Dear Santa: I Really Am A Good Dog by River Song

Dear Santa Paws:

How are you?  I read that scientist say the ice is melting up where you are.  I hope that doesn’t cause a problem for you.  I always imagined you have white, fluffy snow.  I hope it isn’t cold and wet.  A fat man shouldn’t be shoveling wet snow.

I am writing to make sure that there is no misunderstanding between us.  I am a very happy dog who loves her parents very much.

I can see why you might think otherwise.  I was born, and have carried through life, with this expression on my face.

This is what is known as a resting Griff face. This picture was taken when I was upset about something.  

Now I want to show you a different picture.  This is me bursting with joy.

So you see my problem.  I want to show you how happy I am with my family, and my life, and I have a face that is stuck in one position.  Oh, I suppose it is better than if it was stuck in a smiling position.  When your face is stuck frowning people assume you are angry all the time when your face is stuck smiling all the time people move in you into a hospital for the perpetually happy where you wear a jacket with no arms and have pudding for every meal.  

I am sorry, I digressed.  Sometimes I do that.  Back to my point.  I know you are making your list of naughty and nice dogs and when you make the naughty list there is usually my face is used as the emoji at the top of the page.

But, honestly, I am a very happy and grateful dog.  I love my family, I adore my friends, I want for nothing.  I am the most satisfied, content dog in the world.  Just look at my face:

Oh man.  Naughty list here I come.