Friday, May 31, 2024

Foley's Tales From Rainbow Bridge: Oscar. the Dog Who won't be Fooled again

 


Oscar had loved a human, but that person didn't love him back, and every time he tried to show his love he was punished. He tried licking and was told to stop, he tried snuggling and was told to get down, he dropped a ball at the human's foot and it would get kicked away. When he persisted his human became violent, and the anger and frustration at life was released on the only thing that truly loved him: Oscar. Finally, the human decided to rid himself of what they thought was the cause of all their problems: That damn dog 


Oscar was dumped at a shelter with a broken heart. He didn't know what would happen to him over the rest of his life, but he knew he would never trust another human.


And he didn't. When they touched him he growled and had to be muzzled during examination. He hid in the back of his enclosure, not running to the front when a person came by. Frankly, Oscar thought it was pathetic.


A woman would come by and ask about him, standing near the cage, watching him. She told him Oscar wasn't ready to be adopted. When he has been in the shelter so long, and considered a failure there was talk of sending him to the Bridge. When the woman heard she said she would take Oscar. At least she was saving them the cost of destroying the body.


Oscar had his section of the house where his blanket was, and he only left to go into the bathroom where his pee pads were. The woman who had brought him home never asked for more than Oscar could give.


He started out growling at her and then segued into merely ignoring her, even when fed. She would let the food sit until she had gone away then eat it.


She had heard about the love between dogs and humans, but it wasn't true, and Oscar wouldn't be fooled again.


But slowly, over weeks, Oscar grew accustomed to her. He inched up when she came near, but recoiled when she tried to touch. She softly told him it was okay and retreated.


It is hard to determine what Oscar thought on Mother's Day, maybe it was time to heal his wounds, or Oscar decided to take another leap of faith and trust a human.


The woman was on the couch. Oscar stood and slowly walked to her.


She didn't want to move and scare him.


He got on the couch next to her, laid down, reached for her with his paw, moved her hand to his head, felt her warmth, and everything bad thing that happened to him was washed away.


He was home.


And then he looked at his Mom, with all that heaven would allow in his eyes.




And Oscar, his life renewed, forgot it all, considering that day his first. And every day of his life has been filled with joy.


And in his new mom's life too. 

Thursday, May 30, 2024

Poetry Thursday

 


It's Thursday and that means poetry day. Here is then picture Angel Teddy and Sammy have provided 



Well, it seems like I'm stuck in a boring meeting again

And, it seems like you are going over the same old things

Dull is pure evil, and you won't let anyone out to pee

Praying he shuts up and sets us free

Because we all desperately have to pee


Well it seems like I've been sitting in this meeting too long

And you're only the boss because your Uncle is CEO

We're beginning to fear this fool will never let us go

Will I see my spouse again? No, no, no

I'll never see my spouse again


But now I'm stuck

In this meeting that will not end

I'm stuck

Like an e-mail, I forgot to send

I'm stuck


Now it seems like my left foot has gone to sleep from sitting too long

And I am failing at suppressing a loud yawn


Because I'm stuck

Listening to this schmuck

I'm stuck

Having to pee like Donald Duck

I'm stuck

In a meeting that does suck

I'm stuck





Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Beat this Captain

 




                                     Yes  sir I am Forest Gump. People call me Forest Gump. 

Monday, May 27, 2024

Memorial Day Question of the Week

 Who is the first pup your parents remember going to the Bridge?

Prompts: dog with angel wings, in the church, saint, traditional art, 4k -  made with PicSo app : r/aiArt

for Mom, her brother's dog Smokey lived his entire life on table scraps.

For Dad, it was his sister's dog, Alice. He doesn't remember a lot about her but remembers when she left.

Sunday, May 26, 2024

The Ruby Rose Report: 17 1/2 Pounds

 

17 and a half pounds!

