Saturday, June 14, 2014

Don't Trust a Squirrel Minion with Watching Your Mom by Foley Monster

As many of you know my Mommy loves to work in the garden, and it is my duty to make sure that she doesn’t over-do it and hurt herself.  When I was on the mortal side of the Bridge I would do this by panting a lot in the stroller so my Mommy would quit because I was overheated.  But my sisters are of no use in this situation.  They just peacefully sit in the stroller until I knock it over
Usually I watch over Mommy and when she overworks I send a bird to poop on her, or send an unexpected rain storm, or flip my sisters’ buggy, and she stops working.  But I have been working very hard at the Bridge lately and decided to spend Memorial Day at the Beach.  Unfortunately this coincided with Mom’s gardening day.
I needed someone to watch over her so I called in my squirrel minions.  I told them if Mommy worked over two hours then make it rain.  They squeaked and squirted yes and I grabbed my towel and went to the beach.
When I got back four hours later I checked in the River of Life.   Mommy was still working in her garden and my squirrel minions were nowhere to be found.  Plus the weather was a mess.  It had rained before they went out, and shortly after they went out, but then stopped.  Damn minions.  You can never get good help.
The first thing I had to do was to make it rain so I called the Rain Support Line and of course I got connected to a Vanjari Hound.  I have absolutely no problem with dogs from India but when you are upset, barking quickly and loudly, and having a hard time expressing yourself, honestly, you would probably rather be talking to an English Setter.  Needless to say I could not make it rain on Mommy.
I was furious and decided to seek out my squirrel minions and find out why they failed me.  I asked some chipmunks where the squirrels had gone, because they can never keep their mouth shut, and they told me the Beaver Strip bar.  I marched right over here.
I found the squirrels gathered around the stage and throwing their nuts in the air whenever they saw a beaver.  I asked the most minion of the minions what they were doing and he said “Making it rain.”  Grrrr……
So now I have to find something more reliable than the squirrel minions to watch over my Mom when she’s working in the garden.  Maybe I can get Orkie the Yorkie to drive down the street and bite her in the butt.  But he’ll probably pass out from exhaustion on the way.
Back to the drawing board.


  1. Never trust squirrels. We know that and we don't even have squirrels here!

    XXXOOO Bella Roxy & Dui

  2. We agree--squirrels are NOT to be trusted.....!

  3. squirrels are notoriously unreliable.

  4. Squirrels are bad bad news! We always try to take them down!

  5. We agree take em down they are so not be trusted.
    Happy Farther's day to your daddy and have a lovely serene Sunday.
    Best wishes Molly


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