Dear Aunt Foley: Who is St Patrick and why do we celebrate his day? Confused Irish Terrier.
Dear Confused Irish Terrier: St Patrick was a wonderful man who helped the people of Ireland very much but again, what the humans are telling you is incorrect. The story is that he led the snakes out of Ireland. What is it with humans and snakes? Those poor slithery bastards get blamed for everything.
The truth is that there never were any snakes in Ireland. St Patrick lead dogs across the seas and into Ireland. Before St Patrick stepped up there were no dogs in Ireland and he traveled the world to bring dogs to his homeland.
The first place he looked was Amsterdam where he found the Knickerbocker Hound. He made it appear like a chicken, snuck it on a boat, and brought it to Ireland where it was renamed the Celtic Hound. His next trip was to the Bay of Bengal where he discovered, and smuggled out, the Bay of Bengal Terrier and, upon reaching Ireland, named him the Glen of Imaal Terrier. In the jungles of South America he found the Bush Terrier and upon reaching Dublin coined the name Kerry Terrier, and, when one of the breed was unable to be neutered and suffered when he could not find a mate, the Kerry Blue Terrier was born. Finally, in Spain, he discovered the Rough Coated Wheaten Terrier gave him a bath and the Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier was born.
Over his lifetime, thanks to his dog smuggling efforts the Russian Red and White Setter became the Irish Red and White Setter; the Bulgarian Setter became the Irish Setter; the Egyptian Dirt Spaniel become the Irish Water Spaniel, the Tonga Terrier became the Irish Terrier and the Brazilian Wolfhound became the Irish Wolfhound.
So raise a Foleytini or a Beef beer, or whatever you like to St Patrick on Monday because without him many of the breeds that we love, or actually are, would be quite different.