I could not believe my ears. I, like all dogs, hate to go to the vet with the same passion, and the same reasons humans do. It is not how we become a pin cushion with a heartbeat. It's not the prodding, the groping, or the cold stethoscope. It's not having my little lifted to see my teeth, or the harsh, chilly table, or having to put my life, even if for a few seconds. It's not the smells, the bandage from where I got stuck, or having to wait for results. 

It s that damn scale. 

Firstly, all doctors officers are built on land where the gravity is more; powerful, so our weight increases a couple of pounds, the ones that change you from healthy to obese.

When we drove to the vet’s I sat on my mom’s lap trembling. She said not to be afraid but how could I not?

Scales don’t lie, they are blunt and judgmental.

There are a lot of scary words you can hear at the doctor's but none worse than “diet.”

The last time I was at the vet I weighed 14 ½ pounds. I was afraid an increase would mean less food, and I love to eat. Breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, power lunch, afternoon tea, supper, dessert, tornado puzzle time, snuffle mat time, and late-night snack: I not only want them every day, I need them to survive.

I was picked up by a vet tech who plopped me down on the scale and announced: “17 ½ pounds.” My parents gasped. The only ones who want to be told the dog is fat less than the parents is the dog

The jury and reached a verdict: Guilty.

I was in the Judge’s hands now for sentencing

She came in the room and immediately noticed my weight change on the chart. She felt my body, picked me up, put me on the floor and licked at me, put me back on the table as I shivered, fearing the next sentence.

“She looks good,” the vet said. “Maybe a pound over, but I wouldn’t worry about it. It is probably just winter weight.”

What? No diet? No special food? No nothing?

I love this vet! This is the greatest vet ever! I want to get sick just to hang out with this wonderful vet.

The rest of me was good too, but I don’t care, I am going home and eating a snuffle mat filled with kibble.

May this be a lesson to all of you: 

Find the vet or doctor who doesn’t look att weight gain as an abomination, and never let them go.

Friday, May 24, 2024

Foley's Tales From Rainbow Bridge: A Dog in Panda's clothing.

 

My view on zoos is they aren’t for all animals, but some thrive, and I don’t judge, ‘unless I am getting paid.

At least there were no dogs at the zoo.

Until last week.

The Panda Angel bureau is a busy one because Pandas are endangered, and that makes them paranoid,so like Monks on a mountain in qasnow storm, they did a lot of praying.

Even in the safety of a zoo the pandas pray for food, attention, and their health. They never pray to be set free, which is why Fu Bao, who is the chief angell was surprised when he got a prayer request from a panda in the zoo, he was surprised that the subject was asking/for freedom. 

Fu Bao went to see the panda and came back within five minutes. I found him on my door ste and asked him if he could help the panda. “No, don’t, but I think you can,” Fu Bao said. When I asked why he informed me it as a dog.

“How could this be?” I asked.

“You have to see for yourself.”

I thought I was being punked, but I agreed to to go, if I wasn’t needed I could spend time with the pandas, who are always a good hang.

When I arrived I saw the pandas laying in the sun. I wasn’t going to bother them until one of them lifted their head qne barked.

I said “excuse me” and it barked again.

I got closer and realized that they were dogs painted to look like pandas I was an outraged and asked how this happened. 

“We were in a shelter and a man came to adopt us all. We thought we were going to out forever home, which we were, but it was outside and we were old if we wanted to eat we had to act like pandas.”

“Like drunk penguins,” I was told. I asked why they just didn’t bark.

‘We do but the Chinese know to question things is disallowed, and punishbale by death son the go along with it.”

“We will never get out of here,” one of them whined.

I vowed to help them. On the mortal side there is only one thing stronger than the Chinese government and that is pet lovers on the Internet. I whispered the story to a popular blogger and within minutes it was a national story, and the dog were brought back to the shelter, where they were immediately adopted. 

How can you resist a half panda half dog?

As for humans, don’t accept what they tell you, and looked beyond what they are wearing. You will soon see the Emperors have no clothes.





