Thursday, October 23, 2025

Poetry Thursday

 

 

My friend who is one spoiled cat gave me the picture below for the Thursday Poetry blog

The Big Fat Asian Baby had no eggs with her beef

And she cried loudly spreading her grief

What she did next was beyond belief

She became China’s greatest fresh egg thief


“Why aren’t the chickens laying eggs?” Farmer Brown said

He had been keeping them well fed

Then he spots over by the shed

The Big Fat Asian Baby eating an egg on bread


The chickens knew who stole the eggs

A tiny little hand slipping through their legs

It was the Big Fat Asian Baby they did peg

And vowed to knock the Big Fat Asian Baby off its bowlegs


Big Fat Asian Baby was enjoying her eggs both small and big

But the lack of bacon was keeping her from dancing a jig

And to prove that she, The Big Fat Asian Baby didn’t give a fig

She snuck on the farm and stole a pig


The pigs and chickens vowed to fight

But Big Fat Asian Baby struck at night

When pigs and chickens don’t have clear sight

And Big Fat Asian Baby stole more eggs adding to the barnyard plight


Big Fat Asian Baby was enjoying her chow

But she wanted something to drink right now

The way to do this she knew how

She snuck on the farm and walked off with the cow


The Big Fat Asian Baby was having fun

But her parents grew worried after she milked their son

Could they stop her or did they have to go on the run

Because Lord knew what Big Fat Asian Baby could do with a gun





Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Beat This Caption

                                         

I'm the angry bird.

I have been pissed off for 30 years.

  1. Where are my fucking residuals?

Monday, October 20, 2025

Monday Question?

 If I threw a ball would you chase it?

Ruby's answer: Why would I do that? I didn't throw it

Friday, October 17, 2025

FILL IN THE BLANKS

 It is time for Friday Fill-Ins.

Can I get a hell year?

There are four statements: the first two statements are written by 15AndMeowing, and the final two are done  by  Four-Legged Furballs. Please check them out. 

Here are this week's statements with my fill ins CAPITALIZED.

  1. My NOSE is SORE because WE MOVED AND I HAVE TO SNIFF EVERYTHING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS GOING ON.  
  2. I stopped WONDERING WHERE MY FIFTEEN POUND BAG OF BACON WAS because I REMEMBERED I ONLY HAD IT IN MY DREAMS.
  3. I’m GLAD I MOVED away from A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE KEPT WALKING DOWN MY STREET AND DID NOT RESPECT MY AUTHORITY.
  4. LOSING A KIBBLE THAT ROLLED UNDER THE REFRIGERATOR IS the scariest experience I’ve ever had in my own home.  

Thursday, October 16, 2025

There and Not Back Again

 

Oh, what a week we have had. The movers came early and stole our stuff. I barked at them but no one stopped them. Then I got in the car and we drove back to the building we visited. Mommy and I sat in the big common area. People came up to me and I gave them licks, which is strange because I usually growl at people. 

When the movers finished Daddy brought Mommy upstairs to the cramped, dark apartment filled with boxes and furniture and said “Please tell me we are not living here,”

In her defense, she had a screaming migraine that lasted for five days, which incapacitated her, and caused Daddy to have to do all the unpacking.

As everyone who has moved knows the most important things always fall to the bottom of the boxes. 

The apartment is different from the house, but has close to the same amount of floor space, so everything fits. Slowly, for Mommy, as the boxes were emptied, and broken down, which is low-key the worst thing about moving, the apartment began to feel more like home.

The place is made for moderns and has key fobs instead of keys. On the first night, Daddy went to get one of the boxes they had moved by car. He came back in, held the fob up to the reader, and nothing happened. He tried several more times until he realized he was locked out! He tried the intercom but Mommy didn’t know how to use it. It was 9:00 PM, the building was filled with seniors over 55, and everyone was sleeping. Daddy ran around the very big building until he found a woman walking her dog who let him in.

