A final toast to Teddy E. Bond

By Foley

Gather rounds the bowls pups. No Hattie, that’s not water. Don’t lick it up Matilda we need to wait a bit. That’s right Hobo that’s a martini, shaken not stirred. I have called the entire Tanner Brigade here together, on this night, to have one last toast to the great Teddy Earnest Bond.

For those of you who don’t know Teddy Bond has been summoned to Rainbow Bridge by Moses and Fred. There have been rumors of dogs from the dark side trying to infiltrate the bridge and after meeting with Tanner Bub it was decided there was only one pup for the job: Bond. Ted Bond.

I don’t know how many of are aware, but when Pocket and I were banished from the kingdom it was Teddy Bond who found us alone and shivering in the wilderness, who led us to a new dog park where the Tanner Brigade could unite, and it was he who rescued Pocket and I when we stormed the castle. He was one of the founders of the Tanner Brigade, striking the first tent.

Ted apologizes to all his friends. He couldn’t give them notice. The mission was so top secret he couldn’t even tell his great love: His Mom Camille. When she dropped him at the vets he wanted to stop her, to tell her how much he loved her, to tell her how sorry he was that he had to go, but our stoic little Lhasa would do nothing to betray his mission, even as his tender heart was breaking.

Moses had decided Teddy should depart from his vet’s office because from there it is a short path to the bridge. Moses had wanted Teddy to slip away during surgery but our head strong secret agent man has been known to break a rule or two in his Moses’ Secret Service career. He awoke long enough to pass a note to another patient that has been forwarded to me.

“Final Deep Thoughts from Teddie Earnest: My friends I do apologize for my abrupt departure from this tired mortal coil. I have been sent on a mission for which there is no return. I want to thank all of my fellow brigade members. Before you, I was the most beautiful, lovable Lhasa in the world, but when I joined you, I became the most feared secret agent in the land. We were surely a band on brothers and a legion of lollipops.

And for my dearest Mom: How I yearn for one more scratch, one more belly rub, one more game where the light of joy dances in both our eyes, one more time just to lay with you, breathing together, our hearts beating together, looking in your eyes and seeing the comfort you found in mine. If I can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those I love, I shall always be near you, in the garish day and in the darkest night - amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Mommy, do not mourn me dead, think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.”

And with his Mommy’s name on his tongue our Teddy’s soul passed to the bridge.

Now, my fellow Brigade members, it is time for one final toast to Teddy Earnest Bond. The most courageous, bravest, loyal dog I ever met.

To Teddy.

(All the dogs lifted their bowls, tilted them back, and drank down their martinis, and solemnly put the bowls down, stood on their back legs, and saluted towards the bridge in honor of their little secret agent man.)

(As the dogs filed back to their homes Pocket began to sing in her sweet and soft voice:)

beat the drum slowly,
play the fife lowly
sound the death march as you carry me along
cover my body in sweet-smelling posies
for I'm the young puppy cut down in his prime