Beat This Caption

 

C'mon, your sister is obviously into it. Now just lie down in the street, let me climb on top of you, and we can make a new meaning to the term four-way intersection.

Monday Question

 Do you have a special spot in your house? If so, where is it and what's in it?

I have a mat in front of the TV with my puzzle toy, my snuffle mat, and a bed. Then behind that is the crate that I sometimes use when I wanna hide out.

Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

 

 

I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees.
The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.
“You’ve given me one too many” I said
“That one is a freebie.”

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"

"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."

"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"

"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy.

"What do you mean her speech impediment?"

inquired the first fellow.

"My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"

"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down, waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine and put her nickel in and out came a card that said, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs., and you are going to Chicago, Illinois."

She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again. She put her nickel in, and out came a card that read, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You're going to Chicago, Illinois, and you are going to play a fiddle."

The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong. I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life." She sat back down. From out of nowhere, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and started playing beautiful music.

Startled, she look back at the machine and said, "This is incredible! I've got to try it again!

Back to the machine she went, put her nickel in, and another card came out. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you're going to Chicago, Illinois, and you're going to break wind."

Now, the nun knew the machine was wrong. "I've never broken wind in public in my whole life!" Just then, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind.

Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, "This is truly unbelievable! I've got to try it one more time."

She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago!!!"

Friday Friendly Fill ins

 

It's Friday Fill-in time, posted by one spoiled cat and 15 Meowing. Ruby's fill-ins are underlined.

• I skimp on clothes. I don't wear clothes, so I do more than skimp on them. I skamp. My sisters Foley and Pocket used to wear clothes, and I think River did once, but I'll pass. Thank you. You don't put clothes on Michelangelo's David, and you don't put clothes on the most beautiful girl in the world.
• ,I tend to save on Netflix. I'm not the one who pays for it, but I watch it. Frankly, I don't have any idea what's going on, but I still watch it. I watched to see ifEmu and Jeff turned  up. I hate Emu and Jeff. I have a fatwa against Emu and Jeff. Anyway, I've digressed. I like to Netflix and chill. My parents watch Network, and I chill under a blanket.
• I've nearly perfected myself. I'm not sure what I can do to reach perfection. I may be there already. But I think a new hairstyle or some eyeliner might do it. Who am I kidding? I'm just a natural beauty.
• I need to find a better way to take over the world. I know, it's hard to take over the world when you sleep 16 hours a day because there's so much going on. My motto: sleep softly and chew on a big stick. I don't know if that'll get me world domination, but it sounds good on a bumper sticker.

Wordless

 

Beat This Caption

Tony Montana’s little seen cat Chi Chi

Monday Question

If your pet could say one thing to you what would it be?

Ruby’s Answer - “don’t leave.”