Friday Fill Ins

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in blue

• My plans for August include going to a nursing home to visit a frail senior with locked-in syndrome and barking at his unresponsive face in an attempt to launch my two-actor musical Paul v Fauci.
• If am a type B personality and you know what that stands for: Beautiful. Wait! You! The one looking at the screen right now reading this. Did you say “B for bitch?” Where do you get off? I am beautiful; not a bitch and if you don't learn that in the hurry up I will cut you in your sleep.
• If cuteness were a currency I would be rich. Did I hear bitchiness? Which one of you said that? One more outburst and you will all be kept after blog.
• I can do a good impression of a dog who is interested in what their parents are saying,

Thursday Poetry

 

Once again Angel Sammys and and Teddys Pawetatonc have challenged us to write a poem about the picture below.  Please to enjoy

Tim and Mary were together forever. 

And were ready to undergo a great endeavor

But Tim kept thinking however

There was something he couldn't place which would cause their love to sever

Mary thought she knew what was best

Which for her would be a tryst

With Tim a man better than rest

How could he resist

Tim had thought he was the man for the job

And was anxiously looking for her to polish his knob

But then he saw a familiar spot on her back which made him want to get a swab

Or face the wrath of a lynch mob

Mary could not explain his lack of interest

Like a new bride ignoring wedding pages on pinterest

His urges he was trying to repress

And looked away when she flashed her breasts

Tim waited for the results with a pressing presage

As he kept looking at his phone for the message

And one day he thought what was wrong with from her a little massage

And almost caused an unwanted expressage

Then Tim got the news he did not want like no other

And thank God his baser instincts he was able to smother

The spot on Mary’s back was just like his mother

And he told Mary he was her half brother

Mary said it was no reason for him to go

She didn't want kids and loved him so

And he realized his sister was a nympho

But she was hot and available and like an Dragonstone Targaryen he chose to go with the flow

Wordless Wednesday

 

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Beat This Caption

 

Despite booking weeks in advance, and paying a surcharge, George still found himself in the middle seat.

Monday Question

 Where do you go when you want to get away from it all?

Ruby’s Answer- my dog bed. On one side is a hutch and on another side is a love seat. Behind me is a wall so I am protected on three sides.

Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

 Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms. Four
worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
So the Science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment."
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said - "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms."    

  

L

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.

"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

"Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?"

"Opened a can of peas instead.

Friday Fill ins

 

It’s Friday Fill In time. Ruby’s fill ins are in blu

Chicken is my favorite kind of cake.

The best part of my week was getting fed pieces of spicy chicken from Chick Filet until the spices aggravated my nose, and snozzeled for two and a half minutes.

I enter a room full of strangers I find one timid old lady who I make eyes at, and then when she comes over to pat me, I snarl and bark at her, causing her to whoop in fear and back away. Then my work is done.

If I opened a restaurant, it would be called ”eat me” and would serve kibble to see how you humans like this dry ass pebbles then when you get thirsty. I will serve you a bowl of water that may or may not have been sitting out for a few days and has chunks of strange stuff floating around in it, and of which I cannot guarantee that other people have not been drinking from before you.