River Wonders Why Humans Need Soul Mates When They Have Dogs

I enjoy having two parents.  With a duo, there is less waiting for a warm lap.  I am not sure why humans need to live with another person.  Sure, they want children, but kids are a bother, and some of them, when they grow older,  move away, burn the bridge from their lives to their parents front door and never cross back.

Pets are a big improvement over children.   There aren’t months of diaper changes, messy cleanups, or walking lessons.  I do understand that, despite their many faults, babies do fill some need in their parents’ lives, which is the only reason that, at birth, they are not sent to a facility in Colorado to be raised until they become productive members of society.  But humans still go to extraordinary lengths to find a person to cohabitate with, even if the result isn’t children. This behavior puzzles me.
What a waste of energy.  Who needs another human when you can have a pet?

A dog never falls out of love with you.  You could leave us on the interstate during a thunderstorm 100 miles away, and we would find our way home to you and give you a lick when we saw you.  Humans seem to fall out of love on the first day they become bored.

Humans often break up because of financial issues.  We would go from sleeping in your bed to sleeping in a cardboard box on the median strip with you without complaint.  We don’t care about money. If there is no food, we will get our wolf on and hunt for you.

We would never leave you for another person or cheat on you by snuggling with someone else without your knowledge.  Sure, we might sniff a stray butt every once in a while but who doesn’t?  And we know our parents give other dogs attention, we can smell it on them, but we forgive them.  We are certain that there will never be another dog for them.

People break up because of trust issues.  Dogs always trust their humans, even when they do the stupid fake throwing the ball trick.  We would like our people to trust us, but sometimes, when we are alone, we do bad things, but only because we are worried about our people.

We never have different aspirations than our parents.  Ours stay constant, food, a walk, a lap, and whatever our parents want to do.   Some humans break up because their spouse is too clingy. We live for clingy. No dog has ever walked away from a human because they needed some me time.  Nor do we ever want to leave because we are not into you.  We are always into you. You are the fascinating creature on the planet.    One of us will never outshine the other.  We are equal in all aspects of life.  We are not concerned about what happens in the bedroom as long as we are allowed inside.

We are the perfect partners for humans, and you are the perfect partners for us.


I just wish we could convince our parents that. Then they would not waste so much time looking for their soulmate and realize they already have one.