in dog time. Peg took me out, gave me some water, a rubbing, and to

Ruby Rose's Trip to Her Forever Home Part 2

  The idea of being transported via airplane, like a shipment of illicit drugs, bothered me, and, if anyone tried to hide me in their anus, I was putting my paw down. My dear Papa, Maestro, the grand champion, told me never to sign an agreement until I have peed on the fine print. I ignored that advice, and now I knew what he meant. There were a lot of hidden details that River did not tell me before I agreed to leave my lovely Florida home for the vast wasteland known as Massachusetts. First, she told me I would be brought outside on a leash to pee. How uncouth; I was used to peeing when I wanted, not on command. Plus, I have a shy bladder and don’t like people watching me as I go. The good news is there were pee pads, which I preferred, as long as no one was watching. I thought I would leave my first family on a Saturday, but the limo driver arrived a day early and said we were going to hit the road at 4:00 AM.

Ruby Comes to Her Forever Home

    I was content at my former home where I lived with a dozen other dogs. Because many of them were puppies, I became their mentor.   I was surprised when the great River Song visited me in my dreams and said I would be the perfect dog for her parents. I wasn't sure. I had a good thing going, and I didn't need to mess up my life, especially getting involved with two needy neurotic parents. While River admitted her parents could be extra, she said I would thrive with personal attention, something I didn't get in a big pack, and that all dogs need to leave the nest and spread their wings. My initial thought was 'spread this,' but after I slept on it, I decided to turn my world upside down and become the only dog of broken parents. I wanted to go immediately but was told by River my soon-to-be mom and dad needed some time together to find out what life was like without a dog, do all the things they couldn't with a dog at home, including travel overnight. I told he

The 14 Hour Pee Break

    Howdy mobsters! I planned to hit all the blogs tonight, but I decided to have fun instead and gave my parents a proper scare. What did I do? Nothing, honest. It is what I didn’t do: Pee. I went from 8:30 in the morning to 10:30 at night without a drop coming out, and for some reason, it freaked my parents out.   First, I like going outside. The sun is warm, the grass tickles my feet, and there are some great smells. But, I have no idea what I am doing out there. I am told, “Go Tee pee,” but I can’t build one of those, and “go Potty,” which I thought meant potty mouth, so I swore at them, but apparently, they wanted me to pee. My old house had a doggy door and a little area to pee. I have never peed on a leash before.   I have been going on the pads, but I go when I feel like it, and apparently, 14 hours was too much for my parents to bear, and they kept taking me out or putting me on the pad and begged me to pee. After I had broken them, I peed on the pad. They could see my former

Introducing Ruby Rose

      Please allow me to introduce myself, mobsters. My name Ruby Rose, and I were selected, after a long interview process by Foley, Pocket and River, the Big Little Angels 3, I was selected to become the  next member of the Small Tails Group by River Song. I came from the same puppy home that she did, and at the same age. I have been tasked with fixing their shattered psyches, which I thought would take time, but just by walking in the door, I put them 50 percent back together. I have hit the jackpot with these people. All I have to do is look at them and they smile. I will be back tomorrow, with the story of my arrival. I am looking forward to reading your blogs and commenting on them I hope I prove to be a worthy successor and to uphold the Small Tales name

Watch This Space

        Our parents are going on vacation for the first time in 12 years. and will be off line until Friday or Saturday.   And on Saturday, if the creek don't rise, the Good Lord's willing, there are no plane delays, and there ain't no insurrection, we will be introducing Small Tale's latest member.    Mommy and Daddy are sexcited, which means sad and excited, but according to Google means something else I can't say, and they hope they soon have a little doggy to spoil rotten and love so much the dog will need a restraining order   Thank you for sticking with us.   A new chapter is beginning soon. 

River Song's Last Will and Testament

  I River Song, of sound mind and body, do declare my last will:   I leave all my toys, my bed, my spot in the big bed, my food, and most importantly, my beloved parents to whatever dog is lucky enough to take my place in my family. I also leave them instructions on how to repair my parents' broken hearts. I did it after they lost Foley, which was a monumental task, and it will be even harder now.   To my dear sweet Mommy, I leave the memories, the ecstasy you felt the day I walked into your life, the promises of fidelity and love we made then, which was unspoken, and fully understood. Our moment was not long, but the candle lit in that instance will burn for a lifetime and beyond. We were lucky; some dogs and parents didn't have what we did. I'll miss your laughter when you looked at me, and I wasn't trying to be funny. I wish I could still be by your side, but the fates thought differently. I

Nature Friday

     Finally I am able to do a Nature Friday post. I am happy Nature showed up in our uards This is from our front garden, which is soon the be River's garden These are the Clematis growing around our lamp post. This seem to want to grow sideways more than up despite much encouragement.  This flowering shrub in River's garden has been there so long I don't remember what it's called.   The orange lilies  in the side garden are coming in strong  And so are the lilies on the side garden. We will have more flowers as they season progresses.