Featuring the exploits of Ruby Rose, Foley Monster's Tails From Rainbow Bridge, and co-starring Angels Pocket and River Song. We always try to leave you between a laugh and a tear
Wednesday, May 31, 2023
Tuesday, May 30, 2023
Beat This Caption
You want me to get up for the pregnant lady? Let me tell you, I’m pregnant too. I got about seven of them, draining me from the inside. If she has seven in there, I would gladly get up, but since she doesn’t buzz off
Monday, May 29, 2023
Monday Question
What do your parents say to you to stop you from doing something bad
My parents say either no, or get down because I get up a lot.
I ignore both
Sunday, May 28, 2023
The Ruby Rose Report: Balls!
Pocket has often visited me in my dreams and extolled the virtues of playing ball. She was upset that none of her other siblings had followed in her paw steps, and when she met me immediately began barking about the bouncing ball.
At first, I was not impressed with the balls. I liked bones, something I could get in my mouth and rub my teeth against. Girls like me often leave the ball untended, and it shrinks into the back of the toy box undetected.
I am low-key most days, as I build my energy in case of an emergency where a dog running around the house confused and nonsensically barking is required. But, the stored energy that is yet to be needed bubbles over, usually twice a week, around midnight. I jump out of bed and run into the living room. Like a young mother who has been with the baby all day and needs to sleep, she orders my dad to stay up with the unruly child.
I have a lot of toys, more than my pack's dogs have had, and I have soft stuffies and hard bones. In times of excess energy, I take everything out, throw it in the air, and run after it, then return for what is next until the toy box is empty. One night last week, I saw a ball tucked in the back; I picked it up and spat it out.
I picked it up and whipped my head, releasing the ball. It bounced high and rolled on its own, causing my instincts to kick in, and I chased the ball, picked it up, and did it again. Look at what I have been missing! Then the ball rolled to Daddy, who picked it up and threw it, and now the ball was bouncing and darty. I ran after it, caught it, and triumphantly ran around the house. It was the best way to burn off unwanted energy ever!
I spent more than an hour playing with the ball. Fortunately, the ball squeaked so I could make noise and keep Daddy awake. Finally, I laid down, and was brought into the bedroom, where I got on the mattress, then stood on Mommy for a whole minute pretending I was Hilary and her breasts were Mount Everest. She wishes.
That night Pocket visited me in my dreams, happy that she had a sister who likes a ball in her mouth, like my aunty. Pocket will teach me to tend to my balls, make sure I don't use too much tongue and don't bite hard.
I am lucky to have an angel who knows so much about balls: Yellow, red, and even blue.
I can't wait to play ball again.
Friday, May 26, 2023
Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Welcoming Nathan the Prophet
We all go to the Bridge: That's a fact, but some dogs rage against the dying light and don't leave our parent's side until every measure of our devotion has expired.
Nathan the Prophet was named so because he is a wise, all-seeing pup, so when he began to feel poorly, he knew exactly what was happening, and each night he met the darkness by saying: "Not today."
It was 19 months ago when Nathan began to show his advanced age. He began to lose control of every part of his southern region: His legs weren't working well, and the bay doors on his butt were stuck open. Momma Barbara didn't mind. When you are in a long relationship, you understand that someday one will clean the other's poop.
Nathan decided to combat his failing lower part by turning the top part to all puppy: He began to chew everything in sight and destroy things that shan't be destroyed. It was his way of saying to his mom: "I am still here, and I am not ready to leave." His mom minded this slightly more than cleaning poop. You don't have to go to the store to buy poop that has been torn to shreds.
Momma Barbara began considering aiding Nathan with his transition to the Bridge. Still, he let her know, when he was outside, that he wanted to stay despite his need for diapers and inability to get his butt on the couch. He did so by playing and barking: Announcing to the neighbors he was still there and not going anywhere.
But, inevitably, we all do have a place to go at the end, and despite all of Nathan's love and determination, this week, his mortal song came to an end, and Momma Barbara helped him cross over and took on his pain, his guilt, his suffering, and set him free.
A large group cheered Nathan as he crossed the Bridge and a large welcoming committee. He told me there must be some confusion, he wasn't a prophet, but I told him they were there for the Nathan part, not the Prophet part.
Nathan asked me to write down what he did and report it to his mom because he knew it would make her smile. He is sniffing every glistening piece of grass and tree trunk. He inspects the fences, finding holes, squeezing through them, and running freely. He stops and tells everyone he sees about the smells he encountered, then runs and sniffs, trying to burn off all the sorrow he feels about crossing and hoping his mom can see him in her dreams and that it might raise a smile.
Because that is what the Prophet said.
Thursday, May 25, 2023
Poetry Thursday
Once again, Angel Sammys and Teddys Pawetaton
have provided us with a photo for Poetry Thursday.
Here is our meager offering
Darren asked Suzie to dance, just for one song
It wouldn’t be long
Five minutes tops
At the local sock hop
She was light as a feather
As they danced together
The time flew by
Until he felt pain in his thigh
They had been dancing for many minutes more than a few
Ane looked at Frank the piano player for a cure
But Frank knew there was something very wrong
He could not find the end of the song
He heard dancer’s feet begin to drag
As he played jazz time rag
He had studied so hard the start
He had forgotten the closing part
The dancers kept going round and round
To stop in the middle of a song was upon frowned
But they were afraid of passing out
As they twirled one another about
Finally Darren spoke up
And yelled “Frank you schupp
Stop playing that damn ditty
Our dates are sweaty and not pretty
But Frank thought he could find the end
And said just hold on to his friend
He thought he could end with a flair
But that hope ended when Darren hit him with a chair
They all crawled the seats along
Some just did a fall
Frank was never asked to play piano, not even to pretend
Because he knew the beginnings but not the ends
Foley's Tales From Rainbow Bridge: Turning Ruby into A Turkey Wrangler
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