Thursday, May 23, 2024

Poetry Thursday

 

It is a new segmant of Angel Sammys and Teddys Pawetaton in pictures….here is the photoi followed by my poem. 

Who can take bananas?

Pile them on a board

Put it on his head and take a ride around town?

The Banana Man can

Oh, the Banana Man can

The Banana Man can cause he's got a flathead

And an excellent sense of balance

The Banana Man picks them personally 

Juicy, tasty, and delicious

Buy three and you can get a fourth for free

You can even eat the peels

Who can take the best of the bunch

Dip it in chocolate fudge

Create a perfect split for all your friends to judge

The Banana Man can

Oh the Banana Man can

The Banana Man can because he owns all the trees

Eliminated competition, and created a monopoly.

The Banana Man tastes everything he picks

To make sure it's delicious

Glues the peel back on and wishes

His COVID is no longer contagious 

And if he be so unfortunate

To get into a crash

He will gather the scattered fruit and make a delicious mash. 

The Banana Man can

The Banana Man can

The Banana Man can cause he shoots them full of Cannabis

And makes your life blissful


Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Beat this caption

 



Well if you had taken the God damn trash out this morning like she asked I wouldn't have knocked it over now  would I 

Monday, May 20, 2024

Monday Question

 How many primary care vets have your parents taken thier pets to?

How long have they been with their present vet?

How often should you schedule vet appointments for your dog? - A happy dog at the vet

My parents had been to seven different before they found one they liked.

They have been with this vet for four years

Sunday, May 19, 2024

Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Mitch and Molly find the Duke

 

 

Despite the vast pain caused by her passing Molly adjusted to Rainbow Bridge quickly and within days had a mission she needed to complete: To find her replacement.

She told her angel brother Mitch her plan and he agreed. But, they had an important decision to make. What kind of dog, and what kind of personality?

“I think we will want a dog like the one she most recently had,” Molly said. Mitch knew his sister meant herself, which angered her older brother, because he had not been replaced when he went to Bridge, and his Mom didn’t need to be reminded of the painful recent past. He had been gone the correct amount of time for another boy like Mitch.

The two siblings could not agree, so they went to the wisest judge at Rainbow Bridge, who just happened to be me.

 

Honestly, they both had great reasons for wanting a dog like them. Usually,ly I would be stumped, but I had recently gone to a fascinating seminar given by Fluffy protector of the sorcerer's stone at Hogwarts who was visiting from the forbidden forest and the wizard dog taught me a portion to create a dog. When I told Mitch and Molly they were excited.

Mitch brought the best of himself, and Molly the best of herself, and I followed the directions, mixed it all, and pulled out an aardvark. 

: That’s the ugliest dog I have ever seen,” Molly observed.

I announced it was an aardvark.



“I don’t think Mommy wants an aardvark,” Mitch observed.

I had to agree. Instead of concentrating on my failings I checked with my angel friends and put out an alert that we had a mom who was dogless, a situation her angels needed to rectify that situation.  

The angel network found a beautiful black dog named Duke. When I learned he was in Sturbridge Massachusetts, not too far from the farm I entered this life in, I knew he was a winner. Both Molly and Mitch loved him and whispered to me that Duke was just like them.

That night Mitch and Molly visited their mom i her dreams and stayed until she could see the idea printed on her forehead, and they knew their message had been received. The next morning their mom drove to the quaint New England town and brought home Duke who fit into her heart, and life perfectly.

I had learned a lesson, not to create a life when there are so many whose life need to be saved by love.

Mitch and Molly spend all of Duke’s waking moments with him, advising him as ghosts. They are thrilled to see their mom so happy.

It is had to get a happy ending so soon after their mom’s worst day, but that is the magic of love and angels: They bring happiness to all.

Except possibly me, who is trying to find a home for an AI aardvark..

