Friday fill-ins

Gather around the sleigh , its time for Friday Fill Ins There are four statements: the first two statements are written by 15AndMeowing, and the final two are done  by  Four-Legged Furballs. Please check them out.  Here are this week's statements with my fill ins are in CAPITALS 

The easiest person on my Christmas list to buy for is THE OLD MAN IN THE WHEELCHAIR WHO GIVES ME TREATS. I AM GETTING HIM TREATS. OR, I MAY JUST EAT THEM AND ELIMINATE THE MIDDLE MAN.

The toughest one in my Christmas list to buy for is TAYLOR SWIFT. APPARENTLY SHE HAS MADE ALL THE LISTS. I MIGHT GET HER A LOG. I HEAR THE LADY RESPECTS WOOD. 

I try to spread Christmas cheer by LETTING MY MILKSHAKE BRING ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD. 

When it comes to HAVING THE EFFECT OF THREE VISITING SELF RIGHTEOUS PREACHY GHOSTS WHO COME INTO YOUR DREAMS TO CRITICIZE EVERY DECISION YOU EVER MADE, WEAR OFF BY BOXING DAY I am a bit of a Scrooge.

Poetry Thursday

 

 

My friend who is one spoiled cat gave me the picture below for the Thursday Poetry blog

Mary worked as a printer

And in a finger she got a splinter

Fearing infection and despite it being winter

She ran to the emergency room like a sprinter

II

The doctor removed the splinter and gave her assurance

That the injury would not be a regular occurance

At work the next day she made an appearance she got an email saying her visit was not covered by insurance

IIi

She was told not to worry she just needed to fill out a form.

Which quickly to ten they did transform

For the doctors the nurses the aides and the clerks anyone who on her did an act perform

Until the paperwork became a perfect storm.

IV

She asked to expedite the matter she could pay out of pocket

And was told if hospitals took cash they wouldn’t turn a profit 

And the mere suggestion pushed her further down the docket

And now needed to take the forms and fill them out in the opposite 

V

There were so many forms they began to take over her desk

Food and coffee became buried - it was grotesque 

Mary was turning zombiesque

It was far from picturesque

VI

One day Mary disappeared 

Foul play was feared

The boss ordered her desk cleared

When under a stack Mary was found the staff cheered

VII

She was unconscious and paper scarred 

They rushed her to the ER and Mary was taken by a guard

But the doctors said they would not help her - she was barred

Unless for her someone produced an insurance card

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

 

Once again Martha had spent all day on a hot stove only to have Jake show up half in the bag

Monday Question

 Are you going to be on the family Christmas card this year and gave you or anyone in your pack been on one?

Ruby’s Answer: I have been on my family’s last three Christmas cards and will again this year. Since the beginning  of the century a dog has always been on their card.

Sunday Funnies

An eold man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow, green, orange, and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him.

Finally the boy said, "what's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

The old man thought for a while and answered, "well yes actually, I have, I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."  

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year.

Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year Martha would say, "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.

This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance. "

Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go.

The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard.

He does all his tricks over a gain, but still not a word.

They land and the pilot turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk.

"That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill.”

Friday Fill-ins

Gather around the sleigh , its time for Friday Fill Ins There are four statements: the first two statements are written by 15AndMeowing, and the final two are done  by  Four-Legged Furballs. Please check them out.  Here are this week's statements with my fill ins are in CAPITALS 

My Christmas tree goes up IN THE MOST INCONVENIENT PLACE POSSIBLE. I GET UP LATE AT NIGHT TO PEE AND SUDDENLY THERE IS A TREE IN MY WAY. I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE JESUS WAS BORN UP A TREE. HUMANS HAVE ON THEIR WALLS WHERE HE DIED WHY NOT WHERE HE WAS BORN? BUT IT TURNS OUT HE WAS BORN IN A BARN. I GUESS I SHOULD BE HAPPY WHEN I HAVE TO PEE IN THE HOLIDAY SEASON THAT I DON’T NEED TO WALK THROUGH A BARN. HUMANS! I am thankful for THE OLD GUY IN A WHEELCHAIR IN THE LOBBY WHO ALWAYS GIVES ME PUPERONI TREATS. THERE’S A GUY SOMEBODY SHOULD ERECT A TREE FOR. I AM ALREADY SICK OF THE COLD WEATHER by the time December rolls around. I’ll be spending a lot of time FIGURING HOW I CAN DRAG THE TREE INTO THE HALLWAY, INTO THE ELEVATOR, DOWN A FLOOR AND INTO THE LOBBY TO GIVE TO THE TREAT GUY IN THE WHEELCHAIR WHO COULD USE A TREE.