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Showing posts from October, 2020

A Real Ghost Story By Foley Monster

  We dogs are all supposed to protect our families . I learned countless stories that exhibit our incredible feats of strength and bravery when something threatens their parents.  Sometimes, dogs make the greatest sacrifice while battling evil forces who put their parents in danger. When we become angels, we can no longer physically protect our humans. But, there are incredibly determined dogs, who have aided, or avenged, their parents from the mortal side .  I recently met one such dog who was visiting who from the land called Happily Ever After.   He walked the Earth in the 1700s, and to this day, angels recall him being a dog whose ghost spirit was so strong he avenged his death. This is Blue’s story.     He lived in England with his dad, Randolph, who was a drinker and a braggart .   Randolph liked to go to The Rusty Nail, a local bar in Blue’s native Manchester .  A few days before Blue got sent to the Bridge, a barrister arrived at Randolph’s home and gave him a bag of go

From the desk of Foley Monster: River's Attempt to Rid the World of Squirrels Causes Her to Believe the Wrong Person

River Song had enough.  Every morning she patrolled the yard and found the grass-covered in critter markings.  Neither she nor Pocket could drink enough water to cover the spots with their pee.  To rid her yard from the persistent pests, River needed a professional. She searched Cujo's list on the Internet and saw a listing for Mr. Boone, who promised that only he could keep critters from sneaking into her yard.   River was sure this was the solution, but Pocket was skeptical.  Mr. Boone's Facebook page listed his occupation as a rainmaker, psychic, and snake oil salesman. Pocket cautioned River about Mr. Boone's credentials, but River had been bothered by critters for so long her desire to believe in a savior triumphed over her common sense. Mr. Boone arrived the next day. He assured my sisters he knew more about vermin than anyone else, and only he could fix the problem.   He told them to go to sleep, and when they woke up, he would have solved all their problems.  Best

Wordless Wednesday


Beat This Caption

  Tucker had long dreamed of his perfect Halloween costume:  Dog Delivering Beer While Getting Anal

Monday Question

  What movie of television show best describes your life?

Baxter and Nigel Loving Like Cats and Dogs by Foley Monster

  Baxter and Nigel Loving Like Cats and Dogs by Foley Monster   People tend to think the battle between dogs and cats has been going on for centuries. The real struggle began when we became domesticated. We started to fight over attention and, most notably, the lap. When we were outside, we enjoyed chasing cats, but that was partially their fault because a cat scent can resemble a squirrel's if its blowing in the wind.   Before we began living together, dogs and cats ignored one another. We felt cats were overly prissy, totally untrustworthy, with sharp claws, and used sarcasm deftly. Cats thought that we were clumsy, drooled too much, and were obsequious. We were two species never meant to cohabitate. We are like the Democrats and Republicans of the animal world. I will let the reader decide which affiliation to assign their pet depending on which pet you like the most and political party you like the least. Dogs and cats devoted themselves to humans. The difference being do

Simba's Journey From Caribbean Street Dog to Liverpool Rock Star by Foley Monster

  People love to vacation at places with white sandy beaches, blue oceans, and dozens of activities to pleasantly pass the time. It is a relaxing and memorable time as long as you stay on the main roads. If you stray, you might find all the poverty swept to the side by the local governments.   One of those things that get hidden on the side streets is stray dogs. In some countries, the roads get clogged up with abandoned and never loved dogs like America is with homeless people. Georgia Harding and Sam Blackburn are a couple from Liverpool, England who went to Barbados for a quiet vacation, never thinking their lives would change forever.   They were driving to the beach when Sam showed off that famous British sense of direction by getting lost. As they were traveling down a street, Georgia saw something slowly moving in the tall grass. She told Sam to stop, and she got out of the car. She saw, hiding in the grass, an emaciated young dog, trembling, despite the high heat and humid

Foley Tries to Teach Pocket to Be a Brave Dog and Gets the Shock of Her (After) Life

  Foley says I need to be tougher. I think, at 13, I am what I am, but my angel sister sees room for improvement. The angels assigned her to interview a courageous yellow lab who, through persistent and will, helped find a missing hiker in Colorado and would be receiving the dog medal of honor at an upcoming dream ceremony. Since the questioning would take place in the dog’s dreams, Foley ordered me to attend to see how a hero dog acts.   I was thrilled to meet the beautiful and heroic dog. Foley asked several questions about how she had saved the woman. Foley made a point of telling me that I had a lot to learn from this dog. Before we left, Foley remembered an important question and asked her what her name was.   "My name is Pocket," the sizeable yellow lab said politely. I could not believe my ears. I was so proud. Meanwhile, Foley was wondering how could such a brave, heroic dog be named Pocket? She loudly opinioned Pocket is for pathetic, whiny, nervous little g

Wordless Wednesday


Beat This Caption

  Mom, what did I say about raptors at my birthday party.  They always eat the candles.

Monday Question

 How often, and when, do you eat each day?    