It was a good reminder to me that there is no substitute for the real thing




Friday, May 17, 2024

Nature Friday: Somewhere that's green

After a long, cold, lonely winter, I am back taking walks and supervising my parents' yard work, which means I have put on my newsman vest and am giving an early Nature Friday report. 

Each of our gardens is named after an angel who once lived with my parents. There is the Blake garden in front, the long River butterfly garden on the side, Foley’s Saint Anthony garden at the top of the driveway, the little Pocket garden behind that, and in the back, the Rose garden, which,  a long time from now, will be named for me.

We start with the Blake Garden, named after my parents’ first dog together, a Shih Tzu, who served as a role model for Foley, who would go on to be a role model for the world. 

There isn’t much going on in Blake’s Garden right now. It has been freshly mulched, and I heard on the Bloom Rumor Line that they are planning for a fabulous late May show.

River’s garden is freshly mulched and has some cool new toys in it. There is a water can that lights up at night, connected to another solar light, that was supposed to look like a fireworks but stopped working. The watering can share its light so they can both sparkle.

River also asked for a solar butterfly wind chime, which we provided for her, so we can see the butterflies all day and night; a metal windmill that expands and contracts when the wind blows, and an orange gaze ball, that frankly, does nothing for me.

River’s garden gets a lot of sun, so it has to have special plants. It is a good spot for ground cover. The Moss phlox is thriving and ready to grab more living space. 

The common speedwell is at the end of River’s garden, near the road, a heart plant that gives the residents some beauty as they drive slowly around the village trying to remember where they live. 

The highlight of River’s garden, the twin Butterfly bushes, are beginning to thrive, after being cut back in March. 

In Foley’s garden, it has been expanded to include the two fern trees, that have had their lower branches removed because it tends to, like Foley, overshadow anything smaller and more delicate

The moss phlox here is looking beautiful. Saint Anthony is out for the season. There is a solar light at Saint Anthony's base that causes him to be lit in the dark. The cats have adopted him as their savior and after midnight they genuflect in front of him until dawn.

There isn’t much happening in the yet-to-be-mulched Pocket garden and my Rose garden but I am predicting big things in the coming weeks.

Thank you for taking a tour of my pre-blooms. Hopefully, the next time I report they will be stunning. 



Thursday, May 16, 2024

Poetry Thursday


Once again, Angel Sammys and Teddys Pawetaton have provided us with a photo for Poetry Thursday.

Here it is, followed by my own meager effort


 Some said Kaiser Puppy was a myth

Others said he was a pug not to be messed with

If he got caught he plead the fifth.

 Then mowed down the ones who betrayed him with a sharpened scythe

 

To bring him down Sheriff Benjamin planted in Kaiser's organization an under cover.

A black cat who was too old for this shit and properly named Glover.

He lay under Kaiser's bed confident in the number of bad plans his would discover

And wrote down each word that was said above

 

Benjamin turned the information over to the police chief

 Who got a warrant from Foley to arrest Kaiser the bone thief

And lured Kaiser and his men out with a cured side of beef.

When he saw the police his hunger turned to grief.

 

He was patted down on the wall like a common hood

His first dad arrived and wondered what went  wrong: He used to be so good

He told his dad he had to earn a livelihood

And would have done better if he could

 

Kaiser knew the Judge would throw the book at him.

And he waited for his sentence to be read with a face very grim

 The Judge gave him life with the hope of parole being slim

He was headed for the hoosegow. for jail is was a synonym.

 

Before he could be carted off his dad asked to be heard.

But the Judge told him not to say a word.

But Kaiser's dad could not be deterred

And insisted Kaiser came home with him until the Judge concurred

 

When Kaiser got home with his dad he thought is was a dream

He got fed three time a day and at night ice cream

People who saw the dog and dad were unaware that things weren't as they seem

Because Kaiser and his Dad were ripping off seniors in a well planned ponzi scheme

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, May 14, 2024

Beat This Caption

The last thing a TSA agent sees before a taking a medical leave for stress



Monday, May 13, 2024

Monday Question

 Did you give your mom anything for Mother's Day?

