Tanner Brigade: Musical Act II

The Tanner Brigade: The Musical

Act II

Scene One

Foley and Pocket learn that Tanner has been banned from DS and they petition Princess to allow him back. Princess comes down from on high to answer

“Tanner Bub” (sung to Rehab)


(PRINCESS)

You want me to bring back Tanner but I said 'no, no, no'
She broke the rules it’s very unforchunit you know know know
I ain’t go the time to listen to you puppies whine
You want me to let Tanner back but he must go go go

I’d rather be on line with edy
Cutting down doggies that we may
Cause there's nothing
There's nothing you can say
Unless there’s money you want to pay

I don’t’ have a lot of class
And if you don’t like it kiss my ass

You want me to bring back Tanner but I said 'no, no, no'
He broke the rules it’s very unforchunit you know know know
I ain’t got the time to listen to you puppies whine
You want me to let Tanner back but he must go go go

The man said ‘that dog said my name’
I said get him out of here
I don’t need any babies
It will keep me from fame
Foley said I made her depressed
I said get back with the rest

They tried to make me take back Tanner but I said ‘no, no, no’
She broke the rules it’s very unforchunit you know know know

I don't ever wanna think again
I just don’t need friends
I'm not gonna have my advertisers
think these pups have gone around the bend

It's not just my pride
I need to pay for my mail order bride

They tried to make me take back Tanner but I said ‘no, no, no’
She broke the rules it’s very unforchunit you know know know
I ain’t go the time to listen to you puppies whine
You want me to let Tanner back but he must go go go

Act II. Scene II.


In which Foley Monster and Pocket try to decide what they should do about Tanner’s banishment.

What would Moses Newfie do? Sung to what would Brian Botanio do?

(FOLEY AND POCKET)
What would Moses Newfie do
If he was here right now,
He'd make a plan
And he'd follow through,
That's what Moses Newfie‘d do.

When Moses Newfie was on Mount Everest,
With Sir Hillary,
He dragged to the top that English putz
While wearing a blind fold.

When Moses Newfie was in the desert,
Fighting terrorists,
He used his magical fire breath,
And saved the entire army.

So what would Moses Newfie do
If he were here today,
I'm sure he'd bite an ass or two,
That's what Moses Newfie‘d do.

What would Moses Newfie do,
He'd call all the dogs in town,
And tell them to unite for Tanner
That's what Moses Newfie would do.

When Moses Newfie travelled through time
To the year 1776
He led the troops across the Delaware
and saved the American country

And when Moses Newfie built the pyramids,
He beat up Kubela Kong.

Cos Moses Newfie doesn't take shit from an-e-y-body

So lets all get together,
And unite to stop Princess
And we'll save Tanner Bub too,
Cos that's what Moses Newfie do.

And we'll save Tanner Bub too,
Cos that's what Moses Newfie do.
That's what Moses Newfie do.

Act II. Scene III.

In which Teddy Bond, Foley and Pocket lead the Tanner Brigade from the castle into the wilderness

“Dogs on the Run” sung to Band on the Run

(TANNER BRIGADE)
Stuck inside this castle, sent inside forever,
Never seeing no one nice again like Tanner,
Tanner you, Tanner you.
If I ever get out of here,
I’m going to find a new playground
With freedom to bark all day
All I need is a new place to bark
If I ever get out of here.

Well the walls exploded with a mighty crash and there was Teddy Bond
And Zoe Boe said to the Lambies it’s time to jump the pond
Dogs on the run, dogs on the run.
And Hobo Hudson and Ashton said it was time to have some fun

For the dogs on the run, dogs on the run, dogs on the run, dogs on the run

Well, the Princess drew a heavy sigh seeing how many had gone,
And a bell was ringing in the village square to search until dawn
Dogs on the run, Dogs on the run.
And Teddy Bond and the Foley Monster, were leading every one

For the dogs on the run, dogs on the run, dogs on the run, dogs on the run

Well, the night was falling as the Tanner Brigade began to settle down.
In the castle they’re searching for us every where, but we never will be found.
Dogs on the run, dogs on the run

And the Princess, who held a grudge
Will search for evermore
For the dogs on the run, dogs on the run, dogs on the run, dogs on the run

Act II: Scene IV:

As Tanner prepares to cross to Rainbow Bridge the Brigade invades the Princess’ Castle to pay tribute to him.

