Thursday, December 6, 2018

Pocket Has A Problem With the Latest Report on Dog Intelligence

I was very disappointed when I heard of a new study done by the University of Exeter and Canterbury Christ Church University, home of the Fighting Christians, that concludes that we dogs do not have superior intelligence.  How can they say other animals are more intelligent than us? When’s the last time you saw a seeing-eye-gorilla? You don’t see them, you know why? Blind people kept ending up with a huge banana surplus.

I know that we dogs can sometimes exhibit signs of being less than intelligent creatures, eating poop, barking at nothing, trying to get under a blanket while standing on it, drinking from the toilet bowl, swallowing rocks, but our worth outweighs our random stupidity.

People should not measure a dog’s worth by intelligence.  While some of us do learn complicated agility courses, become very well trained, and can do impressive tricks, others like me, get stumped by obstacles, don’t listen on walks until we become a barking embarrassment, and can’t turn a trick to earn a quarter. But we do leave all creatures in the dust when it comes to one trait:  Love.

The study listed animals who are smarter than dogs, many of whom I doubt would be good house pets.  The listed includes wild dogs (they will eat the couch), spotted hyenas (even worse are the one you can’t spot), wolves (hmmm….if we evolved from wolves why are they smarter?), cats (I do admire that they are better at manipulating their humans then we dogs are, and we are pretty good at it), bottlenose dolphins (try finding a tank for that thing), chimpanzees (until they eat your face off), horses (there goes the poop bag budget) and pigeons (please, I mean really, please.)

Sure, all these animals could complete a Suduko faster than I could, but do they know the perfect look to give their parents when they are sad?  Do they know how to touch a human with a paw of love to reassure them? Do they know how to give one goofy look that can bring their parents a much-needed smile?  Let’s see a freaking pigeon do that!

Measuring a dog’s worth based on intelligence is like measuring a bear’s value on how well he dances.  While we can be smart, we pride ourselves on our compassion, understanding, and love. Those traits cannot be taught.  They are the special ones.

If you want intelligence spot a hyena.

If you want love get one of us.


  1. ha! that fighting christians never met us... we are the canine macchiavellis and we can do 87 things at the same time and not only two like that gnawpawleon guy...

  2. Well that just shows how non-smart humans are!

  3. Agree with you 100%! There are many kinds of intelligence - and dogs are well-rounded in all these varieties, but especially emotional intelligence. Hugs!

  4. We think the researchers--fighting Christians--were just trying to get their names in the papers, but it all just shows how dumb they are.

  5. We try not to pay attention to those studies. We ALL know better that dogs have very superior intelligence, right?

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

  6. Dogs are smart. That study is wrong.

  7. Very well barked, Pocket! We are the kings and queens of SMART!

  8. We know that dogs have superior intelligence. That study is wrong.

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  10. Oh Pocket, you are SO right! We dogs have a MUCH greater value than mere intelligence! (But there is NO FREAKING WAY that we are not smarter than pigeons!!)
    ~The Wild Ones


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