I gave her a Willow Tree figurine of a woman holding a puppy.

I may only be a dog but I know Mom's want something on Mother's Day.

Many humans fail at doing this. 

Sunday, May 12, 2024

The Ruby Rose Report: Momma's Song

 a

It's a little bit funny. 

This Feeling inside

And not just because I ate a pound of rawhide

I don’t have opposable thumbs but boy if I did

On Mother’s Day I would fill with roses this house we both do live

I wouldn’t want to be a lion of this I know

Or a bear leaving tracks in the snow

I am glad to be a dog through and through

My gift is my bark and this one’s for you

And you can tell everybody

That bark is for me

It may may be shrill, sharp and loud

But it’s filled with love

I hope you don’t mind

I hope you don’t mind

That I peed on the floor

I didn’t have enough time to make it to the doggy door

I sat on the porch

and barked like a boss

The kitties who live underneath 

Made me quite cross

Them living down there is not wrong

As long as they know to me, mom belongs

Excuse me for farting

It’s something I do

It can no more be controlled

Than a cow going moo

Anyway, the thing is

What I wanted to say

My world became complete the day I met you

And you can tell everybody 

That dog is barking for me

you may not be able to tell, 

but its full of love

I hope you don’t mind

I hope you don’t mind

Nor think she’s mean

She’s the sweetest dog I’ve ever seen

I hope you don’t mind

I hope you don’t mind

That I barked out the words

You are the greatest mom in the whole wide world

Friday, May 10, 2024

Tales From Rainbow Bridge: Cricket

 


I made sure that all of my angel friends lined the walkway from the Bridge to where I stood to swear in the newest angel.

Usually, a well-loved pet passed over the Bridge. But today a dog who saw very little love was due, and not one who never found a family, but one that found the worst family.

Sometimes dogs don’t remember the moments before they passed over, and we hoped it was true of this dog because never had a dog suffered a worse transition.

Cricket was coming to Rainbow Bridge. I made sure that all of my angel friends lined I made that all of my angel friends lined the walkway from the Bridge to where I 

Usually, a well-loved pet passed over the Bridge. But today, a dog who saw very little love that he was due, and not because he had never found a family, but found the worst family.

Sometimes, dogs do not remember the moments before they passed over, and we hoped it was true of this dog because never had a pup suffered a worse transition.

Cricket was coming to Rainbow Bridge.

It is always a shame when a dog who is only fourteen months old crosses the Bridge, but Cricket’s circumstances make it even sadder.

He was a rambunctious, happy dog who loved to go on hunting trips with his parents. Sure, he never hurt anything, it wasn’t in his nature. Maybe he would grow into it one day.

He knew his mom was growing frustrated with his slow learning, but, lots of moms felt that way, and soon he would learn.

But one day his mom lost patience with him.

 From the moment he laid eyes on his mom he loved her, and even though she was cold and snappish, Cricket loved his mom wholeheartedly. He would follow her anywhere.

Like a gravel pit, where his impatient, cold-hearted soulless mom put a gun to Cricket’s head and killed probably the only soul on earth who loved her completely despite her many flaws, and who never would have hurt her.

Tragically, we get dogs killed by their owner several times a year, and their passing is always hard. But, we only had one mom who bragged about it, in a book, thinking it would help her achieve the second highest office in the land.

Thankfully, the terror of his passing was blocked from his mind. He only remembered walking with his mom. He was worried about her. We said she was fine and left it at that. Hopefully, he never will.

We were all bound to make Cricket’s afterlife filled with love. Our human dog lovers like Aunt Laura, Aunt Michelle, Aunt Kimberli, and Aunt Ginny work around the clock to make sure Cricket doesn’t have a moment when he feels unloved.

