Foley's Taies From Rainbow Bridge: Talkin' Turkey

 

I lost the dog who taught me how to be a pet and a family member at just over a year old. Blake always had a spot in my heart, and now, as an angel, she has a spot on my couch living that Shih Tzu life and being a lollipop of leisure.

I became the lead dog at a young age, at first, to two dogs who passed too young, and too unexpectedly, and possibly because of healthcare malfeasance

Then came Pocket: My sister for most of my days. Pocket was scrawny and scared, only happy chasing her ball or sitting in a lap, so when a dog needed to step up to protect the family, it was always me, and then River. I was Sonny, River was Michael and Pocket was Fredo.

Now Ruby has the very important role of head dog with no backup. She is very good at cuddling and playing, but when it comes time to be family her bark is her only weapon, and when it doesn’t fool her enemy, she hides.

She barked at the turkey who had made a home in our backyard, but the turkey ignored her, and the backyard became the top of the list of things of which she was scared.

It was up to me to deal with the turkey.

I flew over it a couple of times. She was a mean-looking mother. Finally, I settled next to her in cardinal form and asked what was wrong.

“I am hunted,” she said.

I asked by whom.

“It’s Thanksgiving. People eat turkey. If you hadn’t noticed, I'm a turkey.”

I hate BWA (birds with attitude).

I assured the turkey it was quite safe. “You're a wild turkey, no one wants to eat you.”:

“Why?” the turkey snapped. “What is wrong with me that I am not good enough to be eaten.”

“Humans raise turkeys just to be eaten, and you’re lean, tough, and gamy.”

“But one of these people, unable to pay grocery prices, might eat me. I jump every time I hear a door shut.”

“The average age here is 76. In the morning people need four cups of coffee just to cut the cheese.” 

The turkey was still concerned. “I wish I was my cousin Ike. The President pardoned him.”

“I can pardon you,” I said, struck by t solution.

“You’re not the President.”

“Even better, I am a cardinal, and I can pardon you.” Then I did. The turkey was so happy she pecked my little head.

I watched her excitedly walk back towards her nest.

It was a shame.

She would have made a helluva sandwich.