Pocket Dog, your intrepid reporter, is always ready to follow a lead when humans intrude on our peaceful world.
My assignment took me to a luxurious apartment in New York City. I found Miranda C. Cat sleeping on a chair in the fading afternoon sunlight.
I hopped up in a chair near her. She awoke, yawned, stretched, and asked me if I was Pocket the Reporter. I confirmed that was my identity. She agreed to answer my questions.
“It is my understanding that on the afternoon of May 14, 2005, when you were two years of age, the owner of these towers, a Donald Trump grabbed you without your permission.”
The cat licked her paw. “Yes, it is true. I was lying here asleep when I was picked up by what I thought, because of the hand size, was a child, but was, in fact, a large orange man. He snatched me right up. I said ‘excuse me, sir, I do not appreciate being grabbed without permission and he told me he was a huge star and touched unsuspecting kitties all the time. So I scratched him in the tiny hand and ran away from him”
“Do you know of any other instances of this man taking liberties with sleeping kitties.”
“Oh yes, when we meow to one another we all tell the same story. And it always ends up with him grabbing us and getting scratched. They say you should let a sleeping dog lie but that isn’t true. You wake up a dog, what do they want to do? Play with you. What is wrong with that? You wake up a cat she will mess you up.”
“Have you ever had anything like this happen before?” I asked.
“Not me but my sister, who is now at the Bridge, did. This guy named Bill used to come into her house.”
“Would he pick her up?”
“No,” Miranda said. “He would just slowly rub against her and make a sound like a guy who is eating really good barbecue. It was gross.”
“Do you have any messages for people who pick up kitties without their permission?”
“Yes, it is important for all men to know kitties do not like to be picked up. Just let us lie here and enjoy ourselves. If we want to be picked up, we will let you know. If we don’t then back off.”
I thanked Miranda and let her go to sleep in the sun again.
This is your reporter, Pocket Dog, signing off.