We discussed what punishment his vicious mom should receive for killing an innocent soul who loved her unconditionally.

We decided to let her dream come true.

She will soon be a Vice-President nominee for a major United States political party. She will get elected. Then, in 2028, when the President demands the outcome of the election be overturned, and she refuses, she will be dragged out of the Capitol building by the President’s supporters, and then hung on the Washington Mall. 

And for good measure, she will be shot.

To death.

Like a dog. 

It is always a shame when a dog who is only fourteen months old crosses the Bridge, but Cricket’s circumstances make it even sadder.

He was a rambunctious happy dog who loved to go on hunting trips with his parents. Sure, he never hurt anything, it wasn’t in his nature. Maybe he would grow into it one day,

He knew his mom was growing frustrated with his slow learning, but lots of moms felt that way, and soon he would learn.

Because one day his mom lost patience with him.

He didn’t know she had ill intent. What dogs do? From the moment he laid eyes on his mom he loved her, and even though she was cold and snappish, Cricket loved his mom wholeheartedly. He would follow her anywhere.

Like a gravel pit, where his impatient, cold-hearted soulless mom put a gun to Cricket’s head and killed probably the only soul on earth who loved her completely despite her many flaws, and never would have hurt her.

Tragically, we get dogs killed by their owner several times a year, and their passing is always hard. But, we only had one mom who bragged about it, in a book, thinking it would help her achieve the second highest office in the land.

Thankfully, the terror of his passing was blocked from his mind. He only remembered walking with his mom. He was worried about her. We said she was fine and left it at that. Hopefully, he never will.

We were all bound to make Cricket’s afterlife filled with love. Our human dog lovers like Aunt Laura, Aunt Michelle, Aunt Kimberli, and Aunt Ginny work around the clock to make sure Cricket doesn’t have a moment when he feels unloved.

We discussed what punishment his vicious mom should receive for killing an innocent soul who loved her unconditionally.

We decided to let her dream come true.

She will soon be a Vice-President nominee for a major United States political party. She will get elected. Then, in 2028, when the President demands the outcome of the election be overturned, and she refuses, she will be dragged out of the Capitol building by the President’s supporters, and then hung on the Washington Mall. 

And for good measure, she will be shot.

To death.

Like a dog. 


Thursday, May 9, 2024

Poetry Thursday

   


Once again, Angel Sammys and Teddys Pawetaton have provided us with a photo for Poetry Thursday.


Sally lost a tooth after an altercation with an adversary.

Her mom promised her toothless situation would be temporary

And to put the tooth under her pillow and wait for something extraordinary

Because she would be visited by the tooth fairy.



But, her mom was unaware, for the fairy times had fallen on hard times

Back when he was in his prime

He only had to leave a dime

But, inflation and greed had caused the amount to climb. 


He tried to recoup his losses through bets

But blew all his money wagering on the Mets and the Jets 

Then he made a deal he would soon regret

When he had to protect the children from the potential buyer: Matt Gaetz


The Tooth Fairy had debts no honest fairy could pay

The bank took his wand, his crown, and his best wings away

He lost it all, a homeless fairy with nowhere to stay

And spent his last dollar on a girl from Piscataway


When Sally lost his tooth he had no revenue

But he didn’t want the toothless girl to be blue

So he snuck into the bedroom of the ingenue

To place under her pillow and IOU.


His mother caught the dairy over his daughter’s bed

And she felt a rage wanting to make him dead

But for his life he pled

“I’m just a bankrupt tooth fairy,” he said.


She believed the fairy but would not let his leaving no money pass

But his lack of money caused an impasse.

Until she made a deal with him that he thought was crass

That once a week the tooth fairy would cut their grass




Foley's Tail From Rainbow Bridge: How An Angel Handle Annoying Prayers

  I am an angel judge so I am required to answer all prayers, even the most annoying ones. The most annoying prayers come from my Dad.  M...