Dear Aunt Foley: Why is it so cold and is it ever going to warm up? - Frozen in Illinois
Dear Frozen: As many of you know the reason for the deep freeze that so many of you are going through is because I built a giant skating rink on our side of the River of Life for Angel Ice Dancing. We had weeks of beautiful dancing. I knew it was making all of you cold, but it was winter, and by the end of February everything would be back to normal.
Well, have you ever tried to get a bunch of Angels off an ice rink the size of most of the United States? I ordered them off on March 1, then March 2, but they kept skating. So I turned off the coolants and the ice is starting to melt but as the ice is melting it is getting into the atmosphere and making it colder for everyone.
I hope by the middle of March everything will be back to normal, although the melting ice might cause some torrential rain, flooding, and street closings. But once that is done we are going to start a beautiful garden and that she bring sweet spring breezes and beautiful skies to you.
Please forgive me for the past winter. Us Angels are up here for a mighty long time and we do have to find someway to pass the boredom. But I have learned something during my first winter as an angel is to get everybody off the ice by Valentine’s Day.