“La Tanner Bub” sung to “La Boheme”

FOLEY
Dearly beloved, we gather here to say
our goodbyes
Here he lies
Only we know his worth
The late great son of Mother Earth
On this night we celebrate the life
In this castle of Princess
We raise our glass- Hey bitch kiss my ass-
La Tanner Bub

ALL
La Tanner Bub
La Tanner Bub
La Tanner Bub
La Tanner Bub

POCKET
To days of inspiration,
Chasing ball all day; playing
with nothing, the need
To express-
to communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane,
Going mad

ZOEY BOE
To loving friends to the end
To going around the bend
To separation anxiety,
To praying to a deity
Not to mention of course,
Loving our mom and dad

3 L’S
To going for a walk
Midday past the three piece suits-
To toots- to hoots
To Puppy boots- To choice-
To freedom of voice-
To chewing nyla bones

ALL
To being an us- For once-
Instead of a them-
La Tanner Bub

CASPER & HERSHEY
To hand-crafted carts to push us around
To snausages, bacon, treats and cheese
To running, to playing, To roll on the floor
To waking every morning to a new day

TED BOND
To Gadgets, lasers, three martini lunches
Tuxedos, Playing hunches

MATILDA
To Steak for all three lunches

HATTIE MAE
To compassion, to fashion, to passion
To pretty pink hats

PEPSI
To castrating husbands

HOBO
To non-union kitties

BAARNEY AND TABAATHA
To anything on wheels

SHAMS AND SWEETS
To Weekly Puppy Digests

LUCA
To Fred Browne

BOUDICA
To Buttons at the Bridge

MATILDA
To Moses!

BAMA GANG
To the Tide

RAIDER
To the Sox

SHADOW
Peace on Earth too

REBA AND ABNER
To non pure bred dogs born through love
To Mutts

ALL
La Tanner Bub

FOLEY, POCKET, SOPHIE, TEDDY
To Yorkies, Lambies, Yellow Labradors,
Papillions, poodles, beagles,
Giant New Foundlanders
German Shepards, Bull dogs
Tiny little Shih Tzus, Lhasa Aps
To Silky Terriers

ALL
To barks, to larks, to playing in the dark
Pet Stages- Dental Bones, Cream filed Kongs
To no shame- Never playing the blame gang

HOBO
To table scraps

ALL
A de-worming
Is between my vet and me
To empty anal glands
La Tanner Bub

FOLEY, POCKET AND HOBO
To Writing
No Way To Make A Living, criticisim
Writers blocks, editors,
Carpal Tunnel, ADS, Dying-
Careers, Massive layoffs

ERIN
To Computers
Web pages, Icons, Instant Messages,
Emotes, Designs, Avatars,
Graphic designs, Freedom to Bark

PUPPY, BRANDON, WISHBONE
To Fostering
Giving Love, Giving freedom from
Isolation,
Finding forever homes, raiding puppy mills,
With endless compassion

ZOE BOE
To Drawing
Sketching, coloring, Bringing life
To Dreams,
To Mount Dogmore, Shih Tzus in Training
Making Art to live forever

ALL
To Puggles, Westies, Hounds, And tough little kitties
Too

FOLEY
To Me

TEDDY
To Me

HERSHEY AND CASPER
To Me

ALL
To You, And You And You, You And You
To puppies barking what, barking what,
Barking what they feel
Not being censored from barking what they mean

Let He Among Us Without Sin
Be The First To Condemn

La Tanner Bub
La Tanner Bub
La Tanner Bub

FOLEY
Anyone Want Out of the
Castle?
Is Anyone Still In the
Castle?
Any dog who wants the freedom
To bark
Tear Down The Walls
Why don’t we all?

ERIN
The Opposite Of War
Isn't Peace...
It's Freedom

ALL
La Tanner Bub
La Tanner Bub
La Tanner Bub
Viva La Tanner Bub