Beat This Caption

 

"Hello Jungle Movers? This is Mr. Wilson. None of my stuff was delivered to my apartment. Yes, I'm# sure. Even my trunk is missing

Monday Question

 

What do you do when you alone?

If I am in a crate I sit and sulk but if I am loose I sit in a chair, look out the window, and bark at anything that comes near

The Ruby Rose Report: A Dashing Dog

 

The problems of the tumultuous world crashed into our house at the beginning of June when my Dad got laid off from General Mills after 13 years.

It was not unexpected. Over the last few months, his employer had been giving him busy work, which was not only a waste of time but also prevented him from doing the job he was paid to do. This is what employers do when they are about to lay off a large number of staff, hoping to get them to leave before the layoff to cut down on the unemployment insurance hit. 

My Dad had prepared for the eventuality, and the day after he was laid off, he began to work for DoorDash, delivering food, drinks, and groceries to people under the delusion that they could spend double for a bacon cheeseburger because they had a surplus of money and a deficiency of time. 

My Dad has never minded working but he doesn’t like leaving Mommy and me at home so once a week we go with him. My Mommy and he talk, and I sit in the back, in my car seat, happy to tag along,

Until they tried to kill me.,

Like all near-death experiences, it began innocently enough. DoorDash gives the workers their assignment through an app, so when Daddy knocked the phone off the holder, and it went flying, he had to find it.

Daddy searched below the seats, pushed the seats back and forth, stuck his hands down the side of the seats, and could not find it. He removed the floor mats to no avail. He was stumped.

The phone had somehow landed perfectly in the track the seats sit in which allows it to go back and forth. Angry that such a freak occurrence had occurred and cost him time and money, he threw the mats in the car, put it in drive, and began to travel.

We were in a parking lot, and the car began to rapidly accelerate towards a row of parked cars. My Dad tried to stop and couldn’t. The floor mat was wedged under the brake, and over the gas. We were a tiny runaway train.

Within seconds of crashing Daddy decided a busted transmission was better than a crash and slipped the car into park.

The angels must have been with us because the slipping of a moving vehicle into park did no damage to the car and the rest of the day occurred without event.

As for me, I am raring to go again.

As long as there is a doggy seat belt. 

Nature Friday

This week, after a much-needed pruning to cut away shoots that were not blooming, the 100-year-old rambling rose bush bloomed.

Taking care of the rose bush is a year-round occupation, which might seem a lot for a plant that is only in bloom for two weeks, but for gardeners, it is labor worth a brief result.

For those who don’t know, the 100-year-old rambling rose bush began as my Dad’s grandad's dream while in the trenches in World War I. He said if God allowed him to go home someday he would do nothing but take care of rose bushes his entire life.

When he got home he pulled a shoot out of the only place he knew the Krauts wouldn’t find it, his ass.

Wait…that’s not the right story.

When he got home he bought the rose bush, and his two children took shoots from it and planted them i their yards, and the grandkids did the same, and now the rose bush grows in several locations across Massachusetts.

Daddy was watering it today when Dirty Cat, who was born under the house a couple of years ago, and never strays too far from its birth home showed up and asked if the kitchen was open. “I will gladly give you a mouse on Tuesday for some kibble today,” he said.

Daddy got a handful of cat food he kept to feed the feral and tossed it towards Dirty Cat. 

Daddy went back to watering the gardens when he saw a black and white cat, Jimmy the Gent, sneaking up. Daddy doesn’t believe in interfering with nature, but he was considering squirting Jimmy the Gent when Dirty Cat lifted his tail and let out a sharp cry of warning.

Jimmy the Gent slinked away.

Whether it is a dream of a rose bush that lasts a hundred years, or a tiny cat living off scraps scaring off a foe, nature has a way of protecting the underdog allowing them to thrive. 

Poetry Thursday

Meet George Jetson

Jane his wife

He had read a lesson

About living in the air, high above the strife

II

First George bought an Aerocar

That he couldn’t help but show off

Despite Elon’s design the flying car didn’t go far

And his friends told him airborne cars were best left to Asimov

III

Buttt, George would not relinquish the dream of Star City

High in the sky amongst family and friends

Living in the clouds would be pretty   

Seeing a world without end

IV

What George needed was financial backers

If his sky city idea would come true

But the money men told him he was clearly crackers

And George cursed them because no one wanted to invest in anything new

V

So George built the house himself

And called it a sky home even though it did not get off the ground

Jane moved in with him on September 12th

With Astro a basset hound. 

VI

After ten years George finally finished his home

In the center was an engine that began to roar

The house lifted and burst through the atmospheric dome

And into space the house did soar

VII

Judy laughed then asked how they got down

A startled George dropped his coffee cup

And said to Judy with  a frown

“I only built it to go up.”

Wordless Wednesday

 

Beat This Caption

I called this morning and specifically said to put the red book aside for me. I come in, and this cat has the red book. 

I want to see the manager because someone is going to pay,