Pocket, Her Parents and the Rash Decision

I have been going to the vet so often they should give me a punch card, so I get a free examination every tenth visit.

Four weeks ago I had my anal glands expressed.  Starting that night, and continuing onward, I became obsessed with licking my butt.  I don’t do it often, but when I do, it takes a nuclear explosion to make me stop. I was not showing any other symptoms of anal gland problems.  No scooting, no discharge, no bad smell, just licking.

My parents have had dogs who damaged themselves by licking a problem area. Mommy needed to discourage my self-grooming.  A cone was discussed, but I would be miserable wearing the funnel of shame, and they were worried it would have an adverse effect on my trachea.

I have, from time to time, in certain high-stress situations, like storms, guests and playtime, suffered from excitable pee syndrome.  Because of this, my parents have always kept a pair of diapers nearby. I didn’t mind wearing them. If I did pee the diapers kept me from getting yelled at, so that was fine by me.

When my parents were trying to discourage my butt licking, they discussed several options.  The easiest, and seemingly safest alternative was for me to wear the diapers (I prefer to call them pants).  While I could still get to my butt, I couldn’t achieve a good lick. It was very frustrating. When the diaper came off I would lick, when it was on, I refrained.  

Until two night ago.  I was pantless and licking.  Daddy pulled my head from my special area and noticed a rash had broken out on my belly.   We were going to the groomer, who is a great judge of my health, in two days Mommy said they would get her opinion on my rash and anal glands.

It was a rainy, windy day when we went to the groomers.  Several times we had to slow down as our car passed through flooded roadways.  We floated into the groomers, and Mommy told her the sad tale of what was going on under my tail.

Two hours later my parents returned, wetter, and slightly shakier.  River Song was brought out first, and the groomer told my parents that she had impacted glands that were expressed.   Then I was brought out. The good news was that my anal glands were empty with no sign of infection. The bad news was the groomers were concerned about the rash.

She told my parents if I was her dog she wouldn’t rush me to the vet.  My parent took that advice to heart. They waited a whole day.

My Dad was sure my rash was caused be me wearing a diaper which aggravated my tender belly.  Mommy thought the culprit was the No Scoot chewable I started taking, which are made from brewer’s yeast.

My parents are terrible vets.   I was brought into the examination room, which, by this point should be called the Pocket room.  The vet entered, gave me a quick exam, looked at my belly and diagnosed a severe skin infection from ragweed.  I got two shots. One was an antibiotic and the second was a steroid. I did not mind the shots themselves, after getting a finger up, your butt shots are nothing.  Also, I was given a follow-up appointment in two weeks, because the vet cannot go long without seeing my face.

I did not consent to the steroid shot.  I hope this doesn’t get me suspended or keeps me out of the Dog Hall of Fame.  I swear on a stack on Dogster magazines I never knowingly juiced.



The good news is the diaper is now far back in the junk drawer hopefully never to be warned again unless I am feeling pretty it and works in my ensemble.  If I knew I could have got rid of that thing by interacting with a little ragweed, I would have been sniffing that stuff by the bowl full.