The Brightest Star by Foley Monster

  It's is time that I told you another secret about the Bridge. I know you have been brainwashed by big astronomy to believe that those bright lights in the sky are suns millions of miles away. How silly!  Big astronomy developed this theory to explain something they didn't understand. The truth is when you look to the sky and see stars; they are just angel shadows. Shadows work differently at the Bridge. Being here is like living in the upside-down. Our shadows cast towards the sky. When the sun is out, no one can see them.  But as soon as night falls, they twinkle in the dark sky.  And we always shine the brightest for those we love. This week we are fortunate enough to get a very bright star in the sky. Coincidentally the angel shining that light is named Star.  She belonged to aunt Gail's pack.  She had been in a lot of pain before her mother helped her pass over. Her spine was making it too painful to walk.  Then the dementors gave her a seizure to signal her time

Dasiy Mae: Newly and Forever Young

  You humans are lucky.   You age slowly.  When you see a person every day, you don’t notice the other is getting older, probably because of dual eyesight failure.  Most people don’t change remarkably over 15 years, but a dog’s appearance gets overhauled over the same time.  In the time frame, when humans need a touch more makeup or something to mask the grey hair that suddenly appears, we go from puppy to adult to old dog.  When when we become seniors, our parents are shocked because it seemed like yesterday when we were babies.       For we dogs, the change comes just as quickly. Unlike humans, we are not obsessed with our appearance.  People spend a quarter of their lifetime in front of the mirror.  They fret over their reflection, making sure every little hair is in place, their clothes fit properly, and nothing sticks to their teeth. Their behavior is hugely problematic because that is the time they could spend playing with us.  We are a lot less forgiving than a mirror.  We don

River Recounts Her Past Life as Christopher Columbus' Dog

    Most dogs live their lives, use up their heartbeats, go to the Bridge, wait for their parents, then ascend to Happily Ever After, where they will spend eternity with their mom and dad.  My problem is, I have never, until now, had a parent I wanted to be with forever.  Because of that, I have made good use after I reached the Bridge of the reincarnation clause, which allows a soul to go back with a new body and try to find their match for eternity again.  I have been doing this for centuries.  I usually don’t talk about my past lives, but this week it was Columbus Day, which caused me to remember my time as Christopher Columbus’ dog.       Daddy Chrissie adopted me in Italy, weeks before he went to Spain, to convince Ferdinand and Isabella to finance his journey to find a shorter way to the far east by traveling west.  “Chrissie’s directionally challenged,” his brother Kenny told me.  Columbus finally convinced the Spanish sovereign to pay for his travel expenses by promising to b

Wordless Wednesday


Beat This Caption

  I don't care if Chewy is delayed or not.  I suggest you immediately go to the store, buy my bag, bring it home, then feed me.  And I don't want to hear another word about it. 

Monday Question

      What Was Your First Day in Your Home Like?

Kiki's Sudden Depature

I know how shocking it is for parents to be left behind after we suddenly depart for the Bridge.  I was fine on a Sunday and gone within a week.  Truthfully,  if my vet had done x-rays, I wouldn’t have lasted that long.  While it seemed sudden to you, the truth is that things were going on inside of me that you could not see and had been developing for a long time.  You just caught the final scene.  That is how illnesses work.  They stay hidden, and when it raises its ugly head, it can be too late to stop it.         The same type of tragedy affected my sweet friend Kiki the Huskey this weekend.  Like me, she seemed perfectly fine during the week, and then on Saturday, developed a cough, which made her parents fear she had been exposed to kennel cough.  On Saturday morning, she enjoyed her walk but showed no interest in food, something quite strange for a chowhound like her.  Her parents went to the emergency vet for what th

Ward is Made Whole at the Bridge

  P eople say we are here for an eternity.  When we are waiting for our parents, it certainly seems that long.  It is rare for people to pass before their dogs do.  That is why so few are waiting for us when we cross the Bridge.  When a human passes over, it is damn pcrowded in the waiting area.  If the person had been lucky and lived a good life, they end up with more loved ones on the immortal side than the living.  Ward Lawson lived a long and blessed life.  There were hundreds of souls waiting for him as he crossed.  But, there was one more—his shadow.     Ward spent his last years living with dementia. Every day for years, he got a degree worse until his wife, the remarkable Delores, could no longer care for him.   She made the difficult decision to place Ward in a nursing home.  It was the correct choice because a few weeks after being placed, Ward lost the ability to care for himself in every way, and needed around the clock nursing and attention.  Delores still went to the ho

Cali's Final Mission

  When my good friend Cali got sworn in at the Bridge, it was at another district miles from mine.  After Cali made the long trip to our village, I investigated why the pup didn’t arrive where she should have.  I am surprised by what I found and more aware of why Cali is a spectacular dog and angel.   When any soul passes, they have to go directly to the River of Life to begin the trip to the Immortal Side.   If they don’t, it is akin to missing a flight and taking another one with many connections and layovers.  When a river wave goes by, it is impossible to determine when the angel will catch the next one, reach the Bridge, and cross.   But, Cali had something more important than to arrive at the Bridge immediately and be directly brought to us.  Cali knew her mom was going to be devastated by her passing.  There was only one path out of the nightmare Miss Nancy would face after Cali shed her mortal coil, and that would be the distraction another pup in the house would bring.