We dogs have a superpower that can bring humans to their knees and make them do our bidding. That power is called the whimper.
Dogs have discovered this superpower by accident. To us whimpering is something that comes naturally. We did it before we began to live with humans. They first noticed when Drog, one of the first dogs to live with men, needed the rock at the cave entrance moved so he could pee. No one wants to pee in the cave.
He could not get his owner’s attention, so he made the same whimpering he did when he couldn’t catch food in the wild or find shelter. After a couple of whimpers, Drog’s dad got up from this stone chair and moved the rock.
The next day Drog wanted some ibex meat. It was on a high rock, and Drog could not get to it. He gave his dad a sad look. It didn’t work. He tried pawing him.
That didn’t work either. Then Drog remembered the whimper and repeated it. Drog’s dad got up and gave him the meat. When Drog became an angel after being stepped on by a mammoth, he began visiting other dogs in their dreams and told them about the whimper secret. From that day onward, we have used the whimper to get our way.
We are so good at getting parents’ attention that babies tried to copy it by crying, but they could never get the right tone. A cry works sometimes, but a whimper is full-proof. Children have turned the whimper into a whine with mixed results, which is why it becomes less used when people get older unless they come from New Jersey, then they keep doing it until they are old and smelly.
Dogs can use their whimper throughout their lifetime; We have to concentrate on making sure we use our alto voices. If we use the bass tone then it comes out a growl and people don’t respond well to growls. If you mix your whimpers and your growls, then you can end up in the shelter for being an aggressive dog instead of being safely in a house for being a wimpy dog.
I am very proud of my whining abilities. My whimpers could not be resisted. Pocket does a pretty good job. Poor River has too much bass in her voice, but she is blessed with a pathetic face, so she doesn’t need to whine.
It goes against my dog code to warn humans about the whimpers, and even if I did, it would be useless. Whimpering is our superpower and your kryptonite. Resistance is futile.