4. I can’t go to sleep without (spinning around for five minutes, digging on the sheets for another ten, and continue to get up and sigh for an hour until my parents are awake.)
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“Honey, the light is out” Mary told Tom
Tom got a bulb off the shelf
In despair Mary covered her mouth with her palm
Tom was going to replace the light himself
The light was high on a pole
And harder to reach than a Christmas tree star if you’re an elf
But Tom was determined not to pay someone to reach his goal
He would do it himself.
He remembered he loaned out a ladder to cousin Stu’
Who probably took in with him when he moved across the sea to Delph
Loaning the ladder was something he knew he wouldn rue
But it wouldn’t stop him from doing the job himself
Mary looked out the window and saw him stacking tables
She asked what he was doing and he said building a shelf
To not yell at him took all the patience she was able
She was sure he would kill himself.
Tom still could not reach the light but from high up he could see his neighbor’s step ladder in his yard
Tom was able to bring it into his yard exhibiting great stealth.
With a ladder on the top of the tables reaching the light wasn’t hard.
Soon he would show his wife he could do it all by his self.
He climbed the ladder slowly
Then waved to his cousin Ralph
Which caused him to slip and fall through the tables like Mick Foley
And think he should not have tried to do it himself.
Mary rushed outside to find her husband’s broken body
Shocked at what he had done to himself
And even though she could match her husband in do it yourself work that is very shoddy
She decided to bury him herself.
Burt suddenly awoke to the shocking realization that Deborah Kerr had been washed away by the tide
Have your parents ever taken you to Petco or PetSmart?
Did you like it?
Have you ever been taken advantage of their veterinary services?
I went once but didn't like the fuss and the other dogs.
Despite the savings my parents would rather take me to the vet office.
Monday was an exciting and tense day, as it always is when Daddy takes on a do-it-yourself project.
Daddy has trouble looking at a diagram and being able to repeat it. He has similar problems picturing how something should go together after reading directions. I am sure there is a -term for it: Back in the 70s it was called stupid.
We have a large bay window in the living room facing west. With no trees on that side of the house when the sun gets high in the western sky the living room turns into an oven.
My Dad, when he was a child, liked at Christmas time, to open the Sears catalog and make a list of everything there he wanted. For him, many years later, Amazon has taken the place of the catalog and when Daddy sees something he wants he puts it on a wish list, and with one click he has it delivered not by Santa, but by overworked men in dark suits They don’t even get milk or cookies.
When looking through the Amazon catalog he found film, that can be put on the windows and block the sun from heating the house.
He ordered it right away.
I tried to bark at him that he should measure the windows but he was sure the film would be enough.
Like a virgin trying to get laid by watching Netflix with his girlfriend, the film wasn’t enough.
Daddy made one good choice before starting, he had Mommy read the directions, to cover for his two biggest weaknesses: Reading and understanding.
Daddy measured the window then the film and wonder upon wonder it was too small.
We have two large flags on the porch, one of a Griffon, and one of a Yorkie. The Griffon one was, of course, sturdier, and Daddy suggested using it along with the film to block the bright sun.
Thanks to Mommy’s careful reading and instructions Daddy was able to remove the blinds without knocking anything over. He was slightly stumped about peeling the backing off the film but got it done without using any HBO words. He found a sprayer deep under the bathroom sink where the wild things were and sprayed down the film. He filled a pot with soapy water, washed the windows, and put the film on. We were even able to put hooks above the window and hang the Griffon flag. He did so well.
Then he thought of securing the glad to the window with tape, but he put the tape on the film and almost brought the entire contraption down.
He never should have done something not in the directions.
But, he was able to remove the tape without any HBO words.
It was all done with very little drama.
If you ask me it was darn disappointing.
My parents are falling behind on their blogging but that is okay, because it gives me, Ruby the chance to participate in 15 and Meowing Friday Friendly Fill Ins and give you a dog's perspective. My answers are in blue.