The televisions were made for moderns too and didn’t have buttons to turn them on, so we had to watch TV for the first few days on our phones. Daddy went back to the house and got a bunch of things but none of them turned on the TVs. He went to Best Buy to get a Universal remote to make the TV work, but it couldn’t connect to the Internet. Then he called Xfinity and after navigating through the AI, he talked to someone who made him unplug the modem hard-wired into the wall in Mommy’s cramped closet, then turn off the TV, then run around the building and cluck like a chicken. After an hour the man said we were all set and all we had to do was open an email he sent.

He never sent the email.

So in a blind rage he called gain, made his way through the army of bots preventing him from speaking to a real person, finally reaching one, and as soon as the poor girl picked up he berated her, until she got the Internet working, and then he had to apologize to her like a little boy who had just yelled at his mom.

The next day he had to deal with the cable company, and finally got a hold of a person/bot named Bosphur who made Daddy unplug the modem several times and run around the house and cluck like a chicken. At 3:30 in the morning, Bosphur said he was all set and all Daddy had to do was turn on the TV. Daddy said it would take a while for the box reboot. When it did the cable was not working, He picked up the phone to tell him that and Bosphur had flown away on his magic carpet.

Serenity now!

Two days later the cable TV  was working. We had no idea who the masked man was who turned on and we never got a chance to thank him.

On Saturday morning, at 3:30 AM Daddy completed the move-in, but there were still little things to do to keep us busy, and it wasn’t until Sunday that the charger was found for our tablet. 

But it still took two days for life to return to normal for us enough to post here, and there are still many pictures to hang.

Now, for the old house.

I have had fun writing about the feral cats who live under the house. Recently the Boston ASPCA has been setting traps and they removed the cats from the site. Yay!

But, we lived in a village with 150 houses built over cement slabs with floor vents which meant as soon as the cats moved away the mice moved in and when they moved my parents found scat along the walls and in the closets. We had mice.

So Daddy quickly formed a plan. He would hire a cleaner, an exterminator, and someone to blow in some fallen insulation.

But, the night we moved, someone made an offer. Yay! And they were having an inspection the next day. (Groan.) Of course, the inspection went poorly, and my parents were afraid the sale would fall through, but the people dropped their offer $15,000 which brought the cost down to what my parents were planning on asking.

So, we are waiting for hopefully a closing date.

And that is the story of our very big move.

Mommy has come to like the place, but is still frustrated, since Daddy did all the unpacking, where anything is. 

But, she is finding the bathroom, which is half the battle when you move.

Sunday, October 5, 2025

Moving Day

 I want to announce I may not be around for a few I want to announce I may not be around for a few days because we are moving on Tuesday to a deluxe apartment in the sky (actually the second floor).

Mommy is going to need some senior services and that is one of the reasons they are moving. We want to keep ahead because she is a senior apartment renter turning into her even more senior parents.

I have been there twice. There are two living room windows I can look out of that overlook the putting green and pickleball courts. I plan to do a lot of barking to upset their concentration.

My parents are looking forward to not being responsible for all the appliances breaking down, or shoveling snow. They will miss the gardens but Mommy could no longer care for them.

One thing I did not like in the new place is the little room in the lobby that goes up and down. I am not used to a moving floor. 

I am hoping to have many adventures there all of which I will report to you.

The next time I talk to you will be from the town of Foxboro MA. 

Until then I wish you all the best. because we are moving on Tuesday to a deluxe apartment in the sky (actually the second floor).

Mommy is going to need some senior services and that is one of the reasons they are moving. We want to keep ahead because she is a senior apartment renter turning into her even more senior parents.

I have been there twice. There are two living room windows I can look out of that overlook the putting green and pickleball courts. I plan to do a lot of barking to upset their concentration.

My parents are looking forward to not being responsible for all the appliances breaking down, or shoveling snow. They will miss the gardens but Mommy could no longer care for them.

One thing I did not like in the new place is the little room in the lobby that goes up and down. I am not used to a moving floor. 

I am hoping to have many adventures there all of which I will report to you.

The next time I talk to you will be from the town of Foxboro MA. 

Until then I wish you all the best.

Poetry Thursday

    My friend who is one spoiled cat gave me the picture below for the Thursday Poetry blog The Big Fat Asian Baby had no eggs with her...