Thursday, September 14, 2017

Covering My Butt by Pocket Dog

Parents learn a lot of lessons from us, mostly about loyalty and love.  I know they think that it is reciprocated when they “train” us but we aren’t learning, we just agree to let them think they are in charge.  But there is something important I learned from my parents.  How to cover my ass.
Humans use this term a lot but they rarely literally do it.  I know they put at least one, mostly two, and sometimes more, layers of clothing between their ass and the breeze, but that isn’t what is meant by these words.  It means to make sure no one can blame you for anything.
While I certainly don’t want anyone to blame me “covering my ass” means making sure my ass is covered.  I want my butt pressed up against something.  When I sleep, I push my behind against one of my parents.  When I sit with one of them, I make sure my butt is resting against the back or the side of a chair.  When my parents leave I go in the crate where my kitty condo is and I back in.  Nothing is getting to my butt.
There is a reason for my butt vigilance.  Even though we have become domesticated we dogs are always ready to take it to the streets if things go down, so we keep our instincts honed.
Part of our street instincts is to keep something behind our butts.  Whatever happens on the outside, in front of us, we can handle with our sharp teeth.  But we don’t have eyes in the back our head, we only have butts, so that is why I am only comfortable when my ass is pressed against something so no one can get to me from behind,
When I get nervous, which is often, because nervous is my default setting, I climb up to the highest point in the room, which is usually Daddy’s head, and sit on it, so I can survey the area and still have my butt protected.  Anyone who wants to get to my head has to go through Daddy’s thick skull.
Come to think of it, perhaps a man with an agitated dog covering his ass came up with the term “covering my ass” for human use.
So that is something else we have taught our parents.  Covering their asses.
I wonder if politicians have lots of dogs.
They seem to cover their asses better than anyone.


  1. Good one pocket. I spend most of the day on a small piece of soft carpet by the front door, which is on the side of the room making a nice corner for my butt.

    Abby Lab

  2. Butt of course that's always a wise move Pocket!

  3. We are going to have to try practicing that too, Pocket:0

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

  4. All smart dogs cover their butts- you write so eloquently about it.

  5. you are so smart Pocket!
    Hazel & Mabel

  6. A good thing indeed! Maybe those politicians don't always cover their asses as good as they think. Be patient and be alert!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  7. Ghostwriter says that's the golden rule where she works.